Charles Gormley directs Billy Connolly, Douglas Henshall and John Murtagh in the BBC gangster film where a new C.I.D. detective and a Glasgow hard man are set on a collision course when one realises they are about to become family by marriage before the other is aware.

As well as being a really solid crime drama, one that easily transcends its made for telly roots, this has two harmonious strengths. Peter McDougall, Screen One / Play For the Day writer, has an ear for hard edged Weegie colloquialisms yet twists them into an almost Shakespearean dialogue. And Billy Connolly puts in a subdued but menacing central turn. The bank robbery during an Orange March is well plotted. The massive ensemble is sprawling yet economically utilised. The bubbling drama of corruption and ethics grips and convinces. A fine wee film made during an era when Britain wasn’t really producing genre cinema of note.

6

Check out my wife Natalie’s Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Annabel Jankel directs Anna Paquin, Holliday Grainger and Gregor Selkirk in this vintage lesbian romance where a single mum in a small Scottish village moves in with the posh doctor with a scandalous secret.

Handsomely shot and handsomely acted. Maybe a little too tasteful. I believe the term for this form of tight jumpers and high waist trouser fluff is Cottagecore. Then in the final moments we take some pretty violent and strange lurches. It isn’t meant to be a horror film or a controversial film but it tools about with some pretty spicy imagery in the tie-off. None of that feels a piece with the first hour. I’m not sure I was satisfied with any of it in-spite of a lot of goodwill towards it.

4

Check out my wife Natalie’s Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Jamie Blanks directs Jared Leto, Alicia Witt and Rebecca Gayheart in this self-aware slasher where a group of college kids are offed to sync up with gory stories shared in their urban legend seminar.

An unashamed Scream rip-off that looks just as polished but lacks the expert set-pieces and constant wit of its superior influence. Criminally wastes Joshua Jackson, Danielle Harris and Robert Englund in brief, minor roles. Leto and Witt are given gruel quality protagonist to work with (for better or worse) but Rebecca Gayheart at least brings it once her true lunatic colours are unveiled.

4

Check out my wife Natalie’s Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Kevin Smith directs Jason Mewes, himself and Harley Quinn Smith in this belated sequel to his View Askew Universe where the Quick Stop weed dealers go on yet another road trip to check in on nearly all the stalwarts of their indie comedy franchise (aside from Chris Rock and Suzanne).

Utterly unnecessary. The fact that this is an unashamed retread of the least rewatchable of Kevin Smith’s personal comedies should have rung alarm bells. A sequel to Mallrats or Dogma or Clerks II? I’m in. Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back DLC though… only if I really, really have to. Like Bill & Ted 3 this gets by on your long pent up affection for the performers and running jokes. I laughed out loud more at the blunt force crudeness here than the slightly uncertain compromises of The Wyld Stallyns. But at least Winter & Reeves had the common decency to keep their running time as close to 90 minutes as humanly possible. This sprawls out of control and very much up its own arse with a pain inducing 15 minutes of indulgent meta excess still to go. Yet the cameos from now A-Listers and retired favourites make this for the fans. The best two are the longest scenes. Jason Lee and… well… someone else. Someone else who doesn’t need to pay his dues yet rocks up and truly delivers. I doubt Reboot will ever make it into my cherished Smith DVD collection. But its at least funnier than Cop Out or Jersey Girl. Let us end it here though, yeah? Please! On possibly the best end credit sting one liner ever… a grace note to lock things up.

5

Check out my wife Natalie’s Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Kitty Green directs Julia Garner, Owen Holland and Jon Orsini in this drama where a movie executive’s assistant works her dawn until closing time day trying to ignore all the evidence of his abusive exploitation of the hopefuls who enter his office.

Not just a drab procedural examination of #metoo complicity and hyper-normalisation but just an ever so familiar recreation of the mental and physical exploitation of anyone who has worked a bottom rung job. Julia Garner delivers a tightly wound lead performance and watching her try not to crumble in the moment where she attempts to take action is truly affecting. As well structured, immersive and non-sensational as this often is, it is still a button pushing, calling card debut and its deliberateness sometimes errs on the side amateurishness. While clearly trying to tell a similar tale from the less told angle, it does miss out on the bad behaviour transgressive pleasures that Mamet, LaBute, Solondz or Swimming With Sharks delivered when they sardonically visited the power imbalance of a bullying work environment. Admirable, just not very entertaining.

6

Check out my wife Natalie’s Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Peter Hyams directs Sean Connery, Mark Harmon and Meg Ryan in this buddy cop thriller where a homicide detective must team up with the military officer who forced him out of the army so as to solve a murder on base.

Some energetic on-location chases aside, this has very little memorable or original to offer. Connery seems at half power and Meg Ryan was already destined for better things.

5

Check out my wife Natalie’s Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Steven Spielberg directs Richard Dreyfus, Holly Hunter and John Goodman in this fantasy romance where a dead pilot guides the rookie who takes his place in the cockpit… and potentially the bedroom – a remake of 1943’s A Guy Named Joe.

Possibly the most Spielbergian lit movie ever. Danish cinematographer Mikael Salomon refuses to let a shot go past without infusing it with an almost parodic homage to his employer’s trademark painterly use of light to convey wonder and emotion. Sunrise through a window, dusk as a permanent state, shade through tall trees, raging fires, ghostly glows, piercing landing lights and fog light. Beams, blasts and filters a-go-go. It looks sumptuous. The tale it is in service of is slight and whimsical but our restless wunderkind can’t help but go large whenever possible. Beyond the epic aerial firefighting sequence, there are lurches into bits of big business that belong in an action blockbuster rather than a mature romance. Buses careen out of control, planes are taken for joyrides, trucks come to life. It means quite a ponderous proposition is never allowed to be boring. Yet with a cast this primo that was never ever a risk. Dreyfus is a flinty romantic lead but that suits his warts-n-all character. The Diane Thomas script doctored interplay between him and Hunter is seductive and the right side of combative. She’s burns up the screen with a fidgety layered performance that breaks hearts and should have gotten award recognition. Goodman does a lot of the heavy lifting in terms of soul and laughs… even plot. There are swathes where you’d swear he’s the main protagonist. This is the first of many movies he’d steal. The man is Hollywood royalty in my book. Speaking of… Audrey Hepburn’s last role as an angel. She’s very frail but so playful and enigmatic. With this much high end cargo in the hold, nobody could blame the wooden Brad Johnson for not making much of a impact. The story all but gives up on him as viable third part of the romantic triangle before the last reel. Often considered a lesser and forgettable Spielberg entry, I remember loving this as a kid. And it held up well on a long delayed revisit.

7

Check out my wife Natalie’s Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Tony Scott directs Catherine Deneuve, David Bowie and Susan Sarandon in this lesbian vampire horror where an ageing specialist becomes fascinated by a pair of ancient immortals hiding out on the Upper East Side.

All calling card style and MTV excess except when it isn’t. At times The Hunger is unsettling, shocking and classically terrifying. The opening 20 minutes has to be one of the most sustained sequences of impending doom ever, owing as much to Scott’s homage to Nicolas Roeg’s unusual cross cutting as it does Duran Duran promos. The middle section is calmer, even a little draggy, but we know it is building to Deneuve and Sarandon getting it on. That scene of seduction and infection is still pretty hot. Just when you think you know where it is all going to end, there is massive lurch into prestige Grand Guignol. Fetid skin flakes, bones shatter and blood pumps. Pretty amazing stuff! “You said forever. Never ending. Do you remember?”

9

Check out my wife Natalie’s Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

The Brothers Strause direct Steven Pasquale, Reiko Aylesworth and John Ortiz in this extra-terrestrials from warring franchises crashland in a small town U.S.A. sequel.

Pathetically mean spirited. Pregnant women are pumped full of chest busters, families are torn apart in front of each other, facile characters are introduced so they can just die the next scene. You can get away with one shock like that in a Dark Horse trade paperback but an entire movie of them? Ugh! No actor really lands a memorable or human performance. The whole thing is aggressively underexposed and difficult to decipher. The Predator / Alien hybrid looks like a reject toy line that got laughed out of the focus group. The sheer amount of casual gore and glimmers of the familiar production designs from entries past stops this being a complete write-off.

3

Check out my wife Natalie’s Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Russell Crowe directs himself, Olga Kurylenko and Yılmaz Erdoğan in this Aussie WWI epic where a grieving father travels to Gallipoli to find the bodies of his three fallen sons.

A robustly old fashioned movie that manages to out sweep Spielberg and Lean at times in its immediacy and bold storytelling. Sure, certain moments are clunky, cheesy or manipulative but Crowe the director has a natural talent at establishing characters you care about using very few moves on the board. The adventure sequences feel like they are from a far more expensive film, the romance is warm and well earned, the camaraderie between previous enemies hits a jovial note surprisingly quickly and the horrors of war are lingered on long enough so that they don’t just feel like an exploitative instigating plot point. I was thoroughly impressed by this and it entertained me effortlessly.

8

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/