Once Upon a Time in Mexico (2003)

Robert Rodriguez directs Johnny Depp, Antonio Banderas and Eva Mendes in this chaotic conclusion to the El Mariachi trilogy.

This has aged poorly, I remember it being a blast in the cinema. This watch… not so much. Just too many plots and triple crosses and pointless villains. Something this scribbly is the exact opposite of the pure Leone spaghetti western vision it aspires to or the clean comic book carnage of its two predecessors. Banderas’ lead gets sidelined to support character. Depp steals the show as a gleefully detestable C.I.A. puppetmaster. Salma Hayek is fridged before start of play and only seen in flashbacks. These flashback action barneys are the only scenes that match the winning excess and verve of Desperado. Everything else is silly rather than suspenseful, talky rather than walky. Eva Mendes, Enrique Iglesias and the setting of Culiacán look hot as fuck. But any film where the lookers make more of an impact than the character actor royalty that is Willem Dafoe, Mickey Rourke or Rueben Blades is clearly being very wasteful and indulgent.

5

Check out my wife Natalie’s Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

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