Knightriders (1981)

George A. Romero directs Ed Harris, Tom Savini and Amy Ingersoll in this action drama where the motorcycle riders of a renaissance fair stunt team try to live by their anachronistic codes of medieval honour and chivalry.

A genuinely one of a kind movie. If I had to nail down a comparison it would be”imagine if the makeshift family of Boogie Nights preferred riding bikes in fake armour rather than making porn.” It can be a little overly earnest at times, but Romero’s values are wholesome and somewhat ahead of their time (the irony). Savini rocks as the in-house antagonist. The jousting on two wheels set pieces are distributed just about evenly with all the talkie stuff. This sat on my “to watch” pile of blu-rays for years before I had a free morning and tore the cellophane off.

6

Perfect Double Bill: The Loveless (1981)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Keeping Up With the Joneses (2016)

Greg Mottola directs Zach Galifianakis, Isla Fisher and Gal Gadot in this uninspired action comedy where two nosy neighbours suspect the glamorous couple next door of being spies.

Now I will watch Isla Fisher in anything, and even though this has a lengthy sequence of her and Gal Gadot in lingerie, this puts that statement very much to the test. Sees what a slew of undemanding, forgotten comedies did and then aims lower.

2

Perfect Double Bill: The Spy Who Dumped Me (2018)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Django (1966)

Sergio Corbucci directs Franco Nero, Loredana Nusciak and Ángel Álvarez in this spaghetti western where a drifter drags a coffin into a violent town.

A slightly more gimmicky cash-in on A Fistful of Dollars. If you crunch the numbers down figure by figure it doesn’t really add up. Franco Nero is handsome, almost too pretty, but not a patch on Clint. The score jostles along but lacks Ennio Morricone’s stirring spiritual choruses and demented playfulness. This only occasionally aims for Leone’s innate sense of the epic and mythic. That doesn’t mean Corbucci doesn’t hit the spot. Django can be enjoyable nasty and kinetic at times. A Lust In Mud where the beautiful leads seemingly never consider having sex.

7

Perfect Double Bill: A Bullet For the General (1966)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Movie of the Week: The Getaway (1972)

Sam Peckinpah directs Steve McQueen, Ali MacGraw and Ben Johnson in this crime action thriller where a couple go on a run for the border after a heist goes wrong.

Steve McQueen. Funeral black suit. Shotgun wrapped in a blanket. Dragging a scuffed and exhausted Ali McGraw in his wake. The epitome of cool. There’s at least five awesome hardcore crime set pieces spread all over this. The heist. The train station con. The garbage truck. The violence in the hotel (No Country For Old Men knows this section verbatim.) The race to the border. Yet the most thrilling sequence is the credit sequence; edited like a mini Nicolas Roeg flick, we experience Doc’s final straw as prison breaks him over a series of intercut repetitions. A hectoring score by Quincy Jones, a screenplay by Walter Hill based on a Jim Thompson novel… so you know we’ve got the hardboiled goods. Al Lettieri stands out as Rudy, the main antagonist. A personal all-time favourite. Every movie should be like this.

10

Perfect Double Bill: No Country For Old Men (2007)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Eternals (2021)

Chloé Zhao directs Angelina Jolie, Gemma Chan and Richard Madden in this Marvel superhero movie where ancient immortals protect the Earth from one particular nasty, and are not permitted to intervene otherwise.

Handsome but sophoric. Imagine if Terrence Malick had directed an early 1990s toyline advert… and I mean that in the least sarcastic way possible. Notable for MCU sex, MCU gay kissing and MCU’s continued complete and utter failure to try and get away with a standalone entry. The sad thing is 20 minutes in I’d thought gotten this one wrong, underestimated Zhao as a gun-for-hire. But then nothing happens… slowly. Out of nowhere there’s a fascinating cascade of revelations in the middle act, the world shattering ramifications of which are then never further explored. The ensemble of blank characters just hang out on their ship dragging their feet before an underwhelming finale. Has the time zig zagging structure of Watchmen but none of the brazen extreme confidence of a Snyder to pull such a storytelling coup off. Bryan Tyree Henry keeps his head admirably above the weak material.

4

Perfect Double Bill: Hulk (2003)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

House of Gucci (2021)

Ridley Scott directs Lady Gaga, Adam Driver and Jared Leto in this true crime story of the murderous end of the Gucci dynasty at the close of the twentieth century.

Is it a drama? Is it a comedy? I giggled more than I cared. Quite the bad acting treat but never reaches a level of camp to rival Showgirls. Adam Driver is the only actor who delivers a Halal performance… which given everyone else’s levels of ham means he feels complete off key. Lady Gaga is still the worst thing in it but at least hoofs herself through it with gay abandon. The best scene is when Al Pacino and Jeremy Irons just mutually decide to give up on their accents mid meal. There’s a good true crime story here but this feels more Bonfire of the Vanities than The Assassination of Gianni Versace. The retro fashions oscillate from feast for the eyes to retro vomit. Wanted to love this, found myself fishing in a barren stream. The obviously condensed timeline and anachronistic soundtrack constantly take you out of the lengthy narrative experience. It is a film that cannot live up to its already iconic trailer moments; “I don’t consider myself to be a particularly ethical person, but I am fair.” “Father, Son, and House of Gucci.” Prestige meme cinema.

5

Perfect Double Bill: All The Money In The World (2017)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Encanto (2021)

Byron Howard and Jared Bush direct Stephanie Beatriz, María Cecilia Botero and John Leguizamo in this Disney animated fantasy about the one girl in a magical family who doesn’t have any gifted fairytale powers.

The best Disney animation in years. Packed with colour and detail. There’s no way you can keep up with all the plentitude of accessories and touches. Will be just as entertaining on a second watch I’d wager. I liked the blockiness of the character design, harking back to South American art. Nice central message that goes against the current family movie trend for predestined chosen ones and protagonists whose powers are their only defining feature. Mirabel is a fully fleshed out, awkward but confident charmer. The songs are all toe tappers. The “camerawork” feels particularly daring and cinematic. Whatever magic has been bottled here is exactly the vintage the Mouse House should be aiming for.

8

Perfect Double Bill: Zootropolis (2016)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

The Age of Shadows (2016)

Kim Jee-woon directs Song Kang-Ho, Lee Byung-hun and Gong Yoo in this Korean period espionage thriller where a group of anti -Japanese occupation resistance fighters attempt to convert the cop investigating them into being an ally in their cause.

Plot wise this is way too murky to follow for the first hour. I confess to pausing it and reading the Wikipedia synopsis when I realised I had fully lost track of what was going on and who was who. As a visual experience though it is sumptuous and the set pieces have a real threat to them. Just wished I cared about the characters and machinations a little more from the get go.

5

Perfect Double Bill: Lust, Caution (2007)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

I Think I Love My Wife (2007)

Chris Rock directs himself, Kerry Washington and Gina Torres in this unromantic comedy where a bored husband considers an affair with the blast from the past who keeps turning up at his office needing things and wanting him.

Chris Rock and Louis CK rewrite this remake of a French arthouse classic: Chloe In the Afternoon. You can see their stand-up personalities in a lot of the funnier moments. You can also see it as the work of a pair of men whose real life marriages will soon end in divorce. Borderline misogynistic at times but considering how unlikeable ALL the characters are, maybe it is more appropriate to say the work of at least one and half misanthropes. Still there are some chuckles and a few off the wall moments that herald CK’s later talent for hard whimsy.

4

Perfect Double Bill: The Seven Year Itch (1955)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Tape (2001)

Richard Linklater directs Ethan Hawke, Robert Sean Leonard and Uma Thurman in this filmed play where two friends reunite in an out-of-town motel room, one of them with an agenda to record the truth about a night back in high school.

Linklater’s attempt to do a Dogme. His usually unobtrusive visual compositions are abandoned. He puts his pixel-y digital handheld everywhere and anywhere. And considering this is a movie about shifting and a-skewed perspectives… that’s kinda apt. The acting is serviceable, with only Ethan Hawke finding nuance in what seems like quite a stagey mode of performance. A claustrophobic think piece that probably should only be a ‘one-watcher’ once experienced.

6

Perfect Double Bill: SubUrbia (1996)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/