Peter Bogdanovich directs Barbra Streisand, Ryan O’Neal and Madeline Kahn in this screwball comedy where four guests in a San Francisco hotel have the same identical plaid travelling bag and chaos ensues as they get mixed-up, stolen then chased.
I’m not a big fan of either lead but Madeline Kahn is superb as the nag. Just stay with her O’Neal… she’s worth the henpecking. This is often framed as some daring revival of a long lost genre but it is hard to ignore It’s A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World happened less than a decade previously!? This has more sparkle, that had more gags. Both feel corny now.
There’s nothing new that can be written about the shockingly abrasive prequel episodes that almost derailed Star Wars for the generation that grew up with it. I’m not going to lay too heavily into child performances, or icky wooden romances, or even Jar-Jar Binks. Jar-Jar isn’t my cup of tea but he belongs in a family movie. Maybe not a family movie about trade embargoes, taxation, fascism and forbidden lust for teens. The Padme / Anakin crush is now far more awkward and disturbing than a slightly racist CGI comedy sidekick. Maybe the future Sith Lord is using his underage powers to influence the twenty-something regal honey. Maybe Jar-Jar is also a Sith. Now there’s a kickback online fan theory that actually makes his weird presence quite engaging in retrospect.
The epic pod race is exciting. Iconic new villain Darth Maul got a good duel and a memorable “death”. John William’s Duel Of The Fates orchestral music is premium. All the Jedis turning up to fight droids in the gladiator arena has its moments. Neeson is well cast in the first one, McGregor comes into his own in Clones. Gifted with his own little detective quest that allows him room to breathe. I always want to rehabilitate these idiosyncratic entries but I confess I am clutching at Star Straws. Stay off those Death Sticks kids if you think Batman V Superman or Prometheus are anywhere near as iffy. It is hard to love two things this continually disappointing and wholly inexplicable.
When compared to what came before these two are almost irredeemable. The unreliable green screen FX works is leant into too foolishly. Every moment of excitement is hobbled by glaring fakery. A CGI stunt person who contorts like a polygon marionette. A constant pixel ugliness. Someone needed to be hired who could say “No” to George Lucas. “No” to using tech that wasn’t up to task. “No” to his screenwriting choices. “No” to his dreck dialogue. “No” to his humour. “No” to the yippees inserted in in post. If that producer existed we would have tighter, more action orientated movies, ones where the limitations might have created beauty and elegance. Instead we have four and half hours where you really have to sift through muck to find entertainment, to find that old magic. Garish enigmas yet still Star Wars.
Steve Cohen directs Rose McGowan, Alex McArthur and Peg Shirley in this erotic thriller where a bad seed teen lands in a new town ready to seduce a teacher, battle her evangelical grandmother and kill anyone else in her way.
The Crush or Poison Ivy but done real cheap and on random settings. Rose McGowan overcomes a very bland obsession interest (he really isn’t worth it) and the fact the producers literally create a character just to inject some occasional nudity into the proceedings. No nudity necessary as McGowan’s tight revealing fits and unhinged behaviour are spicy enough. Terrible film almost saved by its star = The Rose McGowan Story.
4
Perfect Double Bill: Lewis and Clark and George (1997)
Ang Lee directs Tobey Maguire, Jeffrey Wright and Jewel in this epic drama following the farm boys who join the South in the American Civil War but begin to question the values they are fighting for.
Ang Lee’s forgotten good ‘un. Doesn’t sit comfortably with either his indisputable masterpieces or his admirable follies. When it rages and roars with big on-location battles it is very magnetic. The skirmishes are brutish and tactile. The character arcs that scaffold the adventure though are quite brittle. These aren’t the brightest bulbs in the box and their change of heart over the years is not as interesting as anyone who made this clearly thought they should be. There’s a lot of potent talent here so it is somewhat ironic that the two most memorable performances are from the weakest links. Cute, helium voiced pop star Jewel never truly made another proper movie. And Jonathan Rhys Meyer’s baddie, with his unwavering evil and long sleek hair, comes straight from the school of Japanese manga villainy. Everyone else feels a little dampened by the mud and sideburns. Flawed but worth an afternoon.
A spot-on proper acting turn from Jim Carrey preserves this. He treads the line between sincerity and fakeness, naivety and irritating wonderfully. His commitment to “the bit” is a heartfelt tribute to Kaufman himself. Being massively into live comedy personally, there’s a seductive appeal in seeing the birth of the modern comedy boom from the perspective of someone inarguably at its experimental vanguard. This is legend being regurgitated as fact. Appropriately so. I have Bob Zmuda’s biography of his friend and partner in crime AND I’m hyped for Jason Reitman’s Saturday Night. I couldn’t be more part of the target audience for Man On The Moon. Forman’s movie does have an inbuilt problem though. Kaufman nose dived his career by doing repetitive abrasive stunts that soured audiences to him, the man and the prankster were inseparable. Which means after an hour of him gleefully finding a spotlight, you see him push the same self destructive buttons over and over, again and again. And this isn’t presented as tragedy. Framing his final years with this bent makes for an exasperating second half.
John Whitesell directs Danny DeVito, Matthew Broderick and Kristin Chenoweth in this comedy where an arrogant local busy body has his well planned Christmas ruined when his new neighbour decides to decorate the house across the street to excess.
Can’t decide whether it wants to be family or gross out… lands neither. Plenty of convoluted slapstick set-ups but only DeVito’s screen time sings.
4
The Shop Around The Corner (1940)
Ernst Lubitsch directs James Stewart, Margaret Sullavan and Frank Morgan in this classic comedy where a store’s best salesman has a crisis of confidence during the December rush.
A filmed play, famously remade as You’ve Got Mail. The core romance is actually a minor subplot here. Stewart finding his mojo and his saving the day is the magic. The well defined ensemble of players grows on you as Lubitsch glides into his witty groove.
7
The Preacher’s Wife (1996)
Penny Marshall directs Denzel Washington, Whitney Houston and Courtney B. Vance in this fantasy romantic comedy where an angel comes down to save a holy man’s family over a busy Christmas.
The Bishop’s Wife is a five star classic. This remake decides to shy away from any obvious attraction between Denzel and Whitney’s characters for Christian reasons. Meaning it is solely now about two handsome people moaning at a church man for being too busy while he works his butt off to keep his community together. What’s the point then? Whitney does get to sing Christmas songs with a church choir. Fair enough.
4
The Package (1989)
Andrew Davis directs Gene Hackman, Joanna Cassidy and Tommy Lee Jones in this Cold War action thriller where, after being framed for murder, a Green Beret must figure out why he was tricked into sneaking an assassin into America.
This wintery dry run for The Fugitive includes solid action, a “What If?” end of the Cold War setting that proved prescient and more than a few nods to Lee Harvey Oswald. So there is a lot going on. The first act is a little murkier in its storytelling than is needed but I think that is on purpose. There’s not really enough Tommy Lee Jones. All in all, this killed a Saturday night with my Dad and me in a way that most things floating around on streaming never could.
7
Enemy Of The State (1998)
Tony Scott directs Will Smith, Gene Hackman and Jon Voight in this paranoid conspiracy thriller where a lawyer’s life is destroyed by the NSA when he accidentally receives incriminating video footage.
You are out in the cold. Everyone is wrapped up pretending the world is a hopeful, sparkling place. There’s something about a Christmas time setting that makes a conspiracy thriller bite just a little harder. Will Smith is the everyman-on-the-run. He treats the trap that is chewing him up like an action heavy sitcom episode. He is not paranoid enough, saucily surly. Fuck reality, this is one of his most pleasing, on brand, blockbuster turns. Hackman’s surveillance expert joins the slam bang fun late in the story but the nods to him being The Conversation’s Harry Caul are a cute Easter egg. He’s a bit too testosterone fuelled and macho here to truly be a cover for his best acting turn. There are plenty of winks to The Conversation but this has more affinity to The Last Boy Scout or The Long Kiss Goodnight. Scott loves exploring modern digital tracking and hacking methods with an overwhelming visual full pelt. The movie rarely rings false as a techno thriller even a few decades down the line. The ending is choppy, the cast of a thousand faces are often underserved… Yet as an enthusiastic revival of the Seventies chase thriller Enemy Of The State has a lot, tons, of entertainment packed into it.
8
Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (2010)
Jalmari Helander directs Onni Tommila, Jorma Tommila and Tommi Korpela in this Finnish adventure horror where the young son of a reindeer hunter begins to suspect scientists have unleashed an evil Santa.
Apart from a slightly rushed ending, this is exactly what I want from a family horror flick featuring a plethora of nude old men. An icy blast.
8
Adam Sandler’s Eight Crazy Nights (2002)
Seth Kearsley directs Adam Sandler, Jackie Sandler and Allen Covert in this animated Hanukkah musical comedy-drama.
Wouldn’t know class if it got bit by it on its hairy ass. Utterly unpredictable. Every minute has a shock decision that feels in terrible taste. A lead character has slapstick seizures. Deer and shit share the frame way too often. The logos of shopping mall storefronts come to life to teach Sandler’s broken loser a product placement heavy life lesson. If you hate Sandler it is all here. Exhibit A through Z. Made post-South Park and aimed at teenage boys, those derided decisions make a lot of sense in actual context. The 2D animation and salty songs hit the spot. We laughed plenty. If you knee jerk hate on this, that’s a technical foul.
Ronald Neame directs Gene Hackman, Ernest Borgnine and Shelley Winters in this sinking ship disaster movie produced by the master of the genre Irwin Allen.
Gene Hackman made plenty of action flicks that just happened to be set over Christmas. This one actually takes place on New Years Eve, a festive tree is used as an improvised ladder and he plays a bolshy, turtleneck sporting priest. 75% of The Poseidon Adventure is Hollywood has-beens screaming at each other, drenched in sweat and seawater, populating obvious faked upside down passageway soundstages. I love it. The loudness. The griminess. The regular kills. The philosophical arguments. It is a big, big, big entertainment with just enough gruff grit to feel like it is saying something more. More than let’s flood this set, then blow this set up and feed one more Hollywood also-ran to the meat grinder.
Kenji Kamiyama directs Gaia Wise, Brian Cox and Luca Pasqualino in this animated fantasy prequel set 200 years before Bilbo found the one ring in Gollum’s cave.
Very beautiful but the pace is stately. This can often feel fatal when the second half is a stalemate siege.
Marielle Heller directs Amy Adams, Scoot McNairy and Jessica Harper in this black comedy where a mother feels her life is spiralling out of control to the point where she might be transforming into a dog after hours.
Ultimately an unashamed showcase for the always overqualified Adams. Feels very much like an adaptation of something that worked better as a literary exercise. There are wounding laughs and honest moments… excellent dog and toddler sequences. The feminist empowerment threads don’t bring anything particularly new to the table but Adams takes a fair amount of risk with her glamorous awards darling status. In all fairness a few extra pounds and some messy hair just makes her look a different brand of hot. Probably the biggest swing Heller has taken so far in her exemplary directorial career yet the least exciting.
Bobby Carroll's Movie Diary 