Max Eggers and Sam Eggers directs Brandy Norwood, Andrew Burnap and Kathryn Hunter in this psychological chiller where a newly pregnant couple are forced to take in an ailing, estranged stepmother.
We came for Brandy. We stayed for Kathryn Hunter. Not great but not the complete “M-E-double-S mess” you’d expect. Decent credit sequence, a powerhouse villain performance. Get Out meets Rosemary’s Baby but with a nappy full of faecal matter.
David Anspaugh directs Sean Astin, Charles S. Dutton and Jon Favreau in the true story sports movie about a young man who was always told that he was too wee and too thick to play college football but who went to near martyr-level lengths to make the B-team at Notre Dame.
A very similar experience to Forrest Gump. Surface level this is a nostalgia porn, triumph against adversity, strive to achieve the impossible dream male fairytale. But the ultimate message is rather bleak and cynical, the naivety and pluck is a veil. It just happens to be filmed with autumnal lushness and a rousing score. They don’t make em like the Boomers like to think they were made anymore. Go Rudy! But in all honesty it is hard not to care about and roots for Sean Astin whether he is searching earnestly for pirate treasure or giving ring destroying assist.
Boaz Davidson directs Lawrence Monoson, Diane Franklin and Steve Antin in this teen sex comedy.
The first hour of this is indistinguishable from a Porky’s. The relative high quality and ambitious filmmaking of say a Risky Business or a Fast Times is nowhere to be seen as is any chance of catching future stars before they became household names. Crass, bawdy and amateurish. But the final 20 minutes is abruptly intense and melancholy. Narratively the flow of the story makes perfect sense but the enigmatic rawness of the switch up elevates the film (just) out of the saucy exploitation gutter. Top new wave soundtrack with every song used twice to rinse maximum value. Diane Franklin went on to play one of princesses in Bill & Ted. Most triumphant!!
Tim Mielants directs Cillian Murphy, Tracey Ullman and Jay Lycurgo in this drama following a put upon headteacher at a violent boy’s home.
These teenagers look way old. This pressure cooker day is set in the Nineties and I’ve reached the age where even the smallest anachronism about “my decade” really irritates me. There’s me waving my wrinkled fist at a cloud as someone refers to drinking Hooch a couple of years before the brand launched. Get over yourself, Bobby. Very worthy Play For Today type deal. There’s a nice moment where the fly on the wall documentary framing device switches to the perspective of a graceful overseeing actual fly as it hovers over the drama. There are probably too many framing devices here in all honesty. Pick one, not six. They do chose the right ending though. Not the one that would have capped off a Play For Today back in the day. Nice to have Tracey Ullman back as she’s perfect here.
Stephen Hopkins directs Jeff Bridges, Tommy Lee Jones and Suzy Amis in this crass actioner where an Irish bomber targets an old foe in Boston.
Blarney Stone Speed with Batman Forever plotting. The mad accents and up to 11 performances should have garnered this at least a cult following. Hey, Tommy Lee Jones I see you sanctioning buffoonery, ya hypocrite. On paper this should be a blast, genuinely curious as to why it’s quite so turgid and off putting. The set pieces are more ridiculous than exciting. I went to the West Ealing flea pit to see this one… maybe my last trip before they closed it down? What a shitty swan song to a fag smoke shithole. Give me a Time Machine I’d live that day again note for note.
Terry Zwigoff directs Max Minghella, Sophia Myles and John Malkovich in this campus comedy where an art student finds themselves enrolled in a ghetto of an art college.
This wants to be a satire but I’m not sure it really has the right concentration at what it wants to lampoon. Firstly, John Water’s Pecker did this all far more jollily, with dirty affection. Secondly, the serial killer subplot distracts from what we bought a ticket for, a key sign that Clowes / Zigoff didn’t think there was enough here as a one-of-a-kind experience. Thirdly, as a quasi sequel to Ghost World (same source author, humour, attitude, style) this just proves what lightning in a bottle casting Thora, Scarlett and Steve all were. If Zwigoff just stuck to his preset objectives there is a better film here. Malkovich and Myles understand the assignment.
“Legend has it it was written by the dark ones. Necronomicon Ex Mortis. Roughly translated – Book of the dead. The book served as a passageway to the evil worlds beyond. It was written long ago, when the seas ran red of blood. It was this blood that was used to ink the book. In the year 1300 AD, the book disappeared…”
This one looks the absolute tits. Feels like that missing puzzle piece, a belated entry in the American Zeotrope classic horror adaptation cycle that included Bram Stoker’s Dracula, Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein and Tim Burton’s Sleepy Hollow. All keen Nineties Neo- expressionist Victoriana gorefests. As either a shocker or a romp it goes off the boil. The second half is unmemorable and it feels like Del Toro is a bit suffocated by the trappings.
6
Saturday The 14th (1981)
Howard R. Cohen directs Richard Benjamin, Paula Prentiss, and Jeffrey Tambor in this horror spoof where a suburban family inherits an old mansion which houses the dangerous ‘Book of Evil’ that all the ghouls want.
Absolutely guff horror comedy with blandies doing sub-sitcom delivery of non-jokes while occasionally actors in rubber suits have a party in the kitchen. Remember the naff hand-drawn box art from my first visit to the videoshop back in the day.
2
Dracula (1931)
Tod Browning and Karl Freund directs Bela Lugosi, Helen Chandler and Dwight Frye in this classic Universal vampire adaptation.
I haven’t watched this one since I was a teenager. After an eerie opening act (surprise armadillos) it becomes a filmed stage play. Very creaky, with perhaps the most abrupt wrap-up I have ever witnessed to a movie. At least Bela Lugosi and Dwight Frye both fill the screen with their creepy personalities. Why bother with this museum piece though if you have Eggers’ Nosferatu on your physical media shelf?
6
Burnt Offerings (1976)
Dan Curtis directs Karen Black, Oliver Reed and Bette Davis in this chiller where a family moves into a large old mansion in the countryside which seems to have a mysterious thrall over all their behaviour.
A big influence on The Shining with a remote house essentially possessing a family… eventually tearing the unit apart. Reed gives one of his best performances. On screen, he and Bette have nice chemistry. It was a shame to read in the trivia that they hated each other on set. King definitely took notes on this one. A hedge even comes alive at one point. Creepy in a PG sorta way.
6
Trick ‘R’ Treat (2007)
Michael Dougherty directs Dylan Baker, Anna Paquin and Brian Cox in this crisscrossing anthology flick set on October 31st.
Very comic booky… Creepshow / Tales From The Crypt. It never truly comes alive beyond being a five finger exercise but Anna Paquin looks nice in a Red Riding Hood costume. The chapter about the little kids visiting a gorge on the edge of town to prank their touched neighbour is the only above average entry.
6
Anguish (1987)
Bigas Luna directs Zelda Rubinstein, Michael Lerner and Talia Paul in this mind bending meta horror where a controlling mother uses telepathic powers to send her middle-aged son on a killing spree.
Wild times at the Filmhouse for my birthday movie. I always associated Bigas Luna with saucy Spanish sex comedies so this breakthrough flick with Hollywood character actors was a shock in more ways than one. I won’t ruin any big formal surprises but this is a movie that often takes you out of your comfort zone then keeps turning those self aware screws. Possibly will only work the once but what a ride. Not for the easily queasy.
7
The Devil’s Rejects (2005)
Rob Zombie directs Sid Haig, Sheri Moon Zombie and Bill Moseley in this western horror sequel to House Of A 1000 Corpses.
I’m a Rob Zombie fan. I like his house sauce. It is spicy, chunky and very bad for you. There ain’t no allergens warning in this BBQ pit. The Devil’s Rejects is his most accessible, most traditionally competent project. Sid Haig gets a decent amount of screentime, Bill Moseley gives his most sinister performance. The gruelling motel hostage sequence is emotionally unsettling. Will push your buttons!! The jukebox Seventies shitkicker soundtrack stomps ass and takes names. The Allman Brothers and Lynyrd Skynyrd are put to perfect use. This one gets the heart thumping. An absolute, gritty grubby blast that owes as much to Peckinpah as it does to Hooper.
8
The Haunted Palace (1963)
Roger Corman directs Vincent Price, Lon Chaney Jr. and Debra Paget in this gothic horror about a couple who inherit a lynched to death warlock’s castle.
Influenced by both Edgar Allen AND H.P., this period literary chiller has two unnerving scare sequences and a grand castle interior set. Plus The Tiger Of Eschnapur’s Debra Paget looks resplendent in her final role. Vinny Price gives a deliciously evil performance when possessed by his ancestor. Heartless, determined. What else would you expect? Corman was a fine director and his entire Poe sequence deserves more admiration than mere praise from cult circles.
Na Hong-jin directs Hwang Jung-min, Zo In-sung and Jung Ho-yeon in this epic South Korean sci-fi alien invasion chase movie.
Jaws on intergalactic uppers. 30 – 40 minute long adrenaline fuelled action sequences. A pace so persistent that sometimes you’ll just tap out and let it wash over you. A horse riding and car jumping finale that matches only 20th century Cameron in its bravura kinetic chutzpah. An ending that sees the new settlers given a voice and narrative supremacy while the dogged human survivors can barely put their threatened existence into words. We see the colonisers become the storytellers and the ragtag bedraggled indigenous displaced. Is this our future? Is the subtextual message possibly a wee bit racist… or at least nationalistic? At times gleefully puerile, other times distracting lore heavy. The two things we can all agree on is there HAS to be a sequel and the daffy / beautiful Jung Ho-yeon proves her movie star bonafides with aplomb.
Paweł Pawlikowski directs Sandra Hüller, Hanns Zischler and August Diehl in this historical drama where German author Thomas Mann returns to both new Germanys with his daughter at the start of the Cold War.
Beautiful monochrome photography and accurate visual recreation. Fatherland is a more obtuse experience than Ida or Cold War even if they are set in the same post-WWII milieu. More about questions and alienation than emotions and connections. A wonderfully made piece of arthouse but the purposeful intellectual distance will hold me up chasing down a rewatch.
