George P. Cosmatos directs Kurt Russell, Val Kilmer and Sam Elliott in this western that tries to expand on the much filmed Gunfight At The O.K. Corral by following the aftermath with equal brutal and chaotic detail.

Maybe because an elderly Wyatt Earp ended his days in Hollywood in the early days of the silent western that the myth surrounding him is eternally cinematic? An infamously troubled production Tombstone sits in the gut better than it plays in the eye. A few days after a view and the fantastic deep cut machismo of the casting and the downright walloping set pieces remain in the memory. The film itself is uneven over two plus hours. Both somehow rushed and slow. Epic yet choppy. I’ve never been the biggest Val Kilmer fan but his Doc Holliday is definitive. And the always welcome Russell bellows out the line “You tell ’em I’m coming! And Hell’s coming with me you hear! Hell’s coming with me!” as if it were the grandest line in western history. And it just may be. Shit, Bruce Broughton score is damn definitive too! See… only a few days later and I’m revising my opinion all over again

7

Perfect Double Bill: The Quick And The Dead (1995)

I write regular features about live comedy for British Comedy Guide here https://www.comedy.co.uk/people/bobby_carroll/features/

Sergei Parajanov directs Sofiko Chiaureli, Melkon Aleksanyan and Vilen Galstyan in this Soviet Cinema work of art based on the life and poetry of Sayat-Nova.

Androgynous fantasias. Visual esoteric codes. Shimmering sparkles. Any random minute of this is striking art. Like a music video or a gallery installation. And the most surprising thing is it never bored me. You’d really need to be in the right mood for it though.

6

Perfect Double Bill: Andrei Rublev (1966)

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Tim Kirkby directs Charlie Hunnam, Mel Gibson and Lucy Fry in this low key murder mystery set in modern Hollywood.

Hunnam is the disgraced cop turned society drop out forced to take on a case with nothing more than a bad attitude, a bicycle and a scraggly beard. Mel is a gregarious luvvie accused of murdering his wife. The whole thing is sub Raymond Chandler, weak Big Lebowski. A slew of quirky characters are met and then passed over. The mystery is pretty straight forward after all the faffing. Mel shines in his richest role post downfall but he isn’t around for half the movie. Doubt I’ll remember watching it in a year’s time.

5

Perfect Double Bill: Tequila Sunrise (1988)

I write regular features about live comedy for British Comedy Guide here https://www.comedy.co.uk/people/bobby_carroll/features/

James Gray directs Banks Repeta, Anne Hathaway and Jeremy Strong in this coming-of-age flick based on James Gray’s own experience of moving from public school to private school, his highly strung Jewish family and his awakening to the continual injustice of racism in society.

Gray is always a director who you know has the goods. Yet his movies uniformly fulfil their promise to the penny, never spoil you. He is masterly and patient. But that can be a nice way of saying his film making voice is boring and mummified. Armageddon Time is set in the punk era. The Clash’s album track of a similar name is a constant mournful refrain lingering within the soundscape of the movie. Rebellion but at a distance. There’s a lot here that rings true. The bullying injustices that mediocre teachers dole out to the outsiders in any class. The tentative friendship between two kids of wildly different backgrounds and futures. The alienating class divides and insidious attitudes of the private school culture. The inappropriate presence of the Trump family within that institution. The pressures of lower middle class family life. The expectation, thwarted ambitions, anxious emotive outbursts. Armageddon Time covers a ton and covers it well. Should be a five star film, right? Yet Gray’s consummate style puts all these quality, heartfelt elements behind museum glass. It is all display. Intellect not intuitive. The telling flaw is Anthony Hopkins’ mensch of a grandfather. A clever filmmaker would cast a sparkly Jewish character actor unknown for this lovely role. Lecter chews it up and takes you out of the truth of the sentiments he champions. Shame as there is a truly fine modern classic movie buried within these weighty themes and keenly intimate observations. But you could say the same of The Lost City Of Z, We Own The Night or The Yards.

7

Perfect Double Bill: The Tender Bar (2021)

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Jackie Chan directs himself, Yuen Biao and Fung Fung in this period martial arts comedy where an orphan crosses the country to regain the honour of his wayward older brother and his school.

That opening lion dance sequence is glorious. Those closing twenty minutes of endless one-on-one fighting are grinding. Let’s call it a draw.

5

Perfect Double Bill: Snake In Eagle’s Shadow (1978)

I write regular features about live comedy for British Comedy Guide here https://www.comedy.co.uk/people/bobby_carroll/features/

Brian Levant directs John Goodman, Rick Moranis and Rosie O’Donnell in this live action remake of the beloved Sixties cartoon about a suburban family surviving the Stone Age.

Visually this is astonishing. Massive blocky sets and chunky props and cute foamy dinosaurs that the cast blend magically into. Just look at that note perfect recreation of the iconic credits sequence and again later the sabre-tooth sting. WILMA! What happens inbetween is uninspired and narratively ugly. Not particularly funny and a little mean spirited. Half the cast don’t want to be there. Goodman is perfect casting but unhappy, Rosie O’Donnell is a very 1994 choice. There’s just enough trailer moments to shake loose a ton of money and it did. Yet it isn’t a smooth rewatch. Yabba-Dabba- Don’t.

4

Perfect Double Bill: Inspector Gadget (1999)

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Dean Fleischer Camp directs Jenny Slate, himself and Isabella Rossellini in this twee live-action/stop-motion animated mockumentary about a one inch high shell called Marcel who is dealing with depression and loneliness.

We all acknowledge Marcel killed a snail for that shell, right?

5

Perfect Double Bill: Mary & Max (2009)

I write regular features about live comedy for British Comedy Guide here https://www.comedy.co.uk/people/bobby_carroll/features/

Abi Damaris Corbin directs John Boyega, Michael Kenneth Williams and Nicole Beharie in this true story where a former Marine suffering from PTSD holds a bank hostage when a missed payment leaves him destitute.

Well intentioned but never really picks up any pace. Boyega stretches himself with a dramatic role but the movie’s overall intention is hand wringing mawk rather than satire or tension.

4

Perfect Double Bill: John Q (2002)

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Matt Johnson directs Jay Baruchel, Glen Howerton and Cary Elwes in this big business drama based on the true story of the Canadian tech firm who produced the first popular smartphone.

Modern nostalgia. Kind of like The Social Network’s dishevelled, desperate, middle aged cousin. A pitch perfect villain in Howerton. The movie takes witty pleasure in bullet pointing his inevitable self destruction. The comedy actor does ego driven megalomaniacal shits like no else. All the corporate downfall and comeuppance seems justified as presented here but there’s a continual tinge of sadness. They did have the better product but fashion trumped quality.

7

Perfect Double Bill: Dumb Money (2023)

I write regular features about live comedy for British Comedy Guide here https://www.comedy.co.uk/people/bobby_carroll/features/

Jeff Nichols directs Jodie Comer, Austin Butler and Tom Hardy in this true crime drama centring on a decade in the life of a motorcycle club that shifts from loutish rowdiness to deadly criminal activity.

Nichols finally delivers on all the outmoded promise he was fronting ten to fifteen years ago. Back then, if he made The Bikeriders it might be easy to dismiss as a greasy, low key Goodfellas tribute. Murder, betrayal, tragedy, tribal codes, historically accurate jukebox soundtrack. These days adult violent tough guy cinema is so rare it plays like an extinct bird taking final graceful flight. Hard cock, tough cum, swinging balls cinema embattled by snark, fakery and vanilla ratings.

Nichols captures the seduction and the lawlessness of the life. For a movie that is always on the move we are anchored to five or six oft-revisited locations and I reckon there’s an intentional metaphor in that. We are stuck there – sharing the thrills, the wrecks and the camaraderie. Finds laughs, gracenotes within all the threat and aggression. It is a yarn told like a yarn over a series of interviews, mainly with Comer’s grating and constantly mannered old lady. If you aren’t thrown by her full fat acting then… well…. she’s right next to Hardy for most of the flick and you could hardly call what he’s doing restrained or naturalistic either. It is a movie that understands outsider cool. You feel every swig of beer, every throb of an engine and every wounding impact. The tribe, The Vandals, is well sketched with bold personalities. Michael Shannon is gifted a few scenes where he literally slaps the Academy voting body around the face for a time. Let’s hope the bruises still sting in 8 months time. For middle aged character actors this a jamboree of masculinity. All in dirty leather drag. Yum yum.

And then there are two wonderful scenes amid all the inevitable descent into hell. Two fantastic interactions between Hardy and Butler. One lit by campfire, the glowing outline of their faces almost snogging as they reach an accord in the darkness over minutes of uncut monologue. Later, a black mirror scene where the same ground is covered yet now they don’t share a shot, the lighting is flat and stark, the editing to keep them separate constant. It owes something to Marty, something to Thelma but Nichols is his own thing. Vroom vroom.

9

Perfect Double Bill: Stone Cold (1991)

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