David Gordon Green directs Leslie Odom Jr., Ann Dowd and Ellen Burstyn in this legacy horror sequel to the Seventies demonic possession phenomenon.

The career of David Gordon Green initially seems baffling. He started out as an independent Terrence Malick acolyte. Then he took studio cash and directed some slick bro comedies. And, a few diversions along the way accepted, now seems happy resurrecting tired 1970s horror brands with attempts at bringing back the original cast and tone. He is less an auteur than a serious pastiche artist. His recreations of Malick, Carpenter and now Friedkin are obvious to spot but he’s also had a fair crack at replicating the visual dialect of Michael Ritchie, Hal Ashby and Martin Brest over his varied career as a forger. In the first half of Exorcist: Believer he does a pretty convincing job of cloning Friedkin. We get an intense global trauma introduction and an increasingly frantic procedural when the soon-to-be-possessed kids go missing. DGG knows how to turn the same crank as Bill Friedkin, he just doesn’t understand the mechanics of how this carnival ride works. The original created hysteria from a true sense of hopelessness… and from a matter of fact world being torn apart… and the lost constant that just about everyone watching them had a shared belief system that was warped into grotesque terror. Here the scares and the existential assault just never arrive. There is some stuff to be read into the three times various characters have to make difficult choices about a child’s life… there is something about abortion here that needs to be unpacked. Yet on the whole it is a flick of false saviours (a cameo for cash Burstyn, a red herring rookie priest who clearly can’t hold a candle to Karras or Merrin) and soft get outs. Are you telling me a single father whose teen daughter goes through all that in the public eye wouldn’t have social services down on him like a ton of bricks by day three… or even after? Unbelievable.

5

Perfect Double Bill: The Pope’s Exorcist (2023)

I write regular features about live comedy for British Comedy Guide here https://www.comedy.co.uk/people/bobby_carroll/features/

Nahnatchka Khan directs Kiernan Shipka, Olivia Holt and Julie Bowen in this Back To The Future Meets Scream Meets Heathers Meets Happy Death Day mash-up.

A homage to oh so many better movies that it risks redundancy. It certainly feels like it never finds a horror or a comedy or a mystery hook of its own in the first hour as it sets up too much plot when we are instantly on board with the concept. The last set piece has its moments but then it noses the landing. Shame. Passable but a shame.

4

Perfect Double Bill: The Final Girls (2015)

My wife and I do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Sam Wrench directs Taylor Swift, Paul Sidoti and Karen Chuang in this concert movie covering every album in T-Swift’s 17 year career.

As a casual fan I could have probably done without the deep dives into Folklore and especially Evermore. Keep it poppy and under three hours is my only real note. As a cynical middle aged male I’m surprised I chuckled only a few times at crowd inserts of weepy fans going full meltdown just at being there. Apart from that… truly spectacular. The camerawork in the first 10 minutes is flawless, the clarity of it puts most live action blockbusters of this decade to shame. The staging and lightshow is on another level! Giant Taylors tower over regular sized Taylor like kaiju. I absolutely appreciate why I could never afford to see a production like this live. There’s no sadness or bitterness there… Speaking of which, I would have loved it if the album order was chronological just so we can see Swift mature and become increasingly acidic and paranoid and defiant in her songwriting. She is a stunning creative. The show can’t hide the fact she isn’t a Madonna or even a Kylie in terms of her dance abilities but there’s plenty of strutting, shimmying and swan-like arm motions to keep us going. The quick change costume tricks are like a magic show… the sequin budget must be second only to the electricity bill. Glad I saw this on the big screen. Cemented just how many of Swift’s hit have drilled themselves into my head.

7

Perfect Double Bill: Miss Americana (2020)

I write regular features about live comedy for British Comedy Guide here https://www.comedy.co.uk/people/bobby_carroll/features/

Rod Daniels directs Joe Pesci, Vincent Gardenia and Madolyn Smith in this comedy where a slum landlord is sentenced to live in one of his buildings until all complaints are resolved.

This doesn’t work… on many levels. Motormouth wit Pesci should fly in such a situation but the part was clearly written for a younger actor. The whole project feels pretty cookie cutter, even for obvious programme filler back in the early Nineties. I reckon it easily made up any losses and a clear profit the moment it hit VHS. But nearly all the dialogue is looped in after the fact. Jokes added in months after the shoot to try and find laughs. Nora Ephron was a script doctor. Yet trying to find the funny in post production just creates an airless cacophony. The one genuinely laugh out loud joke lands just as the credits roll. Otherwise the movie only hits a stride when MC Hammer and C+C Music Factory takeover the speakers. A shame – as the based on a true story concept should have had legs.

3

Perfect Double Bill: Life Stinks (1991)

My wife and I do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Jeff Rowe directs Jackie Chan, Ice Cube and Seth Rogen in this animated reboot of the popular independent comic book sensation from my childhood.

A highpoint in the heroes in a half-shell’s various incarnations. I love the clunky, scribbly, icky animation that looks as much handrawn and stop-motion as digital. The voice cast is stacked with names I care about, but the kids voicing the turtles and April absolutely nail it. Whoever’s idea it was to have the ensemble share a recording booth deserves a medal. The plot and tone owes an obvious debt to the recent Spider-Verse flicks… and it would be fair to say this doesn’t go anywhere as deep or complex or multidimensional as those outliers. But Mutant Mayhem is a family flick with enough stuff to satisfying any open minded generation who buys a ticket. This is a fad franchise that I personally put to bed around 1992 so the fact this drew me in and kept me entertained (beyond nostalgia) over 30 years later is a testament to its cool qualities.

6

Perfect Double Bill: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)

I write regular features about live comedy for British Comedy Guide here https://www.comedy.co.uk/people/bobby_carroll/features/

Mark Jones directs Warwick Davis, Jennifer Aniston and Ken Olandt in this comedy horror where a trapped leprechaun is released and will murder anyone who has pocketed his gold.

Nobody’s finest hour. Cheap and uneven. Davis’ grotesque make-up is pretty impressive. His murderous bon mots less so. At least he delivers them with full gusto. Some nostalgic product placement for brands that no longer exist. I’m clutching at straws really.

3

Perfect Double Bill: Invaders From Mars (1985)

My wife and I do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Christophe Gans directs Samuel Le Bihan, Mark Dacascos and Vincent Cassel in this period martial arts horror mystery about a botanist and his Native American partner who travel to the French countryside to catch the possible werewolf terrorising all the fair maidens.

Handsome outdoors setting and 18th century costumes. Elongated hand-to-hand combat set pieces. Matrix inspired editing and FX. Some nice Hammer style monster stalk sequences. A protracted conspiracy. A movie that tries to just about be everything… succeeds… and then exhaustingly spins its wheels in the last hour. If this were a mere 90 minute blast it’d probably be the greatest film ever. Monica Bellucci as a secret agent hiding out in a bordello and the sweet posh totty Émilie Dequenne cover over a lot of cracks.

6

Perfect Double Bill: The Monk (2011)

I write regular features about live comedy for British Comedy Guide here https://www.comedy.co.uk/people/bobby_carroll/features/

Celine Song direct Greta Lee, Teo Yoo and John Magaro in this romance about two Korean school friends who separate when one emigrates to America only to gradually reencounter each other as social media becomes… a thing.

Pitched as this generation’s Before Sunrise, Past Lives is sweet, intelligent, well acted and faultlessly made. Personally I found it a little too ponderous and inert… but I can see why it has won so many over. I think I might have been the only swinging dick not crying in the multiplex when it concluded.

6

Perfect Double Bill: The Social Network (2010)

My wife and I do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Alek Keshishian directs Madonna, Oliver Crumes Jr and Warren Beatty in this behind-the-scenes documentary of the pop icon’s global Blonde Ambition tour.

Also known as Truth Or Dare. Also known as the project that very nearly was David Fincher’s directorial debut in features. Also known as the highest grossing documentary of the 20th century. And it is a lark. Glossy, naughty, candid and forced. The staged moments are overdone and stretch things out. The stage performances are epic. The music was always going to be the power. The LGBT representation was revolutionary. The celebrity moments awkward as fuck. And the two hour long peep at Madonna the legend in her prime is heartwarming. Yeah, she has a warped idea of the world… and even her world… but she feels less filtered and parodic than Michael Jackson or Elton John or Prince did at this point. There’s a reason why this documentary struck a cord with a generation… as nutty as Madonna’s life is and as silly as some of her on-camera decisions are, she remains human and likeable. The Pedro Almodóvar party where she hunts for the hot but married Antonio Banderas is pure icky farce and worth the admission price alone. “Neat.”

6

Perfect Double Bill: Evita (1996)

I write regular features about live comedy for British Comedy Guide here https://www.comedy.co.uk/people/bobby_carroll/features/

George Stevens directs Alan Ladd, Jean Arthur and Jack Palance in this classic western.

A pure western. What makes Shane fascinating is also its only flaw. A blatant flaw but also the point of the project. Christ, that kid is annoying. And I know the movie is from his immature perspective. He idolises the gun slinging drifter rather than his equally heroic father. Can’t notice that Shane is suffering from PTSD, can’t even notice when his hero’s way of the gun ends with him dying. Palance’s villain is terrifying in this. Great location shoot. The muddy streets of the small makeshift town predict the revisionist western by at least 15 years. Shane has the genre goods but it is how everything Steven’s does is a little more cautious, begrudging that makes it stand the test of time. The shaking noise of that first, delayed gunshot. Makes you sit bolt upright.

8

Perfect Double Bill: Broken Arrow (1950)

My wife and I do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/