Ben Affleck directs himself, Brendan Gleeson and Elle Fanning in this adaptation of the Dennis Lehane’s doorstop thriller about a decent man who controls a Florida city during Prohibition for the Italian mob. 

Affleck and Lehane back together again. Nothing could go wrong. Then I saw the trailer and it all felt a little Dick Tracy… did I flinch? Nah, it’s Affleck and Lehane. Nothing could go wrong. Then the duff reviews came in, and I don’t read reviews before seeing a movie… but sometimes the cacophony of glimpsed at 2 star ratings manage to distract you with their consistency and regularity. Did I stumble on my way to the ticket counter? Nah, it’s Affleck and Lehane. Nothing could go wrong. And the first 20 minutes of period Boston bank robberies, treacherous molls and Gleeson tearing up the screen as Affleck’s hard cop Dad… and I was relieved. It’s Affleck and Lehane. “Nothing has gone wrong.” I whispered to myself. But then things went wrong. And it is hard to put your finger on exactly what while you are watching… except you soon realise as Affleck is passively on the sidelines of various cliched subplots that squirm around each other, trapped in the beautiful two hour bucket, wrestling each other for air… just how boring it all is. Every now and again an impressive exchange of acting or gunfire wriggles free of the bucket, and slithers away, but in the main it’s just all writhing up there on screen, becoming more tangled and indistinguishable. Aside from costume and set dressing, it all feels lacklustre. It feels like everyone thought this was such a sure thing that no effort needed to be made to excel. It feels constrained by 120 minutes of running time, like Gangs of New York there are scenes edited to cut away so quickly you wonder what the point of including them was, and you hypothesise about a longer cut that might give all this unoriginal murmuration just a few extra seconds per moment to find its sure footing. Like watching a series recap of Boardwalk Empire, then some deleted scenes, then another series recap without ever getting to enjoy a well paced, keenly structured episode. You’ll never find me Affleck bashing, not Affleck the director, nor Affleck the movie star, but either on set hubris or some unspoken of studio constriant in the edit booth has hobbled what should have been movie gold.

4

J. A. Bayona directs Lewis MacDougall, Sigourney Weaver and Felicity Jones in this tale of a stoic boy whose grief, guilt and rage at his mother’s terminal illness manifests itself as a destructive, fable spouting tree monster.

Beautifully crafted and performed (the kid is excellent) – this sadly left me cold through no real fault of its own. For all its fine qualities, I struggled to see who it was for. Too close to the bone for bullied, orphaned or troubled children to entertain yet a bit self worthy to be cathartic for adults remembering when they went through similar traumas. Like Kubo or Silence, I’ll happily concede I can see how such intelligent labours of love from celluloid artisans could seduce everyone else, and that the fault must internally be with me.

5

William Malone directs Geoffrey Rush, Famke Janssen and Jeffrey Combs in this horror remake where a group of strangers accidentally get invited to a rollercoaster tycoon’s party in an abandoned, haunted asylum. 

I vaguely remember this opening well with 50s psychiatric staff being attacked by sharp pencil wielding loons. That bit still proves OK, as does a joke stunt to introduce Rush’ latest wild ride, but that’ about all there is to say for this duller. Once the actual plot begins this becomes a snooze fest. C-list movie stars go wandering off on their own, double crossing each other half heartedly, until some inevitable poorly rendered CGI fuggy swirl slugs about mildly in the final act, picking off anyone an unwanted sequel couldn’t afford to rehire. Punishingly uninvolving.

2

 

Damien Chazelle directs Emma Stone, Ryan Gosling and John Legend in this original musical about an aspiring actress and obsessive jazz pianist trying to make it in Los Angeles. 

I settled into a New York multiplex seat with high expectations and within minutes they were exceeded. The opening number reached a crescendo of such dare, verve and painstaking timing (yet while feeling fresh and unstaged), popping with vivid colours and confident moves, that the rest of the running time could have just been the effervescent Stone and likably flawed Gosling making shadow puppets on the wall and I still would have given this a 10 anyway. They all do more than that (Whiplash was apparently no fluke and we all already love these stars), wearing the technical ingenuity, the quality influences proudly on their collective sleeves, and glorifying the simple emotions of risking it and failing and pulling yourself back together and moving on with an expert flourish. And the risky ending… featuring a forgotten almost star who made his name in a similarly bright movie about creative hopefuls almost touching the sun…. is just on-point. I’ll hold my finger to my lips and say no more right now. A breezy, touching, reverential, stops pulled all out, modern masterpiece.

10

Nicholas Ray directs Joan Crawford, Sterling Hayden and Mercedes McCambridge in this technicolor western about a saloon owner being driven out of town by her fanatical respectable counterpart. 

Romance, star vehicle, feature length catfight, gender subversion, blatant exploration of McCarthyism and still with your industry standard shoot-outs to boot, Johnny Guitar is one of those rare 50s form-busting, risk taking, tongue in cheek genre endeavours that make you constantly ask “What the fuck am I watching?” as it snares you tighter into its trap (see also 40 Guns). Obviously a massive influence on Tarantino with its long, monologue driven sequences and genre deconstruction, the above image sums up the camp fun to be had within; Crawford greeting a lynch mob in all her fineries at a piano, stuck between a rock and hard place. She plays for them for five whole tense, illuminating minutes.

7

 

Steve Barron directs Judith Hoag, Elias Koteas and Corey Feldman in this superhero action comedy about Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles, Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles, Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles, Heroes in a half-shell – Turtle Power! They’re the world’s most fearsome fighting teens, They’re heroes in a half-shell, and they’re green…

I’m going to chalk this up as a pleasant surprise. I hadn’t revisited this since the height of the toy craze, when my height was at least a foot shorter… but as a colourful entertainment it holds up rather well. Corners have been cut in the production, there are obvious padding sequences to separate the more expensive fight and FX work (which in the main is cartoonishly tactile – a positive) and the humour is obscurely adult… not in a blue way either, just in a would-kid’s-ever-get-some-of-the-reference-points-in-the-quips? weirdness. But April, Casey Jones, Splinter and the main four are a likeable bunch and when they get into rumbles they are kinetic and threat filled. What more could you ask from a blockbuster adventure made on a shoestring and a prayer the Turtle bubble wouldn’t burst before the celluloid was developed.

7

David Yates directs John Kani, Robert Pugh and Charles Gray in this true tale of servant who brings back from Australia a dubious missing heir, only to have the family reject him while the British public embrace him. 

A grand little first film from the now blockbuster director of the State of Play TV show, the later Harry Potter entries and spin offs, and last year’s underrated Legend of Tarzan. A remarkable footnote in British history is brought to life in the detached, ironic and episodic style similar to Kubrick’s Barry Lyndon. Although slight, it is a handsome and wry jaunt through that period’s concerns and styles with a luvvie supporting cast who glow rather than grate – as more often than not they are here playing acidic establishment rotters rather than their standard kindly butlers and portly fairy godmothers. One of those magical realist successes that feel even more mythic and important when you realise the historical accuracy of the story. Fine lead performances from Kani and Pugh too.

7

John Crowley directs Saoirse Ronan, Emory Cohen and Domhnall Gleeson in this period romance where an intelligent young Irish girl has to choose between her new life in a land of opportunities and the unexpected chance of happiness in her homeland. 

Just magical. A rare beast these days – a movie love story that leaves you genuinely uncertain what the right choice is, both men and locations are so seductively filmed. The calm, almost ethereal centre of the dilemma is Saoirse Ronan… now, she has been fantastic in more demanding roles, but this part seems to fit her like a glove. You deeply care about with who and to where she ends up, egging her on to make that right choice even if she knows before you what that should be. A deceptively light film with hidden grit and one that frames its heart and salt with sheerly wonderful presentation… you just want to get wrapped up in it all over again as the final frame freezes.

9

Nicole Holofcener directs Julia Louis-Dreyfus, James Gandolfini and Catherine Keener in this comedy about a mature single mother who starts an uncertain relationship with a man, only to discover one of her new massage clients is his ex and has plenty to say on his ‘qualities’. 

An upper middle class comedy of errors, this at times feels a little insignificant, set in a world of no financial worries and where jobbing middle age women take umbrage that their paying customers don’t do more to help them take a light padded mat up a flight of stairs… Men, hey! The whole endeavour has the tanned look and expensive tastes of being sat in cafe unwillingly listening to the loud, moaning conversation of people who have never cleaned up after themselves. The dialogue is just slightly better written. Having griped about that, like a class warrior, the subtle chemistry between Louis-Dreyfus and Gandolfini is captivating – the sorely missed big man puts in a beautiful shift. His gruffly spoken, flawed but gracious romantic interest is very real and seductive. Throwaway then, if it wasn’t for the quality cast.

5

Sam Liu directs Kevin Conroy, Mark Hamill and Tara Strong in this achingly faithful animation of the controversial graphic novel where the Joker breaks Bat-Girl and Commissioner Gordon yet reaches a moment of clarity with the Caped Crusader himself.

Watching this transgressive tale be brought to life is a treat in the main – within there’s a keen exploration of the Joker / Bats dynamic, moment of harrowing nastiness and a surprisingly hot sex scene between two costumed freaks. You can see The Killing Joke’s far reaching influence on Nolan, Burton and Snyder for at times this could be storyboards for the universes’ live action stablemates. But… it’s a very bitty narrative – many of the first and second acts’ plotlines are just left ignored and unresolved at the credits. Part of that is due to fidelity to the source materials arch punchline but you really would like to see Barbara, Gordon and the initial goons journeys reach some kind of epilogue. As a standalone movie this abrupt dismissal of key players once they’ve served their unfortunate purposes leaves a casual viewer unsated.

6