Antoine Fuqua directs Jaafar Jackson, Nia Long and Colman Domingo in this authorised jukebox musical biopic charting little Michael Jackson’s efforts to have a solo career away from the Jackson 5 and his abusive father.

The Little People, Big Dreams version of the Michael Jackson story. Almost family friendly despite the constant trauma that lurks around every success. It is corny. It is sanitised. Yet it makes a palatable, diplomatic, if garish, beauty out of the horrid necessities it needs to bodypop and moonwalk around. It navigates the distastefully obsessive fanbase, the cash grabbing family and management team, Bubbles and THE ALLEGATIONS quite delicately. It was always going to be a mad, post truth endeavour. But it absolutely gets the music up on screen with blockbuster verve. That “We Did It With Bohemian Rhapsody” Graham King template works double bubble overtime. The pop icon we fell in love with as kids and who was kicked death around 1993 is resurrected. I’m happy the image version … the King Of Pop brand… can be revived in such an entertaining way. Domingo is fairy tale evil, hidden under Eddie Murphy levels of prosthetic make-up (and playing how I imaging Eddie would play it if someone had the testicles to cast him as Joe Jackson). MJ’s real life nephew, Jaafar Jackson, has got the moves. The triple whammy finale of Human Nature, Workin’ Day And Night and Bad is undeniably glorious. All the iconic hoofing and noise making is. Go for the razzle dazzle and switch off the controversy. Michael is a brass knuckle blast. And if your heart ain’t pure for this at least the Bloods and Crips dance-off scene will fill your sarcastic snarky little cups. Sincerely ridiculous fantasy.

8

Perfect Double Bill: Bohemian Rhapsody (2018)

Jim Jarmusch directs Tom Waits, Adam Driver and Charlotte Rampling in this anthology indie exploring the detached relationships between “close” family members.

You can never truly know anyone, especially those you share DNA with. Jarmusch was one of the first auteurs I embraced as my own. And while I have caught just about everything he has done at the cinema since Ghost Dog I have felt he has gone distinctly off the boil after that apex. This is a fine little doodle with a hip cast and cute repetitions. Probably only exists as there was funding and the right actors said yes. Nice to see Paris again through Jim’s lens. Vicky Krieps has pink hair, Waits is stellar and Blossom is an uptight tweedy nerd. I need to make searchable notes on two of these things. A wispy nothing. Mood poem.

5

Perfect Double Bill: Paterson (2016)

I write regular features about live comedy for British Comedy Guide here https://www.comedy.co.uk/people/bobby_carroll/features/ and my own Substack https://substack.com/@edinburghlaughterbulletin

James McAvoy directs Samuel Bottomley, Séamus McLean Ross and himself in this Scottish film of the true tale of two Dundee lads who got a record contract pretending to be rappers from the States.

Natalie hit the nail on the head by saying this felt like every kids TV drama we watched and forgot about growing up. The movie suffers from not being very fun. Wallowing in self imposed misery, making the two leads quite unlikable. Should be a blast. Why so serious? Also, why so long? There is only 85 minutes of amusing anecdote here. Stretch and grind. I know this was made to an independent budget but seeing so much modern tech lurking in the background of 2001 London really took me out of the movie. Nitty picky… but I was bored, often looking everywhere and anywhere but the protagonists.

4

Perfect Double Bill: I Swear (2025)

Larry Stewart directs Daphne Zuniga, Vera Miles and Clu Gulager in this college sorority slasher with an amnesiac pledge.

Doesn’t make a jot of sense. Stars the girl from Spaceballs, the final act is in a mall and there is a twist. Takes ages to get going. Forgettable.

3

Perfect Double Bill: The Power (1984)

You can follow me on Letterboxd here https://letterboxd.com/ValVerdeNights/

Magnus von Horn directs Vic Carmen Sonne, Trine Dyrholm and Besir Zeciri in this Danish period drama about a woman whose life spirals to dark places after she becomes pregnant, loses her factory job and her husband returns from war.

Some juddering shocks and insidiously tragic moments herein. An incredibly bleak fairy tale based on a true story and horrific crimes. Aside from the beautifully stark black and white photography, this makes you side with “the monsters” due to the hopelessness of everyone’s situation. A unique experience but not exactly fun, fun, fun.

7

Perfect Double Bill: Blancanieves (2012)

Rian Johnson directs Josh O’Connor, Daniel Craig and Glenn Close in this locked room murder mystery set around a church.

Glossy all-star telly. More of the same, not enough Benoit Blanc. I can see myself revisiting these in my dotage for colourful comfort and not being able to follow one scene to the next.

6

Perfect Double Bill: Knives Out 4 (????)

I write regular features about live comedy for British Comedy Guide here https://www.comedy.co.uk/people/bobby_carroll/features/ and my own Substack https://substack.com/@edinburghlaughterbulletin

Maggie Gyllenhaal directs Jessie Buckley, Christian Bale and Annette Bening in this feminist monster movie / period crime mash-up with a dash of musical.

The Bride doesn’t hold together. It is choppy, sloppy, wild and in your face. More articles have been published tossing around it than people bought tickets at their ABC. Gyllenhaal’s grotesque folly has its moments but often this is laughably awful. Po-faced, try hard, overreaching. It is at its best when it is silky and daft. An impromptu dance number here and a potty mouthed possession there. You always know what Gyllenhaal and the gang are trying to do. They just never commit to a choice. But the unruly B-roll shot selection and Up There Own Arse acting tones really make you lose faith. This won’t be a Rocky Horror or Showgirls. Why? Those were, and are, abrasive larks. This is a pity party. Love Me / Don’t Look At Me roulette. Good costumes, music and ultra violence.

5

Perfect Double Bill: The Bride (1985)

Jared Bush and Byron Howard direct Ginnifer Goodwin, Jason Bateman and Ke Huy Quan in this buddy cop animated sequel from Disney where brave rabbit cop Judy Hopps and her morally dubious friend, the fox Nick Wilde, team up again to crack a new case.

It feels begrudging to dismiss this as more of the same. But does a hit sequel need to be anything else? To both films credit, they play with visual scale in a way lost since the heyday of Looney Tunes and Max Fleischer.

6

Perfect Double Bill: Hoppers (2026)

You can follow me on Letterboxd here https://letterboxd.com/ValVerdeNights/

Jaume Collet-Serra directs Taron Egerton, Jason Bateman and Sofia Carson in this thriller where an airport security agent is blackmailed into allowing a deadly suitcase to pass through his scanner.

I think Taron Egerton is grand. Really likeable everyman, physically convincing in action. This could be his audition for a Die Hard reboot or M:I torch passing. Not that I want either of those things to happen. (I also realise now I forgot to write a diary entry for his Tetris movie… Doh!) The thriller itself is slick but only the middle act has that true special sauce. It lets him off the hook to run around and be the he-man hero way too early into the dilemma. And Bateman, bless his smarmy sitcom socks, ain’t a particularly memorable villain. Merry Christmas!

7

Perfect Double Bill: Non-Stop (2014)

André Øvredal directs Corey Hawkins, Aisling Franciosi and Liam Cunningham in this adaptation of the chapter in Bram Stoker’s Dracula which most films skip.

Solid period horror which probably would struggle to find its audience any decade of my lifetime. All the ingredients are there for a The Thing inspired paranoid classic but we know too much of what is going on from the off.

6

Perfect Double Bill: Dracula: A Love Story (2025)

I write regular features about live comedy for British Comedy Guide here https://www.comedy.co.uk/people/bobby_carroll/features/ and my own Substack https://substack.com/@edinburghlaughterbulletin