Bobby Carroll's Movie Diary

Jay Chandrasekhar directs himself and the rest of the Broken Lizard troupe, Jürgen Prochnow, and Cloris Leachman in this comedy where a group of Americans practice to represent their country in an underground Munich beer downing contest.

Laughed loads during this – it is very frat boy-ish but that’s not the stuff that lands. It nearly matches the hit rate of Super Troopers but the opening act features only the two boring expendable members for an extended length of time and the finale outstays its welcome. What happens to Kevin Heffernan’s Landfill character at the midway point makes up for any structural quibbles though.

7

Perfect Double Bill: Old School (2003)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Sergio Corbucci directs Jean-Louis Trintignant, Klaus Kinski and Vonetta McGee in this spaghetti western where a silent avenger hunts down some nasty bounty hunters who are killing off outlaws before an amnesty ends their cruel profession.

Bleak, snowy western. Full of risky surprises. The cast is pretty striking, though only Frank Wolff’s jovial sheriff really gets to do any acting. Possibly the best of its cycle not directed by Leone. An obvious influence on Tarantino’s The Hateful Eight. Was banned in the UK and buried in the US for over twenty years.

9

Perfect Double Bill: Django (1966)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Patrice Leconte directs Charles Berling, Jean Rochefort and Fanny Ardant in this French costume drama where acceptance into the court of Louis XVI is based on one’s ability to wittily insult one’s company.

Lush and funny, cruel yet sexy. This is a brilliant slice of French cinema. The period detail is immaculate. The pull between decadence and progress has never been better essayed. Like any US high school movie this is essentially about giving up your soul to fit in with the “in” crowd, though a lot more horny and urgent. Occasionally the French bon mots that motor the plotting are a little lost in translation but Judith Godrèche’s spectacular heaving cleavage is on hand to keep us entertained. Fanny Ardant has never been better as the manipulative widow who offers patronage to only the sexiest wits.

9

Perfect Double Bill: Return Of the Hero (2018)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Jared Hess directs Zach Galifianakis, Owen Wilson and Kristen Wiig in this true story turned zany comedy about a multi-million dollar security van heist, an inside job pulled off by idiots.

Imagine no jokes run into the ground. Very talented cast here, all giving into their worst excesses.

2

Perfect Double Bill: Keeping Up With The Joneses (2016)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Richard Attenborough directs Michael Douglas, Tony Fields and Alyson Reed in this film adaptation of the Pulitzer Prize winning musical about a brutal audition process for a background slot in a Broadway show.

One…singular sensation! The great forgotten musical, one of my favourites from childhood since my sister used to play it on a loop. A gripping process movie. Years ago there was an early reality TV show called Popstars and it inadvertently revealed just how much ambition, sacrifice and skill was needed even to make it into a short lived, manufactured, mediocre pop band. This cynical thumper engagingly boils down an entire series of that into just a 100 minutes. You don’t expect this level of intensity or sexuality from Dickie Attenborough. Through his ensemble he really nails the talent, desperation and drive of his performers. Turning the nameless numbers on a call sheet into personalities we care for and then, in a cruel but fitting trick, losing them again into a big glittering Busby Berkley finale that is as nightmarish as it is shimmering.

8

Perfect Double Bill: Fame (1980)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Jack Arnold directs Richard Carlson, Julia Adams and Richard Denning in this Universal monster movie where scientists try to capture an amphibian beast in South America.

One of Howard Hughes’ most watched movies in his seclusion. Given the billionaire’s predilection for raven haired, buxom starlets it is easy to fathom why! Julia Adams voluptuous good girl goes through at least 20 costume changes, each tighter and more revealing than the next. Given the action takes place over a day and a half on a small boat in the middle of nowhere that’s an impressive wardrobe churn. Jack Arnold clearly has bigger ambitions but he never takes his eye off delivering a taut little genre flick first and foremost. One of those movies with a pure concept that gets better and better as it goes along.

8

Perfect Double Bill: The Shape Of Water (2017)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Kevin Costner directs himself, Graham Greene and Rodney A. Grant in this western where a Union Army lieutenant requests a posting on the frontier and slowly builds a kinship with a local tribe of Lakota.

Gorgeous, magisterial, humane. Approaches the wild west with the same wonder and fascination I’ve had with it since I was a little boy. Costner captures his landscapes and people with an eye that rivals Lean and Ford. Possibly my favourite cinematographer, Dean Semler deserves full credit for his masterful on location work once again. You cannot deny the adventure sequences when they come are rousing, sustained, organic and heroic. The buffalo hunt is unlike anything else ever achieved on-screen. Yet it is the intimate interactions that keep me coming back to Dances With Wolves, keeps it so high in my esteem. Watching the tribe slowly warm to Costner’s gentle outsider, their fear turning to patience mirrored in the wolf Two Sock’s fascination but caution around Lt. Dunbar. People looking for “issues” might read that as me comparing the natives to a predatory beast but I think Costner’s soldier is the wolf in this dynamic. Something the Sioux know to be innately fearful of yet in isolation one can learn to domesticate through time and understanding, trade and shared values. And it is a generous film, warm in humour and allowing time for characters with little to do with Costner’s lead their own moments to shine; Tantoo Cardinal as Greene teasing wife is particularly good value. An undisputable favourite of mine, though I do stick to the original three hour version.

10

Perfect Double Bill: Open Range (2003)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Aaron Nee and Adam Nee direct Sandra Bullock, Channing Tatum and Daniel Radcliffe in this romantic comedy action adventure where a novelist is kidnapped by an evil mastermind who believes her latest trash novel might hold the key to a hidden treasure on a tropical island.

Owes so much to Romancing The Stone that Diane Thomas and Bob Zemeckis might want to sue. OK… so there’s a wedge of Galaxy Quest drizzled on top too. All the best jokes are in the trailer, the adventure and the romance never really find their rhythm. It is also punched up to the point of dubiousness. The film has to be 30% looped in post-production gags and test audience pleasing reshoots. None of which particularly are worth the effort. Give the stronger stuff room to breathe, guys. Trust your shooting screenplay and stars! Still it is bright and inoffensive. The top four big names (Brad Pitt has a neat extended cameo) all can do this stuff in their sleep. You certainly wouldn’t switch over if it came on TV in a hotel room. Sandra looks resplendent in puce sequins. Just doesn’t live up to the high entertainment pedigree it invokes.

6

Perfect Double Bill: King Solomon’s Mines (1985)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Stuart Baird directs Patrick Stewart, Brent Spiner and Tom Hardy in this final Next Generation movie where Picard faces off against a younger clone of himself.

After this didn’t land at the box office Tom Hardy descended into alcoholism and self-doubt. Which is a shame as he’s the best thing in it and even he cannot save the day. Only his and Stewart’s two-hander scenes have any sizzle. Fascinating concept, delivered with zero imagination. Original cast members (nearly all collecting paychecks in terms of effort) and fans complain this is far too action oriented. As a keen viewer of intergalactic argy-bargy, I can promise you, it isn’t.

4

Perfect Double Bill: Star Trek: Insurrection (1998)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Potsy Ponciroli directs Tim Blake Nelson, Scott Haze and Stephen Dorff in this western where a farmer finds an injured man, inviting the deadly men who pursue the stranger into his peaceful life.

Solid lo-fi genre flick that looks fine and has the goods once the bullets start to fly. Tim Blake Nelson and Stephen Dorff both fit their roles like gloves. There’s kinda a historical ‘twist’ in the last act which is well handled. Reminds me a little of a faded out Budd Boetticher western.

6

Perfect Double Bill: The Tall T (1957)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/