Zack Snyder directs Sofia Boutella, Ed Skrein and Charlie Hunnam in this sci-fi epic where a band of rebels are recruited to protect a peaceful planet from enslavement.

Space vagina. Intergalactic Inglorious Basterds. Intergalactic Frankenstein. Intergalactic Magnificent 7. Intergalactic Star Wars. Jena Malone as a xenomorph spider. Intergalactic Anti-Climax. You get the picture. It is very derivative. Very pompous. Very slo-mo heavy. The cast isn’t the most exciting bunch of almost names and character actors. Yet I kinda dug it. Much like The Creator I didn’t really care how unoriginal it was as the visuals struck a deep pulsing nerve in teenage genre fanboy me. This is like a load of Heavy Metal album sleeves and forgotten single run comic series come to life. It is a shame we don’t get to experience Snyder’s grand, sincere, loopy tributes in the multiplexes anymore. As follys go, I’d watch Rebel Moon again with little coercion. Skrein and Boutella did well. A man tames and flies a giant crow griffin. Sign of the intergalactic devil!

6

Perfect Double Bill: Rebel Moon – Part Two: The Scargiver (2024)

My wife and I do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Richard Franklin directs Stacy Keach, Jamie Lee Curtis and Grant Page in this Aussie road thriller where a trucker begins to suspect there’s a van driver in the outback killing sexy hitchhikers.

Future Psycho 2’s director Franklin proved his Hitchcockian bonafides with this quirky and strange little etching of a movie. I’m sure I must have watched it as a teen… for while I never logged it as something I’d consumed on late night TV back then this all felt too familiar. The ultra patient opening with the bin bag and the dingo outside the motel. That weirdly expressionistic scene of the first murder involving a faceless pair of surrogates for the top billed stars. Keach’s barnstormingly awkward lynchpin protagonist. Almost like a kindlier, cuddlier Oliver Reed gone doolally from isolation. The comical cast of irregular drivers who our paths cross cross with between the thrills and the paranoia. Jamie Lee and Stacey hitting it off in the remains of a sand flooded township. The surprise twist when they find the van parked. The frightening mob mentality of the ‘all seems lost’ conclusion. Brian May’s bonkers, discordant score. A gem from Oz.

7

Perfect Double Bill: Wake In Fright (1971)

My wife and I do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Kevin Smith directs Brian O’Halloran, Jeff Anderson and Jason Mewes in this legacy threequel to the View Askew original where Randall decides to make an indie movie based around all the strange interactions the Clerks have had at the Quick Stop over the years.

1. I want a Big Choice Video T-Shirt.

2. Jason Mewes’ new teeth are terrifying but I’m glad he’s still going.

3. Unless you love Clerks and Clerks II, I doubt there’s much for you here (as it is so meta and so for Smith heads) but Natalie and I laughed loads so it felt like a gentle, nostalgic return to Generation X’s own Woody Allen’s glory days.

4. I’m not sure I can find 33 more dicks to suck here.

7

Perfect Double Bill: Jay & Silent Bob Reboot (2020)

I write regular features about live comedy for British Comedy Guide here https://www.comedy.co.uk/people/bobby_carroll/features/

Chris Williams and Byron Howard direct John Travolta, Miley Cyrus and Susie Essman in this Disney animated action comedy where a stunt dog on a hit television show believes his mission and the dangers he faces are reality.

OK… so it’s the Buzz Lightyear joke from Toy Story played out with animals. I’m cool with that. What in 2008 seemed like Pixar lite, these days plays like Pixar done right. And I’m sorry Inside Out fans but that’s a rarity recently from the actual studio that invented the formula. The grand scale action and buddy comedy chemistry are on point, the CG animation ambitious compared to what has been shat out before. Nice to end the Disney doldrums period on a surprise high.

7

Perfect Double Bill: Strange World (2022)

My wife and I do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Chuck Russell directs Kevin Dillon, Shawnee Smith and Joe Seneca in this gory remake of the Fifties B-movie.

Impressive practical FX, a Frank Darabont script and a mercilessly kill happy body count! What’s not to like? Ironically this The Blob never seemingly takes form. It is a series of set pieces that are never emotionally earned or particularly impactful. The creature is the equivalent of a Wonder Woman: is there anything it can’t do? The swerve into John Carpenter apocalyptic establishment conspiracy in the third act at least introduces an exciting human villain. Gloopy fun but my standards are spoilt, they demand something either more consistent or more self-aware.

6

Perfect Double Bill: Body Snatchers (1993)

I write regular features about live comedy for British Comedy Guide here https://www.comedy.co.uk/people/bobby_carroll/features/

Ralph Bakshi directs Susan Tyrrell, Maggie Roswell and William Ostrander in this Frank Frazetta inspired animated adventure of sword and sorcery.

If I were a teenage boy then I would no doubt find this rotoscoped fantasy of a nearly nude princess slinking from one rapey peril to the next pretty boss. And aren’t we all still teenage boys at heart? It is repetitive but has a workable mythology, simple yet sincere. Hard to recommend but I’ve spent a lot more time, money and effort reading runs of comics that achieve far less.

5

Perfect Double Bill: Wizards (1977)

My wife and I do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Chinonye Chukwu directs Alfre Woodard, Wendell Pierce and Aldis Hodge in this prison drama where a head warden begins to question the death penalty at her facility.

Solid but cold. There is much unspoken here and a very talented cast find themselves trying to enrich the ambiguities for minimal rewards.

5

Perfect Double Bill: Dead Man Walking (1995)

I write regular features about live comedy for British Comedy Guide here https://www.comedy.co.uk/people/bobby_carroll/features/

Janus Metz Pedersen directs Chris Pine, Thandiwe Newton and Laurence Fishburne in this dry espionage romance where two former lovers who worked together during a hostage crisis revisit that failed mission over dinner.

Two minute sex scene between Pine and Newton = hot. Diet John Le Carre flashbacks in a cold restaurant setting= not. There is a decent twist as to the ultimate motivation of the rat but you might have giving up caring by the time the music stops, everyone finds a chair and the game is over. Glossy but inert.

5

Perfect Double Bill: The Contractor (2021)

My wife and I do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Chris Columbus directs Macaulay Culkin, Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern in this kids comedy sequel where precocious vigilante Kevin gets on the wrong flight and stays at The Plaza.

When sleeper smash Home Alone first came out, my teenage sister begrudgingly dragged me along to see it with her mates on a Saturday out. In the two short years it took for the sequel to be churned out, I was going to the movies by myself, was buying film magazines and this felt like baby stuff I had fully outgrown. So I’d never watched Lost In New York in its entirety until quite recently. I’m not a fan. It follows the recipe of the original pretty slavishly and the movie is overlong from trying to crowbar in every element… only “bigger” and “better”. It could certainly lose all the pigeon lady schmaltz. To give the product some due, Columbus shows a certain degree of ingenuity in how he reverse engineers the unlikely situation of Kevin being lost by his family for a second Christmas in a row and New York will always be the most cinematic Xmas setting… The festive soundtrack is on point, props to Darlene Love. By the time The Wet Bandits are getting bricks to the faces though I had already powered down. Just took too long to get there. Less is more.

4

Perfect Double Bill: Richie Rich (1994)

I write regular features about live comedy for British Comedy Guide here https://www.comedy.co.uk/people/bobby_carroll/features/

Jules Dassin directs Richard Conte, Valentina Cortese and Lee J. Cobb in this noir thriller where a man tries to bring down a corrupt fruit wholesaler by tempting him with a truck full of apples.

A noir with a social conscience. It is all here; the fatalism, the sexy temptress, the overpowering boss, the urban milieu. Only there are also perilous set pieces that stun and enthrall. The motivation and complexity of the good girl and bad lady are spun on their head. The boss is Lee J. Cobb so you know his performance is an absolute knockout, the entire movie shifts to his axis whenever he is on screen. And the location working is well observed, brooding and rich. The Wages Of Fear with fresh fruit. And a heart. And socialism. A lesser known masterpiece.

9

Perfect Double Bill: Brute Force (1947)

My wife and I do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/