Jon Watts directs Tom Holland, Zendaya and Jacob Batalon in this Marvel superhero crossover movie where Peter Parker and Doctor Strange cast a spell that accidentally sucks in characters from previous Spidey franchises into the official MCU.

As millennial fan service, this is second to none. And I am also a fan of Spidey. As blockbuster cinema there is far too much sitting around in half lit rooms or standing around poorly lit basements chatting. Reminded me of a Batman 1966 TV show episode where two or three villains team up in a warehouse. Only not bright. The big action finale is a murky blur. I do wonder about what little kids make of the constant dialogue with characters from franchise incarnations they’ve never seen? Made me wish Andrew Garfield was in better Spider-Man entries and Matt Murdock was confirmed for a feature length comeback. Watchable but not very satisfying given the scope and potential on offer.

7

Perfect Double Bill: Doctor Strange (2016)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Ken Russell directs Kathleen Turner, Anthony Perkins and John Laughlin in this erotic thriller where a frustrated investigator and kinky lay preacher are obsessed with a moonlighting prostitute called “China Blue.”

Sticky and stagey. Was quite looking forward to this but it is a hot mess. Feels almost theatrical, aiming for Brechtian but actually achieving pantomime. Perkins is stunt casting and his extreme Psycho retread is given short, almost pointless, shrift. Kathleen Turner looks hotter in her everyday androgynous looks rather than her hooker cosplay. The lead actor is laughably bad. Everyone is aiming for a heightened declarative style (the script is 50% monologue) but he really struggles with any kinda acting mode. Not erotic, not exciting, not insightful. Even as a camp car crash it is found wanting. Awful synth score. Russell’s colour pallette is at least memorable. The shitty sewer between art and trash where everything stinks.

3

Perfect Double Bill: Belle Du Jour (1967)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Masaki Kobayashi directs Tatsuya Nakadai, Michiyo Aratama and Chikage Awashima in this expansive Japanese drama following a pacifist’s attempts to reform labour conditions at a corrupt mine during wartime.

“I’m boarding this run-down truck, but you’re trying to catch the train of humanism before it’s too late. I won’t stop you. You seem willing to pay the fare, no matter how high.” Considered one of the greatest film trilogies ever made, part one is an epic in its own right, weighing in at a hefty three and a half hours long. Beautiful movie, clearly an influence on Spielberg’s Schindler’s List. A young idealist becomes a corporate pimp and slave master all to avoid the draft. His indignities do not end there. Really spells out the grind of compromise and powerlessness of the individual in the face of a complicit society. The striking black and white photography turns the oppressive mining landscapes into a bleak form of graph paper, trapping the human figures in impossible sums. The arrival of the Chinese prisoners of war feels more like Romero than arthouse. My only hesitancy about this bona-fide classic is that I think the pace could pick up in the drawn out last hour. This is becoming a common complaint for me at the moment. 8 hours plus of Beatles footage that needed a stricter editor will do that for you. That Peter Jackson miniseries Get Back should have been a tight feature. Do I have epic trilogy fatigue? I’m not going to rush into the next two war films here. No binge this time. If they are as good as this, I want to savour them, not be exhausted by the unrelenting grimness. Give me that.

8

Perfect Double Bill: Schindler’s List (1993)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

James Ivory directs Anthony Hopkins, Emma Thompson and Christopher Reeves in this period drama following the life of an overly dedicated butler before and after WWII.

As unrequited romances go this makes Brief Encounter feel like Basic Instinct. The stunted restraint between Hopkins and Thompson is heartbreaking. She certainly gives her best performance. The fascist and appeasement subplots are nestled well in the mid ground making this feel more like a full fat drama rather than “just a silly little romance.” A film that is not immediately of my tastes but grows on me with each revisit.

7

Perfect Double Bill: 84 Charing Cross Road (1987)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Lucio Fulci directs Christopher George, Catriona MacColl and Janet Agren in this extreme supernatural giallo where a town becomes cursed by an ancient evil.

Fulci goes Lovecraft. There are spikes of queasiness and bonkers plotting. Blood pours from eyes, priests hang, there’s a plague of flying maggots. The stunts aren’t strung together particularly well and it runs out of steam long before the finish line.

5

Perfect Double Bill: The Beyond (1981)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

John Landis directs himself, Saul Kahan and Eliza Roberts in this low budget parody of monster movies where an ape kills everyone and then settles into Seventies’ America.

Don’t really know what I expected from this? Amatuer horror comedy from the American Werewolf in London team of Landis and Rick Baker. I guess I was expecting a spoofier or scrappier dry run of that cherished favourite. This is really one note, stretched out and patience testing. The acting is universally awful apart from the comedy blind girl. I get the feeling she was cast for her hippie era hotness rather than any comedic abilities though. Very poor. If you’ve wondered whether this is worth watching… like I have since I first read about it in the movie guides as a teenager… leave the half imagined film in your head alone. It cannot be any worse than this Schlock.

2

Perfect Double Bill: The Stuff (1985)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Nicolas Pariser directs Anaïs Demoustier, Fabrice Luchini and Nora Hamzawi in this French political film about the long standing and dedicated mayor of Lyon who engages the services of a young philosopher to revitalise his thinking.

We (and by ‘we’ I mean English speaking countries) do not really make movies like this. Literate but light, educated but entertaining. It covers politics and philosophy with a neat thread of personable humour and romance. It never descends into heavy handed satire or frothy romcom territory. And while the confidence in the viewer to care about intellectual concerns is admirable, it is only fair to say the script skips through a few too many ideas without landing meaningfully on any. The concept of modesty in politics is raised but we never really spend time absorbing the meat of the content, just the esoteric idea. Maybe that is the ultimate point? Ideas and action make unhappy bedfellows… nothing truly productive can come from ruminating in the modern age. But the pull of the story in the first hour is when the incredibly watchable Fabrice Luchini and Anaïs Demoustie tentatively engage with the conceptual over the practical. It may all add up to disappointment but this is a nice and very very French way to be underwhelmed.

6

Perfect Double Bill: The American President (1995)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

1. The Nest

2. Martin Eden

3. Judas & The Black Messiah

4. Time

5. In The Heights

6. Sound of Metal

7. Another Round

8. Lamb

9. The Last Duel

10. Encanto

11. Last Night In Soho

12. Spencer

13. C’Mon C’Mon

14. A Quiet Place Part II

15. Godzilla Vs. Kong

16. In The Earth

17. Dune: Part One

18. Summer of Soul

19. The White Tiger

20. News of the World

Bubbling Under: Copshop / The Suicide Squad / The Forever Purge / Candyman / Freaky

Still to watch: The Green Knight / Pig / Army of the Dead / Coda / Drive My Car

Old Classics to You, New Favourites for Me: Top 5 Discoveries of the Year

1. Punishment Park (1971)
2. Le Plaisir (1952)
3. The Hunt (2012)
4. Bound For Glory (1976)
5. The Sorrow and the Pity (1969)

Top 3 Most Listened To TWMWO Podcast Eps

1. Robocop 3

2. James Mason Watches Twilight: New Moon

3. Alien Hunter

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Susan Seidelman directs Rosanna Arquette, Madonna and Aidan Quinn in this comedy where a dissatisfied housewife assumes the life of a punkish free spirit after banging her head on a lamppost.

Possibly the best movie that tries rebottle the spirit, cool and energy of a pop star into a cinematic container. It helps that Madonna is the support and not the lead. She represents both Tinkerbell and Peter Pan, art punk and disco, the taste of a new generation. She flits in and out of the story but she really is there as an aspirational figure. A representation of everything Rosanna Arquette’s gorgeous drip is not but could be. But we all know, there’s only one Madonna. The movie of a child woman finding herself via the clothes of another maybe isn’t going to hold up to modern or mature interrogation. But this is for teenage girls… showing them two paths and knowing the one they are being shuffled away from is way more fun, glamorous and dangerous. The crime and romance subplots are incredibly scrappy. The whole thing relies on coincidence in a way that feels beyond parody. Then Get Into The Groove kicks in. Who cares? New York is alive. Vintage stores and grindhouse cinemas… This is all attitude. And in that respect it has aged wonderfully. A fairytale sponsored by Cheez Doodles.

8

Perfect Double Bill: Married To The Mob (1988)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Joel Coen directs Denzel Washington, Frances McDormand and Corey Hawkins in this black and white Shakespearean adaptation of the Scottish play.

A Coen Brother does Shakespeare. That’s going to be an instant five stars. Denzel plays Macbeth. That has to be a must see. Frances McDormand plays Lady Macbeth. Take! My! Money! The actual result. Perfectly alright. Strange watching a Joel Coen movie about murder which contains zero tension and minimal set pieces. The story does not flow, even if each scene bleeds into each other in a bold, playful way. You kinda watch knowing all the big lines and scenes will have their spotlight. And this spotlight is harsh. Recalling in every shot German Expressionism, Kurosawa and Welles… we watch characters trapped in the abstract, rattling around claustrophobic mazes of clean lines and deep shadows. Powdery, stark, undetailed. It looks wonderful. Every frame a painting, an infinite stage unstuck from any audience’s vantage point. Washington and McDormand are both fine, making their marks even when the text is a bit rushed and recited. Yet it is the unknowns who really steal the crown. Kathryn Hunter’s unnerving take on the witches will be difficult to forget. Her creepy broken voice seems to be playing from inside your head rather than any Dolby speaker. Alex Hassel’s unfixable Ross proves equally as supernatural and untrustworthy. And Carter Burwell was born to score a bard’s tragedy, so there’s that.

7

Perfect Double Bill: Throne Of Blood (1957)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/