Justin Simien directs LaKeith Stanfield, Rosario Dawson and Owen Wilson in this family horror comedy based on the kids’ theme park ride at Disneys the world over.

Game cast, iffy script. I’ve read a lot of people ragging on the near constant product placement (especially during an emotional monologue). If that’s what it takes to pay for this bunch of up-and-comers and firm favourites to assemble then I guess it is worth it. Even the kid is good. Messy story and unfunny dialogue aside, a lot of love has gone into the look of this. I’m a big fan of the ride and always happy to see any of the leads in an ensemble. Throwaway but forgivable.

5

Perfect Double Bill: Haunted Mansion (2003)

John Dahl directs Nicolas Cage, Dennis Hopper and Lara Flynn Boyle in this neo noir where a drifter, who is mistaken for a hitman, gets involved in a scheme of embezzlement and murder in a small town.

Super simple, unadulterated neo noir. The mighty JT Walsh is in it doing his usual untrustworthy yet straightforward masculinity shit. Everyone else of note is a David Lynch alumni. Lara Flynn Boyle is way, way too young for her part, not half as interesting as two dozen actress of a similar ilk kicking around at that point. Her name probably helped get it made but imagine Susan Sarandon or Michelle Pfeiffer in the same role. There are some gripping small scale set pieces and the running joke that Cage’s dope can’t get much further than the town limits each time he tries to escape gets better each and every time. Nothing special but exactly what I like. Celluloid + on location shoot = timeless beauty.

7

Perfect Double Bill: Jerichow (2008)

I write regular features about live comedy for British Comedy Guide here https://www.comedy.co.uk/people/bobby_carroll/features/ and my own Substack https://substack.com/@edinburghlaughterbulletin

Shawn Levy directs Ryan Reynolds, Hugh Jackman and Matthew Macfadyen in this Marvel sequel crossover alternative universe mash-up that brings Logan back to life for yet another adventure.

Imagine being older than 13 and thinking this was the cinematic highlight of the year? Multiple dull 10 minute long talking head exposition scenes, inconsequential violence, cameos, cameos, cameos and, of course, salty meta snark. For people who only communicate via memes. Just goes on and on and on without ever really starting. I do have a nostalgic affection for a few of the surprise resurrections… but it also made me definitively feel like this subculture has left me fully behind.

4

Perfect Double Bill: Deadpool 2 (2018)

Aki Kaurismäki directs Janne Hyytiäinen, Ilkka Koivula and Maria Järvenhelmi in this Finnish drama where a nightwatchman’s life is destroyed by a femme fatale.

Not really a crime film despite the plot, more a parable. There’s very little cuteness here, less humour. The usual Kaurismäki poker face style hardens into something I really appreciated.

7

Perfect Double Bill: The Man Without A Past (2002)

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Alexander Payne directs George Clooney, Shailene Woodley and Beau Bridges in this comedy drama where a lawyer must look after his two daughters while his wife dies and he has to oversee a huge Hawaiian family land deal.

This hit a lot harder on first watch in the cinema. Now it feels a mite insubstantial. Some neat moments but I’m a little scared that Bobby Carroll in his early thirties was overly seduced by multiple shots of Shailene Woodley in a bikini. You don’t often get that in yer obvious Oscar bait fare. A minor Payne.

6

Perfect Double Bill: Up In The Air (2009)

Danny DeVito directs himself, Billy Crystal and Anne Ramsey in this pitch black comedy where a struggling author is forced into a murder scheme by one of his creative writing students.

A childhood favourite. So dark and so sprightly. This really is just a delivery system for Crystal and DeVito to do what they do both best in the same room. You wish they made a dozen or so together. Anne Ramsey is fantastic as the horrific momma. Pacing wise it is a little wobbly. You know in your heart of hearts they ain’t gonna kill momma even if she deserves it. So it spins its wheels until a forced big finale. The journey is worth it. Stick TMFTT under the file: They Don’t Make Em Like This Anymore. Enjoy DeVito the director starting to fully embrace his love of close-ups and match cuts and skewed angles.

8

Perfect Double Bill: Strangers On a Train (1951)

I write regular features about live comedy for British Comedy Guide here https://www.comedy.co.uk/people/bobby_carroll/features/ and my own Substack https://substack.com/@edinburghlaughterbulletin

Troy Duffy directs Willem Dafoe, Sean Patrick Flanery and Norman Reedus in this indie crime flick where two Irish Catholic brothers take down the organised criminals of Boston.

Written and directed by a barman / bouncer who got lucky and then burned every bridge to Hollywood on the way. To wit here is just one of many little facepalm tidbits from IMDB “Composer, writer, and director Troy Duffy dismissed several casting choices for this movie. He refused to meet with Brad Pitt because he’d already played an Irishman in The Devil’s Own (1997) (where Duffy found his Irish accent unconvincing) and rejected Keanu Reeves and Ethan Hawke, calling the former “a fucking punk” and the latter “a talentless fool”. Oh deary deary me! The movie is a sloppy Tarantino clone of a clone of clone with little flair and no consistency. There’s one good action scene involving a toilet. Willem Dafoe camps it up as the FBI agent on the case and liking what he sees. The whole rigamarole feels shattered and then put back together. Like an 8 year old playing guns in their bedroom alone… and then this happened… and then this happened. Those titular protagonists The Boondock Saints get lost in the mix, the bad taste dialogue comes across as sad posing. This should be my jam but it is just a sloppy example of deluded people (indie studios / wannabe auteurs) chasing the one true master.

4

Perfect Double Bill: 2 Days In the Valley (1996)

Craig Gillespie directs Paul Dano, Seth Rogen and America Ferrera in this true story comedy drama of a group of amateur investors how disrupt Wall Street’s shorting of Game Stop stock to potential massive profits.

You can tell where a character is on the ethical spectrum by when and how and if they wear their mask to protect others from spreading Covid. Stacked cast of modern talents and good clean storytelling. I didn’t follow this ridiculously recent news story very closely as it happened but anything the movie illuminates comes as little surprise. You can tell everyone is aiming towards a quirkier The Social Network but the end result is a less obnoxious The Big Short. That still feels like a win. I like this flavour of movie but I’m also getting a little familiar with the rhythms of an average one.

6

Perfect Double Bill: Blackberry (2023)

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Mel Brooks directs Ron Moody, Frank Langella and Dom DeLuise in this period farce where a hiding aristocrat’s inheritance is hidden in one of twelve dining chairs that are being shipped around Soviet Russia.

Essentially The Good, The Bad And The Ugly in post revolutionary USSR. Only with slapstick instead of six shooters. The location shoot is handsome but only the all to brief appearance of Mel himself really has any hilarity to it. Not a patch on his best spoofs but at least it has a plot, rounded characters and a satirical strictness. The Twelve Chairs actually is a passable matinee filler. Surprised it still isn’t in the telly broadcast rotation. Coasts on charm and potential after a strong set up.

6

Perfect Double Bill: The Producers (1969)

Dennis Dugan directs Adam Sandler, Christopher McDonald and Carl Weathers in this sports comedy where an inept hockey player turns golfer to save his Grandma’s house.

Yes, the auteur dramas. And yeah, of course, the romcoms. But Happy Gilmore is THE indisputable finest of Sandler’s angry / dumb / sporty ones. McDonald’s Shooter is an all-timer comedy villain. So schmucky. Ben Stiller probably does his best work in an evil smaller role. This follows the underdog sports comedy formula to a tee, relishing it rather than subverting it. Most importantly it makes me laugh a ton. “I am good. You know what, you’re a lousy kindergarten teacher. I’ve seen those finger-paintings you bring home and they suck.”

9

Perfect Double Bill: Big Daddy (1999)

I write regular features about live comedy for British Comedy Guide here https://www.comedy.co.uk/people/bobby_carroll/features/ and my own Substack https://substack.com/@edinburghlaughterbulletin