Children of a Lesser God (1986)

Randa Haines directs William Hurt, Marlee Matlin and Philip Bosco in this adaptation of the Tony Award winning play where a speech therapist at a deaf school and a Deaf cleaner start a tempestuous romance.

Marlee Matlin’s Oscar winning performance is still outstanding but the movie it is submerged within is very much “of its time”. People think the worse excesses of the Eighties are crimped hair or synth music, but for me it is narratives like these where issues of “otherness” can be solved by the right over confident posh honky rocking up for a few weeks. For example – why is all of the signed dialogue interpreted aloud by Hurt’s right-on horn dog? It means all the views and declarations of the Deaf characters are filtered through the mouth of a hearing WASP. Ick! If you can move past the dated attitudes (this really should be a story told mainly from the Sarah character’s perspective) then there are good scenes and occasional spikes in heat and grit that interrupt the formula.

6

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

The Man Without A Face (1993)

Mel Gibson directs Nick Stahl, himself and Margaret Whitton in this coming of age drama where a troubled boy spends his summer being tutored by the town outcast, a mysterious man whose face and body have been scarred beyond repair.

Now I’ve no doubt that Dead Poets Society is empirically the finer production, but I always had a soft spot for this similar story from since I was a kid. Mel stretches himself acting (probably his best dramatic performance) and tries the director’s chair out for the first time. He has proven a dab hand behind the camera ever since – with all his oeuvre sharing a melodramatic tone, a taste for body horror violence and a rebellious humanity that few other modern directors seem interested in. If your very worst film is the all out experiential assault of The Passion then you are a pretty consistent, noteworthy auteur in my opinion. Here’s a movie that never allows its inherent schmaltz enough room to overtake the fine acting and production values, always going for the tougher narrative decisions and therefore yielding some pretty impressive, psychologically astute moments in the heartbreaking last act. Well worth hunting down if you missed out on it back in the day.

8

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

The 7th Voyage of Sinbad (1958)

Nathan H. Juran directs Kerwin Mathews, Torin Thatcher and Kathryn Crosby in this fantasy adventure where the heroic sailor must take on an island of fantasy monsters to return his cursed shrunken princess fiancée to regular size.

The acting is awfully wooden and the whitewashed casting of characters of colour absolutely damning… but nobody is watching for these aspects. You’ve come for Ray Harryhausen’s “DYNAMATION” creations and this delivers them boys and girls in spades. The double headed Roc bird, early versions of the swashbuckling skeleton and blue snake lady, a cyclops fights a dragon. Even the non-stop motion FX tricks gift us a sexy thumb sized princess, seafaring peril and an annoying baby faced genie. I must have watched this so many times as a child that its vision is hardwired into my soul. The framing plot and characterisation is hokey and problematic but the gems of fantasy embedded within it are priceless, treasures beyond measure. A Bernard Hermann score only adds further shine and sparkle to the adventure.

7

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Bully (2001)

Larry Clark directs Brad Renfro, Rachel Miner and Nick Stahl in this teen true crime story where a group of hapless Florida teens, some of whom barely know their target, conspire to kill the local bully.

If you can move past the sheer amount of just legal nudity that marinates a Larry Clark joint (and some people enjoy that blasé pornography of his movies) then this is a strong teen drama that is in good company with River’s Edge and Mean Creek. The acting is naturalistic and pretty brave, nobody courts our sympathy excessively, with Miner and a spaced out, unguarded Michael Pitt really impressing. And for a movie that is hardwired to visually exploit its young casts’ flesh and bodies, the murder itself and the aftermath is carried out with a chilling lack of sensationalism. Everyone involved whether giddily enthused or uncommitted to the violence during its lengthy and amateur planning is brought crashing into reality. What seemed as indifferent and wasteful a pastime as going to Pizza Hut, playing Mortal Kombat or driving around on acid becomes a shocking wake up call once the loss of life kicks in. Clark revels in an amoral world but he doesn’t deny these youths the chance to realise their callous, feckless lifestyles have equally over the top consequences.

6

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Movie of the Week: Sound of Metal (2020)

Darius Marder directs Riz Ahmed, Olivia Cooke and Paul Raci in this drama following a drummer who loses his hearing.

Yeah… everyone stating that good drama and mature stories are only told on premium TV these days should wind their neck in. Showcasing a superb central performance by Ahmed and a world and experience both alien yet convincing, Sound of Metal rocks pretty hard. There are three scenes in quick succession that occur when most movies would be gearing up for their happy ending that are absolutely devastating.

8

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Nobody (2021)

Ilya Naishuller directs Bob Odenkirk, Aleksey Serebryakov and Christopher Lloyd in this action movie where a seemingly sad sack suburban man has his violent past reawakened by a burglary.

Around the early Nineties, Hollywood began experimenting by casting actors known for their talent rather than their testosterone in mid-budget action fare. Meryl Streep rode The River Wild, Jeff Bridges was Blown Away… Keanu Reeves, Liam Neeson and Charize Theron proved such capable alternatives to your JCVDs and Segals that they are now more known for their fighting and running work than their dramatic achievements. Pretty much every established name now gets their shot to be Arnie. Why not Better Call Saul’s brilliant Bob Odenkirk? Following the John Wick model (writer Derek Kolstad wrote both scripts) this has the same emphasis on highly choreographed mayhem and violence, criminal underworlds with a sense of mythological pomposity, anti-heroes forced to give up the camouflage of self imposed tameness. Endless streams of Russian mafia goons die in set pieces that mimic The Equalizer, The Dark Knight and bizarrely Home Alone. It has a 15 rating but feels hardcore. Some of the gore is so full on that you do wonder what extremes a mainstream release has to go to get an 18 certificate these days? And once it gets going (which admittedly takes a while) everyone seemingly has a lot of infectious fun being unlikely wraiths. Especially Russian actor Aleksey Serebryakov who somehow matches both Odenkirk and Lloyd in the charismatic quirk stakes. Though nothing particularly special, Nobody is a hard film to not enjoy and if its sole mission was to verify Odenkirk’s big screen credentials… then mission very much accomplished!

7

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

A Quiet Place Part II (2021)

John Krasinski directs Emily Blunt, Millicent Simmonds and Cillian Murphy in this sequel to the post-apocalyptic sci-fi horror where a family continues to survive in a world terrorised by aliens who hunt any audible sound.

As classy and as gripping as the first one, with more patience to rinse each set-up for maximum tension. Krasinski wears his influences on his sleeve proudly (Spielberg, King, J.J. Abrams) and delivers a continuation that expands and bolsters the original. Deaf teen actress Simmonds proves again what a fine lead she is, the likes of Murphy, Djimon Hounsou and an unrecognisable Scoot McNairy always add value to franchise fare. Conversely Noah Jupe’s highly slappable kid brother is a continually frustrating liability and true star Emily Blunt ends up with a smidge less screentime than the poster suggests. The monsters, however, never disappoint.

8

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Youth Without Youth (2007)

Francis Ford Coppola directs Tim Roth, Bruno Ganz and Alexandra Maria Lara in this philosophical fantasy where an elderly academic is reborn as a young(-ish) man in wartime Europe and… eventually… starts a relationship with a woman regressing through past lives.

Someone whose soul travels through time, out of sync and off pace with the deterioration of their body. Coppola returns to this theme in Peggy Sue Got Married, Bram Stoker’s Dracula and Jack. Both The Outsiders and Twixt exist within a narrative time loop where the opening shots mouth snakes around to swallow the tale of the ending. The Conversation is a meta narrative of a man who captures a moment in time and obsesses and re-edits it to the point where it loses all meaning and reality. It is fair to say temporal matters mean a lot to FFC. Not that he makes much more than an overly earnest, pretentious hash here of his theme. My God, this is a boring movie. There’s rarely a shot or visual choice that doesn’t take you out of the film and question the intention behind it. A lot of the interiors are fudged as Coppola has filmed them at his vineyard using obvious green screen. The lifeless digital compositions reminded me of Fassbinder’s endless Berlin Alexanderplatz. Set in the same period and locale and with a similar sense of bludgeoning artificiality. At least this has the good grace to last less than two hours. The acting is also all very Brechtian. Roth is solid, coming alive in the scenes where he performs opposite discordant mirror images of himself. The performers that orbit him though are flat, obtuse puzzle pieces, shuffled around but never forming a complete picture. It is a head scratcher with no workable solution. Makes you wish the Movie Brat wunderkind had just carried on with gun-for-hire work for the studios… or retired. One final thought on that… Spielberg, De Palma, Marty, George Lucas and Francis all used to watch each other’s latest movies in rough cuts and give notes… so which Francis Ford Coppola project did this tradition end on? I wonder was it Captain EO, Jack or this?

3

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Born in Flames (1983)

Lizzie Borden directs Honey, Adele Bertei and Florynce Kennedy in this independent feminist sci-fi film where a group of women rebel against the quiet revolution that oppresses them in future New York.

Cobbled together from whatever off cuts, one takes, stock footage and random home movies Borden got her hands on, I’m genuinely going to struggle to find many positive to note here. It reminded me of the outsider techniques and restrictions of Edward D Wood Jnr. Whereas Wood wanted to entertain with unchecked ambition and wayward quality control, this wants to regurgitate didactic politics at you. It can feel near incomprehensible at times… when it ends abruptly on a bang, you do wonder whether a bit more focus might have at least made us care how we got there. This patchwork agit prop belongs in a museum where you can at least walk off to the next exhibit once you realise its a work of threadbare incoherence.

3

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Morvern Callar (2002)

Lynne Ramsay directs Samantha Morton, Kathleen McDermott and Raife Patrick Burchell in this Scottish drama where a quiet shelf stacker steals her dead boyfriend’s novel and savings and goes to Ibiza.

Bored me to tears when it came out. Watched now, late night, with lowered expectations, I can see what a sensual experience it is. But it is also a middle class wallow in working class limitations and inappetence. Morton’s performance remains enigmatic throughout – like the alien in Under The Skin or prisoner in A Prophet you are never really sure what she is feeling, thinking or planning…

5

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/