Bobby Carroll's Movie Diary

Jonathan Kaplan directs Kurt Russell, Ray Liotta and Madeline Stowe in this yuppie-in-peril thriller where after a burglary a married couple make the mistake of letting an obsessive cop into their lives.

A trashy favourite from my teen years. This leans into the drama for much of the runtime then turns absolutely nightmarish for the last third. Most yuppie-in-peril potboilers pull their punches but this one goes full thrusters in its glee in obliterating Kurt Russell’s gentile existence. While we are waiting for everything to go to shit there are disturbing yet classy set pieces. The igniting incident is a convincing home invasion. The ride along sequence has shades of the then very contemporary Rodney King assault, so much so they had to edit the violence down. There is a top sex scene that turns creepy on a dime. All this is hard candy to suck on until the main event. Ray Liotta’s cop goes total psycho and it is a demented delight. Exactly how I want to spend my Saturday night, this held up particularly well on revisit.

8

Perfect Double Bill: Blink (1994)

I write regular features about live comedy for British Comedy Guide here https://www.comedy.co.uk/people/bobby_carroll/features/

M. Night Shyamalan directs Josh Hartnett, Ariel Donoghue and Hayley Mills in this thriller where a serial killer gets wind of an elaborate sting to catch him at the concert he is attending with his daughter.

This and Smile 2 are going to be studied as Taylor Swift: The Eras Tour era cinema. Live Aid might have been a cultural touchstone for a generation but it never inspired two genre movies while it was still happening. As a thriller this unravels in the third act. We spiral too far away from the hook, there are too many plot holes or false moves and the entire lengthy finale relies on an acting performance that is very flat. As a one watcher though, Trap is a tense hoot. Hartnett is having a blast modulating from bottled up ingenuity to friendly creep. You do fully enter Hartnett’s The Butcher / loving dad’s mindset. You root for him and enjoy every sneaky little cat-and-mouse victory. It kinda is a reverse Die Hard. The concert setting is well realised, even the original songs (written and performed by Shyamalan’s daughter) convince. Untethered from reality and funny as fuck, I don’t want to be down on Trap but it has as many problems as qualities.

Watched at Vue Omni Centre!

6

Perfect Double Bill: The Faculty (1998)

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Rob Zombie directs Sheri Moon Zombie, Jeff Daniel Phillips and Daniel Roebuck in this prequel / reboot to the beloved Sixties horror sitcom.

Flat, cheap, obviously filmed in Eastern Europe. Works better when watched as five sitcom episodes strung together to make a feature length release. The jokes are corny but fair tribute. Everyone seems to have fun, Sherri Moon and Jeff do a lovely Lillian and Herman impression. I’m just not sure that’s enough to justify a movie. I expected more… some gore… but this is just a very unlikely, very colourful family film.

4

Perfect Double Bill: Dark Shadows (2012)

I write regular features about live comedy for British Comedy Guide here https://www.comedy.co.uk/people/bobby_carroll/features/

Michaël R. Roskam directs Tom Hardy, Noomi Rapace, James Gandolfini in this crime thriller where a bartender sees his quiet life going sideways when adopts the wrong dog and his bar gets robbed.

Hardy playing a soulful brute enigma. Gandolfini, a schlubby threat. Rapace, a flinty vulnerable decent person. Three fantastic leads doing what they do best. Dennis Lehane wrote the screenplay and his understanding of the mechanics of modern crime are second to none. Wintery, petty, a cage. The Drop is first and foremost a character piece, never bombastic, very humane. This overlooked gem is one of the best neo-noirs of this century.

8

Perfect Double Bill: Gone Baby Gone (2007)

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Woody Allen directs himself, Diane Keaton and Don Keefer in this sci-fi comedy where a Seventies health food store owner wakes up in a dystopian future.

There’s a couple of OK homages to silent cinema but this feels very dated.

3

Perfect Double Bill: Love And Death (1975)

I write regular features about live comedy for British Comedy Guide here https://www.comedy.co.uk/people/bobby_carroll/features/

Michael Soavi directs Barbara Cupisti, David Brandon and Giovanni Lombardo Radice in this slasher where a killer kills a bitchy theatre troupe wearing a massive owl mask.

Self consciously sleazy, arty and catty. This is as close as euro trash slashers ever get to beauty. No whodunnit but some dance numbers. The third act tableaux where the killer arranges his bodies and sits down to relax with a cat purring on his lap and feathers blowing everywhere is one of the most dreamlike moments in Eighties cinema.

7

Perfect Double Bill: The Church (1989)

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Yasujirō Ozu directs Chishū Ryū, Shima Iwashita and Keiji Sada in this classic Japanese drama where the patriarch of the Hirayama family eventually realises that he has a duty to arrange a marriage for his daughter.

Unpopulated establishing shots, expansive cast of memorable characters. Low angle framing, clean Technicolor pop and a never-moving camera. People say this is a masterpiece of humanism. The roots of loneliness and the shift in Japanese society quietly explored. I just see a nice gentle man who absolutely lives for the sesh. So much boozing. No misbehaviour What a lad. My people.

8

Perfect Double Bill: Tokyo Story (1953)

I write regular features about live comedy for British Comedy Guide here https://www.comedy.co.uk/people/bobby_carroll/features/

Chris Buck and Fawn Veerasunthorn directs Ariana DeBose, Chris Pine and Alan Tudyk in this Disney animation where a potential apprentice to the sorcerer learns a disturbing secret about the wishes the population give on their 18th birthdays.

Unmemorable songs, flat CG animation that tries to mimic 2D watercolours, a story that feels like a thin thread to bead on Disney Easter Eggs. The voice cast is good but nobody is given enough time to marinate. There’s nothing particularly awful about Wish, it feels like something that has been made to be half watched on a constant loop but my standard for a Disney fairytale is so much higher than “Will this do?”

4

Perfect Double Bill: Cinderella (2021)

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Sidney Lumet directs Sean Connery, Dyan Cannon and Martin Balsam in this heist movie where a just released convict attempts to rob every home in the swanky apartment building of his girlfriend.

Told in flashback from an uncertain aftermath and with a particular emphasis on new surveillance technology, you can see what attracted Lumet. It is a gentle caper that builds to a meh punchline. Christopher Walken gets his official debut and Martin Balsam’s take on a gay art dealer is dated but amusingly so. Horrible whiny score, terrible garish end credits.

6

Perfect Double Bill: The Offence (1972)

I write regular features about live comedy for British Comedy Guide here https://www.comedy.co.uk/people/bobby_carroll/features/

Thomas Schlamme directs Mike Myers, Mike Myers and Nancy Travis in this dark romantic comedy where a beat poet begins to suspect his fiancée might have killed all her previous husbands.

Myers is working very hard in dual roles as the smarmy lead and his obnoxious Scottish dad. But Nancy Travis is a hollow foil. They should have also let Sharon Stone play dual roles like she wanted. There’s a better film here lost in a script that just doesn’t gel.

5

Perfect Double Bill: Clean Slate (1994)

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