Beats (2020)

Brian Welsh directs Cristian Ortega, Lorn MacDonald and Laura Fraser in this period youth movie where two disenfranchised Scottish teens go to one of the last illegal raves after the Criminal Justice Bill came into force.

God, this really rubbed me up the wrong way! I was exactly the same age as these two plum bellends in 1995 and I can pretty much tell you the lives of such mopey eyed, sweaty, pillheaded dickheads ain’t nothing to celebrate. What a bunch of scumbags. “Ooh… I’m sad.” “Oooh… I’m lairy.” “Ooooh… I’m such a great mate.” This movie actually made me consider that no wonder the government brought such a draconian bill in considering all the petty crime, drunk driving and assaults that occur because of their “good time.” If you are not sure about the bill then don’t worry the script explains it chapter and verse about four increasingly boring times. Had exactly the opposite effect of what a youth rebellion movie should… it is no La Haine or Trainspotting or Small Faces. It made we want to vote fuckin’ Tory. Reach for the lasers so I can kill you with them! I’ll be fair and balanced. It is well shot, the moment the film lurches into colour was predictable but well handled. The soundtrack thumps with house classics. Laura Fraser gives a good performance in a minor role. Maybe I’m just too old for this kind of ‘hedonistic wankers being treated as heroes’ tosh.


Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here

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