Bobby Carroll's Movie Diary

Luc Besson directs Anne Parillaud, Jean-Hugues Anglade and Tchéky Karyo in this action thriller where a young woman, facing a life sentence in prison, is press ganged into becoming an assassin for the French government.

The action is still spectacular (the restaurant hit is an all time amazing set piece) but this sits in the memory more comfortably than the actual viewing experience plays out. Parillaud looks delectable but her acting is annoyingly all over the shop, downright irritating in a lot of scenes. And Besson seems to think that being convicted for maliciously shooting someone in the head in cold blood is the height of establishment injustice… which doesn’t ring true at all. Those dated, whiny aspects aside… this still looks superb. And we want the style not the substance.

8

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Les Mayfield directs Sean Austin, Brendan Fraser and Pauly Shore in this jokeless comedy about a teenage caveman who wakes up in 90s California.

Everybody involved went on to better things. Except Pauly Shore.

3

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Alex Cox directs Emilio Estevez, Harry Dean Stanton and Tracey Walter in this sci-fi satire where a new repo man is shown the ropes by an old hand with his own philosophy… meanwhile a car makes their list with something extra-terrestrial in the boot.

It’s A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World meets Kiss Me Deadly meets a Warren Oates movie. Iggy Pop theme tune that shreds. About as punk as any studio released movies ever got. It isn’t particularly well made but if someone told you it was their all time favourite you wouldn’t blink an eye. There’s just something about the energy and the attitude that puts it ahead of slicker, more crafted productions of its time. “Look at those assholes, ordinary fucking people. I hate ’em.”

8

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Richard Benjamin directs Cher, Winona Ryder and Christina Ricci in this coming of age period movie about matriarch-led family of kooks who never settle in one town for long.

A blank turn by Cher is orbited by three generations of fine character actors. Bob Hoskins is probably the stand-out as the open hearted love interest. Although he has one topless scene where he is so hairy it looks likes someone has drawn a crayon outline roughly around his shoulders. Nothing much happens and quirky affectations are the order of the day but this is still very sweet. Cher’s The Shoop Shoop Song dominated school discos for my generation, the music video made many clips from this film all but indelible in my memory .

6

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Marco Brambilla directs Sylvester Stallone, Wesley Snipes and Sandra Bullock in this sci-fi action comedy where a violent cop and his nemesis are defrosted in a peaceful, fascist future.

The first half of this amps up the satire and is a lot of laughs. Shame the action is so uninspired. Very much a case of loud scenes where one star shoots endless projectiles at the other name who outruns them with a perturbed look on their face. The finale feels like that shot stuck on a loop. The tongue-in-cheek world building has aged far better; swearing fines, the three seashells, Taco Bell. Snipes gives flamboyant villain, often dressed as kid TV show presenter (a look that is never explained). Bullock is the highlight in a significant pre-fame role as Stallone’s 20th century obsessed partner.

6

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Wong Kar-wai directs Takeshi Kaneshiro, Tony Leung and Faye Wong in this Hong Kong diptych where two lovelorn cops start strange new romances anchored around a late night takeaway joint.

Easily Wong Kar-wai’s best – this treats the backstreets, bright lights and plastic picnic furniture of HK as oils in an expressionistic painting. The crime story aspects are dialled back, this is about heartbreak and fate. Real quirky romance. Faye Wong’s breaking and entering interior designer is the original manic pixie dream girl, the adorable stalker with keys to your home. Tony Leung is the beat cop who only seems to converse freely with his dishrag. Takeshi Kaneshiro is eating a month’s worth of expired tinned pineapples to get over his lost amour. Brigitte Lin is the hyper hot femme fatale; she’s heard all the lines and is on the run after her drug smuggling scam has gone wrong. California Dreaming on such a winter’s day. Like the lyrics of that song, which becomes near anthemic to this movie, Kar-wai sees the poetry in everything, the apposition in the everyday, the magic in yearning. Like Jim Jarmusch and Robert Altman, this feels almost anti-genre, a very difficult trick to pull off but here executed with masterful elan.

9

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Garry Marshall directs Richard Gere, Julia Roberts and Jason Alexander in this fairytale romcom where a fat cat and a prostitute spend the week together.

Everywhere she walks heads turn. As if LA has a deficit of leggy stunners, as if 5 star hotel guests never pay for sex work. M-MERCY! A star is born. Roberts is vivacious here playing the cleanest, most wholesome, healthiest looking streetwalker of all time. That aspect of the con never ever convinces and it has taken repeated viewings for me to get over the unreality and iffy-ness of it all. Yet the gloss works, the sexiness works, the jokes land and the yacht rock soundtrack absolutely slaps. It is Cinderella, ain’t it? Cinderella with references to crack and condoms… but Cinderella all the same. Made three decades after Breakfast At Tiffany’s and now the same passage of time old, I’d say it is about as dated and honeyed and forgivable. As well made and perky as it all is I don’t know what I want from it. A hard hitting drama? No. Slightly less pristine sex? The piano scene is perfect. A more believable ending? Truth is abandoned the second the wonderful shopping / makeover montage begins. Every outfit from the start of the second act = chef’s kiss! Sometimes you just gotta let the confection be the confection. This time, for the first time, I valued the sweetness.

7

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Gunther von Fritsch and Robert Wise direct Ann Carter, Kent Smith and Simone Simon in this sequel to the original terror classic which explores the family of survivors in the aftermath of Dad’s first marriage to a sexy alluring cat person.

A sequel in name and cast only… if you’ve come for Cat People you’ll walk away very disappointed. More about a troubled young tot’s slightly scary fantasy world, one where she imagines Simone Simon as spectral angel in the garden. Not particularly effective as a horror and a complete gyp as a sequel but quite sweet and watchable as a curious drama about a sensitive child. Atmosphere and anti-conformity are the cash money words of the day.

6

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Robert Schwentke directs Henry Golding, Andrew Koji and Haruka Abe in this action spin-off for the popular Eighties toyline’s most iconic ninja character.

Actually starts out quite strong, even if beat for beat the scripts for this and the recent Mortal Kombat reboot are interchangeable. There’s some pretty lavish production design and the earlier action set pieces have a certain degree of generous OTT pizazz. Yet it grows increasingly unmemorable the more the franchise elements are introduced. I watched this with one eye on Golding being a potential new 007 contender but am sorry to report he is the dullest thing in any of his scenes. To be blown off the screen by one or two colourful supports is forgivable but for every single other character to be more attention grabbing and likeable suggest he will not have the chops to be Bond.

5

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Terence Young directs Audrey Hepburn, Alan Arkin and Richard Crenna in this home invasion thriller where three crooks con their way into a blind lady’s apartment.

A very obvious adaptation of a stage play – the campier aspects are more pleasing than the smart stuff. The villains plan to recover a doll full of heroin is so arduous and convoluted it has zero chance of ever working. Hepburn’s straight performance as the best student at “blind school” is as cute as a button. Believable? No! But gloriously saccharine and sincere. The late sixties lingo and culture clash varnish feels particularly slapdash. Yet it kills an evening nicely… Henry Mancini’s score is surprisingly creepy.

7

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/