Bruce Robinson directs Richard E Grant, Rachel Ward and Richard Wilson in this body horror comedy where an advertising exec begins to grow a nasty protrusion when he cannot nail a decent idea for a pimple cream.
Robinson & Grant’s lesser known follow-up to Withnail & I is a lot of scabrous fun. Not perfect cinema… it essentially is a series of monologues with nowhere to go after it plays its big body horror reveal at the midway point. But Grant is incredible in it. Jim Carrey called this one of the greatest comedy performances on film and he isn’t wrong. Unhinged, persuasive and note perfect.
Pedro Almodóvar directs Penélope Cruz, Milena Smit and Rossy de Palma in this Spanish melodrama where two very different mothers give birth at the same time and find their lives entangled.
Easily now my favourite Almodóvar. Less shrill but just as camp, colourful and sexy. The weaving soap opera story is quite emotionally granular and it has a wider political significance in a pregnant subplot about a mass grave that bookends the drama. The past cannot stay buried, some have benefited from the sins of Spanish forefathers, lies will eventually be dug up, it is the only way to move forward. Cruz is again wonderful here in a really meaty role that plays to all her strengths.
David Gordon Green directs Nicolas Cage, Tye Sheridan and Gary Poulter in this drama where a self-destructive ex-con who runs a tree poisoning crew takes on a young drifter.
Set in the backwoods of Texas and with an eye for the outrageous, Joe plays out like a serious spin-off from one of Joe R Lansdale’s caper novels. It has a clear plot – Cage’s Joe see himself in the teen who he begins to become a surrogate father to – but this is a movie that takes pleasure colouring outside the line of that particular narrative. We get whorehouse dog vendettas, car chases, incest and exploitation. The finest moments are when Green lets his camera run and just permits an improvising Cage to chat and charm the locals in his own unique manner. There’s enough excitement here to sate sophisticated action hounds, atmosphere to catch the eye of critics and authentic soul to call back to the character studies of New American Cinema.
Khyentse Norbu directs Orgyen Tobgyal, Jamyang Lodro and Lama Chonjor in this Tibetan language movie about some young refugee monks desperate to watch the World Cup on telly.
Second time watching this sweet little movie. It is a real charmer. I’m a big fan of foreign films that are mini-quests. This one hits all the correct notes. And I’m not even a football guy…
Dean Craig directs Toni Collette, Anna Faris and Kathleen Turner in this farce comedy about two sisters who try to get back in the good graces of their estranged aunt before she passes to inherit some of her fortune.
Solid premise, absolutely stacked cast, foul mouthed dialogue. Why doesn’t this work? It is just listless and feels like someone tried to write a Kevin Smith script with none of the heart or personality. Tone deaf, dated. An utter waste of the ensemble in front of the camera.
Art Stevens, Ted Berman and Richard Rich direct Mickey Rooney, Kurt Russell and Pearl Bailey in this Walt Disney animated classic about a hunting dog and domesticated fox who become childhood friends.
I’m almost certain this was the first Disney cartoon I saw in its entirety. It is a pretty wet affair with no noticeable concessions for adults and little wonder to its animation or songs.
Claude Chabrol directs Isabelle Huppert, Sandrine Bonnaire and Jacqueline Bisset in this French thriller where a maid starts an intense friendship with the local post office mistress, a person whom her employers object to.
Dorky haircuts. Lonely women acting like rebellious teens. Eat the rich. This chiller based on a Ruth Rendell novel is slow burn. The outcome feels inevitable. Yet Chabrol’s non-judgmental approach to the material means you might side more with the eventual killers than the ostensible victims. Huppert is never less than enthralling.
I’ve been laid low by a nasty chest infection for most of the month. Seemed like an excellent time to hunker under the quilt on the couch and catch up on some sword and sorcery, escape into some realms of magic and fantasy.
The Black Cauldron (1985)
Ted Berman and Richard Rich direct Grant Bardsley, Susan Sheridan and Freddie Jones in this Walt Disney animated adventure where a keeper of a psychic pig takes on the evil Horned King in his search for necromancy cauldron.
A real outlier in the Mousehouse back catalogue. 15 years in the making it was produced to little profit when the studio was going through massive upheavals. It’s reputation is similar to Return To Oz. Too dark for the family market. The difference is Return To Oz is a thoroughly made, superb piece of fantasy cinema. This proves, at best, to be inconsistent. The nightmare, action elements are good. Especially the imposing evil villain. Some of the backgrounds are breathtaking. But none of the character design marries up together. The story jerks along sluggishly. The heroes are vanilla melts that no kid nor adult could find any texture to relate with. A brave attempt to make a Disney Lord Of the Rings but the end results are clearly the work of too many cooks, none of whom could remember the recipe. Too often The Black Cauldron is the wettest, dullest entry so far. Only comes to life when it is too scary for its target audience.
5
The Dark Crystal (1982)
Jim Henson and Frank Oz direct Stephen Garlick, Lisa Maxwell and Billie Whitelaw in this puppet populated adventure set in ancient world.
Bored me as a young kid, bored me as a late teenager and now as an open minded adult, The Dark Crystal still struggled to hold my attention. Just dreary, slow and not my cup of tea. I’m pretty sure this is the first time I’ve managed to complete the whole thing in one sitting… it is 93 minutes loooong. I understand its achievements but beyond the unique technicalities nothing much happens at a deadly pace.
3
The Princess Bride (1987)
Rob Reiner directs Robin Wright, Cary Elwes and Mandy Patinkin in this fairy tale adventure where a long lost lover rescues a betrothed heroine.
Somehow meta yet sincere. The most lo-fi in terms of FX in this mini-session. And easily the most magical. As a kid I always knew this as the Andre The Giant movie?! The Princess Bride’s reputation has ballooned over past three decades both in my own head and the general public’s affections. The wit of the script, the subtle performances of the actors in what could be blunt, stock roles and the romantic sweep of the location work make it iconic. It is an experience where the charms are soft and gentle but the overall effect is near perfect. And then Billy Crystal and Carol Kane blunder in late in the day and somehow steal the show… “INCONCEIVABLE!”
9
Shazam!: Fury Of the Gods (2023)
David F. Sandberg directs Zachary Levi, Jack Dylan Grazer and Helen Mirren in the DC sequel to the kids gain superhero alter egos comic book fantasy.
The weak runt of a DC Extended Universe. We already know this wish-fulfilment world is being mothballed, making this entry essentially redundant. But taken as a family adventure movie in its own right – it works. Sandberg has logged which actors and elements popped in the first entry and upped their screentime. The humour never undermines the peril, the scale feels workable. The Greek mythology monsters brought to life in the third act are nicely horror tinged. Younger up-and-comers Jack Dylan Grazer, Rachel Zegler and Meagan Good are appealing and have clean comedy timing. The blatant product placement kinda feels old school charming. It has everything I want from a throwaway blockbuster. There are far worse dying breaths from franchise attempts out there. Hopefully this finds a bit of a cult following on streaming. A minor pleasure.
7
Jumanji (1996)
Joe Johnston directs Robin Williams, Kirsten Dunst and Bonnie Hunt in this fantasy adventure where some kids get trapped playing a deadly cursed board game that won’t stop spewing out carnage until it is won.
Another one that I kind of bypassed as a teenager but seem to have somehow watched all of in spits and spats over the decades anyway. It was better than I expected, in that Jumanji keeps the threat level going right up to the end and the humour doesn’t solely rely Williams ad libbing his little toes off. The CGI is very creaky in places and it is hard to now fully embrace a children’s flick that ultimately meant nothing to you as a kid.
6
Dungeons & Dragons : Honor Among Thieves (2023)
Jonathan Goldstein and John Francis Daley direct Chris Pine, Michelle Rodriguez and Hugh Grant in this swords and sorcery adventure based on the popular role playing game.
Plays out very much like a Guardians Of The Galaxy in leather jerkins… only with battle axes, spells and labyrinths. With also a little Ocean’s Eleven thrown in for good luck. I really lapped this up… even though I could see some flaws (Sophie Lillis’ part is shockingly underwritten, not all the potent set-pieces last much longer than a glimpse of a clever writer’s room idea). I think on rewatch this might grow on me to be more of a favourite, the topped billed are that appealing. But I’ll score it the same as Shazam 2 as it hit the same multiplex chords within me and it would be unfair to elevate one just as the ensemble is that bit more familiar.
Alexander Payne directs Matthew Broderick, Reese Witherspoon and Chris Klein in this high school sex comedy about a rigged popularity election.
Perhaps the greatest satire Hollywood ever made came from MTV Studios and features loads of crude gags. I mean we are talking a fair few levels above American Pie but there are still a plethora of dick and boobies jokes. The script is razor sharp, the direction unfussy but full of impact. One of the best examples of cross voiceover narration ever achieved. Matthew Broderick gets his first great adult role as the teacher in a reverse Ferris Bueller situation. This time he’s the Mister Rooney… having his life upended as he obsessively refuses to let a determined kid get away with it. He’s initially presented as decent, hard working and sympathetic which makes every sad sack facet of his fall and corruption even more delicious. Meanwhile, Witherspoon’s iconic Tracy Flick is an out-and-out monster in conservative clothing from the off. The high school milieu seems pretty authentic and Payne has a casting coup in his choosing of amateur Jessica Campbell. She rocks as the outsider candidate, the one true relatable human within all the scandals and back stabbing. Raunchy, clever and colourful – this is a highly rewatchable comedy which knows the difference between ethics and morality.
Ben Affleck directs Matt Damon, himself and Viola Davis in this corporate drama based on the true story of Nike’s unlikely attempt to build a basketball shoe brand around one reticent but promising rookie player.
Very much in the Aaron Sorkin / Cameron Crowe mode of intelligent people talking, arguing, persuading and selling. Every scene feels integral but have enough quirky, unpredictable treasure lurking within to switch your expectations around. It really works – buzzing with lots of people working at cross purposes to reach a common goal. And is genuinely, every scene lands a laugh, silly. Especially Affleck’s slyly self abasing take on Nike head honcho Phil Knight. This is a movie where the undercut is king. Damon gets his juiciest role in years – the morons who still equate him with Team America memes might struggle to see him out Pacino Al himself in two Five Star monologues. And Viola Davis adds real inflection and purpose to her big pages. These are the kinda acting turns Oscar voters should remember in 11 months time. A perfect ensemble in a very funny film that manages to convert business deals into personal triumph, show how there is creativity, victory and greatness in both the mundane and the grind. Keeping Michael Jordan himself a kinda spectre on the periphery works beautifully. The soundtrack is era appropriate banger after banger. One of the best comedies in years. Joyously middle aged.
Bobby Carroll's Movie Diary 