David Gordon Green directs Paul Rudd, Emile Hirsch and Lance LeGault in this Eighties-set throwback where two immature men work the roads, isolated out in the Texas wilderness.
Slight and pretentious. There are a couple of nice tremors of magical realism, you chuckle occasionally at the sight of Rudd in dorky tight shorts. These things do not a feature film’s worth of entertainment make. A lowlight for the usually dependable comedy star.
3
John Ford directs Ben Johnson, Joanne Dru and Ward Bond in this western where a hodgepodge of horse traders, Mormons, whores and thieves journey across the wilds together in search of a new life.
Gentle and poetic, this favours community over violence. When the bad guys force themselves into the burgeoning coterie they don’t just feel like a ticking time bomb to the peaceful cohesion of the travellers but a hangover from the days of Civil War and land taking. Their way of the gun needs to be rejected as an ill of the past. To while the time away until they show their true colours and strike, we have hoedowns and courting. Johnson’s flirtation with Dru is done in fine romantic shorthand. The scene where she has a memorable adverse reaction to his proposal of settling down is a stunning bit of cinema, should really be consider an iconic moment of the genre. But Wagon Master was only recently reassessed as a classic, seen at the time of release as Ford at his most uncommercial.
7
Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk
We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/
Louis Morneau directs Jim Belushi, Kylie Travis and Shannon Whirry in this woman caught in a timeloop with a Texan psycho killer she hitches a ride with.
Groundhog Day. Triangle. The Endless. More often than not a hero stuck on repeat for 90 minutes makes for pretty glorious popcorn. I’m gonna make a few bold statements. While nowhere near as gold standard as the Bill Murray classic, this is an action thriller variation on that theme which sits comfortably on the silver podium. In my experience the best direct-to-video release ever. I remember renting it from Variety Video in Greenford and it was well worth the £3.50. Sexy ladies, dusty road mayhem, high octane explosions, Outer Limits-style sci-fi trappings. It is a film that marinated in my memory banks as a low budget blast ever since. And half my life further down the line it actually exceeded my fond expectations. A couple of great 90s character actors pop in and out. Shannon Whirry, queen of the VHS Basic Instinct rip-off, here keeps her clothes on for once and is just as hot and unpredictable. Kylie Travis lacks star power but is equally pleasant on the eye, her de-facto heroine making things hella worse every time she gets another shot at trying to make things right. The script evolves the peril and the urgency with neat twists each respawning. But man of the match is Jim Belushi. Yeah… I know… unqualified praise for the lesser Belushi sibling! Often an obnoxious comedy presence in middling fare, he kinda settled into being a DTV big fish with hokey thrillers like Traces of Red and Gang Related once his box office power dwindled. This though is his finest hour as an unctuous man in black, ready to kill and quick to temper. He proves a constant threat for our pneumatic avatar… the kinda villain you love to hate. 88 Films are selling this on Blu-Ray currently and if you like B-Movie carnage of the stamp of The Hitcher or Hard Rain then Retroactive is a tenner well spent. A risk I concede as nobody seems to sing this forgotten gem’s praises but I’ll vouch that it genuinely is a supercool night in!
8
Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk
We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/
Richard Fleischer directs Kirk Douglas, James Mason and Peter Lorre in this aquatic sci-fi adventure where a tyrannical submarine captain wants to attack the world into peace.
The original steampunk epic… this is all rivets and rust. It looks awesome… but, a comedy seal and thrilling squid attack aside, it is very dull. How can something designed to be so compelling, turn out to be so trudging? I’d question the logic of making children’s films populated solely by middle aged men for a start.
4
Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk
We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/
Jim Abrahams directs Bette Midler, Lily Tomlin and Fred Ward in this comedy where two sets of twins are mismatched at birth – one set from a little town based around a furniture factory, the others from the big city mega-corporation that plans to sell the community off thirty years later.
Hi-jinks ensue. The first half hour is packed with jokes and silly singing numbers but it gets lazy and repetitive long before the end. I’m not even sure the happy ending where everyone is paired off romantically and the town is saved has been earned or is what half of these characters wanted five minutes earlier? Still Tomlin and Midler ham it up even when all the movie has them do is narrowly miss each other in the hotel lobby for the millionth time on an endless loop. By the point you realise the gags have dried up, Midler’s Eighties fashions and mugging have gone into pleasing overdrive.
5
Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk
We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/
William Keighley directs James Cagney, Pat O’Brien and George Brent in this WWI drama where a regiment of New Yorker are slowly killed off by the selfishness of one bad apple.
Strange watching Cagney play an out-and-out rotter. His coward here is so unlikable and harmful that when his eventual moment of heroic redemption comes it feels thoroughly undeserved. Aside from that this is a solid oldie.
5
Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk
We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/
Griffin Dunne directs Meg Ryan, Matthew Broderick and Kelly Preston in this dark romantic comedy where the jilted exes of a new couple stalk, spy and plot their break-up.
You can see why this didn’t set the world on fire in 1997. Meg Ryan, the box office tyro, is a little too self-consciously kooky here. It is a role that would fit a Lisa Kudrow or a Parker Posey like a glove. America’s Sweetheart though… looks like she’s slumming it. Which is a shame as once she’s got her Mr Toad motoring goggles off she is still an enticing prospect for the wet Broderick character and, more importantly, us to fall for. Dunne’s direction is aggressively cinematic without being intrusive – he pushes for strange angles and antiquated forms of movie grammar. Broderick and Ryan use a camera obscura to watch the happy home across from their squat and he exploits the visual possibilities from this device well. Tchéky Karyo as the pompous but rapacious new lover is a horrendously punchable creation… he manages to essay someone who could steal Kelly Preston from Broderick convincingly but we still relish seeing ruined by the spurned pair of broken hearts. It is a spiky film sold as a saccharine romp. For me it has aged well. Sure… many might see the protagonists as stalkers – dangerous obsessive who try to control and bully two humans who fell out of love with them. But the film is too cartoonish to attach real world hot takes on it. If you are going to condemn Maggie and Sam’s campaign of terror… at least accept everyone is flawed, capable of unhealthy fixation and lashing out. It is how we (eventually) move on from the heartache that is the coda… the creepy bad behaviour here is the larks for the audience and unintentional flirtation for these two loons. Better than you’ve been led to believe.
7
Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk
We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/
Hong Khaou directs Ben Whishaw, Cheung Pei-Pei and Peter Bowles in this drama where a bereaved gay partner reaches out to the elderly mother of his deceased lover.
A gentle, charming tale of grief, communication and acceptance. Possible a little too thin and practiced to really seduce.
5
Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk
We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/
Benedict Andrews directs Rooney Mara, Ben Mendelsohn and Riz Ahmed in this adaptation of David Harrower’s play Blackbird where a victim of child abuse tracks down her seducer decades later.
Well acted and sensitively shot drama which flirts with shifting into thriller territory. Definitely not interested in being a black and white study – Mara’s damaged adult is often explicitly sexualised, the flashbacks to the abuse have humanity towards both participants and Andrew’s captures the everyday threat of port towns and cul-de-sacs. A little too dry and elliptically ended to demand repeat viewings but this is a solid attempt to explore issues without passing the obvious judgements.
5
Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk
We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/
Gary Nelson directs Barbara Harris, Jodie Foster and John Astin in this body-swap kid’s comedy where mother and daughter spend a hectic day in each other’s skin.
Spirited performances and a very, very busy plot cover up the fact this often is all set-up and very minimal punchline. The all-action car chase and water-ski finale is pretty impressive but it is in the smaller… possibly unintentional… details like the oblivious family dog and Barbara Harris’ bubblegum blowing that make this frequently still pleasurable.
6
Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk
We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/
