Philip Noyce directs Nicole Kidman, Sam Neill and Billy Zane in this three-hander thriller where a yachting couple almost instantly regret picking up a castaway from a sinking ship.

One of the most beautiful films ever made is also one of the most gleefully intense. Mad Max 2’s cinematographer Dean Semler captures the glory of the ocean – whether choppy, stormy, placid, on fire or completely deserted. You get every variation and each is more brooding yet magnificent than the next. There are three very different acting style from the leads which somehow gels and amps up the unpredictable dynamics. The movie picks away at two nightmares simultaneously; what if you were alone and stuck in close proximity to a psycho and what would you do if trapped on a sinking ship. Then there’s the ahead of its time midway switcheroo. The traditional male hero, Neill, though resourceful and striving, goes from being the man of action to needing urgent help himself. Kidman ups her agency when she is left with no one else to deal with her Billy Zane problems and a tight clock to get back to her doomed hubby. Graeme Revell’s score is all desperate breaths, ghostly wails and relentless percussion. And there’s a top final kill. A lot of people would put this on the yuppie in peril shelf but the lead couple are too fixed on reuniting and banishing evil for us to ever enjoy seeing them put through such a crushing wringer. Perfect.

10

Perfect Double Bill: Knife In The Water (1962)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Denzel Washington directs Michael B. Jordan, Chanté Adams and Robert Wisdom in the romantic drama where a single mother relates to her son how she met and fell in love with his soldier father.

The fine performances, great looks and casual chemistry between Jordan and Adams get this over the finish line. It can be way too stodgy, corny, conservative and flat. Often simultaneously. Denzel is directing the actors, that is his focus and strength… but his visual toolbox is barren and he rarely varies from a blunt medium range shot throughout. Hard to believe he made so many movies in collaboration with Spike Lee and Tony Scott. Yet when was the last time you went to see a weepie with such attractive leads? These movies aren’t meant to be art, this certainly isn’t, but it hits the spot.

6

Perfect Double Bill: The Notebook (2004)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Tony Scott directs Denzel Washington, Paula Patton and Val Kilmer in this sci-fi thriller where an ATF agent uses time bending technology to investigate a ferry bombing.

Peak post 9/11 cinema. We rewind, pause and reprocess a terrorist attack over and over again – trying to make sense of the tragedy but slowly numbing ourselves to the human cost. Three separate mini movies springing from the same incident. First act: traditional investigation with obscure clues and maverick detective smarter than the brass in charge. I’d watch that movie play out straight if Denzel stayed on his fine, committed form. Second act – Minority Report in the modern day. Tech nerds switch angles and zoom in on details from the past, using an all seeing but constantly moving forward MacGuffin. Only Denzel can unpick the clues and keep up with the strict four days in the past limitations on the big screen. Third act: we misuse the tech and go time travelling. After all there’s a hot woman to save and Denzel can’t stand about while geeks explain wormholes to him for another hour. The problem is every time we jump onto a new plot approach what works about Déjà Vu becomes diluted. Still a disposable Saturday night watch even if the talent and ambition does not match the end product.

6

Perfect Double Bill: Out of Time (2003)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Peter Bogdanovich directs Ryan O’Neal, Burt Reynolds and Tatum O’Neal in this comedy about the pre-studio days of silent movie making, following the fortunes of a lawyer turned director and a cowboy turned stuntman.

Ryan O’Neal ain’t no Harold Lloyd and he certainly isn’t Buster Keaton. Bogdanovich’s attempt to imbue his blank with a personality here is to get him to recreate some of the legends’ smaller pratfalls in the first reel. Otherwise this is a movie that hinges on the tenet that the director should always be sleeping with a leading lady. A cold mess. A tribute to the cowboy days of the silent movie business that has all the slap of a slumbering over confident white man on the dance floor. Hard to think what anyone thought they were giving audiences here. Tatum O’Neal is the best thing in it as a deadpan child in dustbowl drag. But we’ve seen even that trick before.

3

Perfect Double Bill: Chaplin (1992)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Christian Petzold directs Julia Hummer, Barbara Auer and Richy Müller in this German drama about a family – long on the run after a decade old terrorist action – who struggle to maintain their cover once their teen daughter starts quietly rebelling.

Nice little mix of coming of age drama and thriller. Neither genre dominates the mood. Very relaxed but none the poorer for it. The softly spoken lead girl is particularly good.

7

Perfect Double Bill: Running On Empty (1988)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Clare Beavan directs Joan Collins, Anthony Newley and Maxwell Reed in the celebration of the B-movie and soap star narrated by the subject herself.

A puff piece. Glamorous but uninsightful. The recent and not much better Jackie Collins doc at least covers both sisters with a slither more integrity.

4

Perfect Double Bill: Lady Boss: The Jackie Collins Story (2021)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Tim Burton directs Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter and Alan Rickman in this horror musical about a vengeance fuelled barber who returns to London with only murder on his mind and access to a pie shop to handily dispose his bodies in.

“There’s a hole in the world like a great black pit, And the vermin of the world inhabit it, And its morals aren’t worth what a pig could spit, And it goes by the name of London.” What a joy this is… at times! Includes all my favourite post-Sleepy Hollow Tim Burton moments. The Pretty Women duet is a glorious 5 star number – it gives me tingles. Helena Bonham Carter’s By The Sea fantasy oscillates between jolly celebration and grumpy self parody of Tim Burton’s long established and unwavering house style. The usually bloodless director handles the Grand Guignol violence orgiastically. Paint red sprays, sluices and drip in big delicious and malicious globlules. As an actual musical, it is a tad too trapped and minor. The plot moves at a snail’s pace and hits a standstill too often, then it just ends on a clunk, with a few character threads untied. It almost gives up. So a wobbly experience overall but I utterly love me some of those scenes. And I’m struggling to think of a better Depp performance since Curse Of the Black Pearl. He’s all internal and malevolent and single minded. You can’t think of anyone else who could play this role. Which is the best kind of star vehicle. Writing this review makes me want to watch it again right now despite its glaring structural issues.

8

Perfect Double Bill: Little Shop of Horrors (1986)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Fran Rubel Kuzui directs Kristy Swanson, Donald Sutherland and Paul Reubens in this teen horror comedy where a mallrat cheerleader discovers she is “the chosen one” – a super powered defender against a scourge of vampires.

Colourful and throwaway. It is difficult to see how this formed the basis of one of the finest TV shows ever but at least Swanson and Reubens give it their all. Works better as a Bill & Ted rip-off than a prototype.

5

Perfect Double Bill: The Monster Squad (1987)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Mervyn LeRoy directs Nancy Kelly, Patty McCormack and Henry Jones in this psychological thriller where a mother begins to suspect her angelic daughter of murder.

Dated and unimaginative filming of a stage play. Some of the reams of cod psychology spouted off resemble that penultimate scene in Psycho on a loop. The acting styles are all over the shop, ranging from shouting ham to mannered mania. The sickly sweet killer kid is at least deployed well but this only really works now as a camp artefact.

4

Perfect Double Bill: Orphan (2009)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Reginald Hudlin directs Samuel L. Jackson, Damon Wayans and Jeff Goldblum in this boxing satire where a promoter and a journalist conspire to create a white heavyweight contender.

Tediously unfunny sports comedy. Samuel L. Jackson puts in full effort as the Don King pastiche but the punchlines just aren’t there. Scenes run aimlessly past their poorly elaborated point. The butchered script tries to aim for an Elmore Leoonard ensemble caper mode but isn’t even in the same weight division. Can’t believe I’ve watched this twice.

3

Perfect Double Bill: Midnight Sting (1992)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/