Stone Cold (1991)

Craig R Baxley directs Brian “The Boz” Bosworth, Lance Henriksen and William Forsythe in this undercover cop who owns a pet komodo dragon takes on a racist, criminal biker gang actioner.

Shoot-outs! Chases! Titties! Stone Cold is lowest common denominator stuff. The kinda film that Season 2 Homer Simpson might watch, only it actually has been made and released in this reality. The kinda film that only troubled cinemas for a fortnight but had its own bigger than life cardboard standee at the video shop for a year. The kinda film that actually kinda delivers on all the mayhem and energy that its once-glimpsed trailer promised back in 1992. Stone Cold is a bad film that does what it sets out to really well. The Boz is unconvincing as a human being but utterly convincing as a direct-to-video action hulk. He is no Arnie but the same vibes are there. Lance Henriksen, William Forsythe and Mac’s Dad from Always Sunny make for an deliciously OTT group of Hell’s Angels terrorists. Threatening, despicable but cool enough to be cult icons. The biker subculture feels more accurately represented here in this bubblegum comic book than Sons of Anarchy. And we end on a finale where motorcycles are driven through fourth storey windows at helicopters and people are shotgun blasted off balconies with gay abandon. The very last tracking shot even suggests some cinematic wit and artistry. Stone Cold is a guilty pleasure, yet one that has aged well, has stayed valid for the simple reason it is never for a single second boring.


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