Bernardo Bertolucci directs Marlon Brando, Maria Schneider and Maria Michi in this erotic drama where a grieving hotel owner and a far younger free spirit start an anonymous affair.

Pretentious, hokey, dull and wobbly. That could just be Brando’s performance. He’s definitely trying something here and that rarely gels with the amateurish Schneider’s appealing if wonky lead. Their best scene together is him giving her a bath… it has true tenderness and a sensual charge missing among a lot of the other, moodier fuck sequences. The quality of the outdoors scenes is also all over the shop. I get what Bertolucci is trying to say here about desire, connection, ageing, time, loneliness and grief… but Don’t Look Now does it all with more thrills and less blatant metaphors. A couple more decades and I’ll be Brando’s age and no doubt try this a third time.

6

Perfect Double Bill: 9 1/2 Weeks (1986)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Joe Wright directs Peter Dinklage, Haley Bennett and Kelvin Harrison Jr. in this period musical where a witty soldier is convinced his appearance renders him unworthy of the affections of the luminous Roxanne, a devoted friend who’s in love with someone else.

Mixed emotions. A beautiful piece of cinema, easily the most sensual movie of Joe Wright’s career. As a visual love letter to his luminous wife (Bennett) this proves incomparable. He uses Sicily as a frame and the well worn plot as a delivery system to lens his undeniably lush paramour in every angle and pose and lighting setting possible. And Dinklage gets an aptly meaty role that amplifies everything that has made him a deserved if unlikely household name over last decade of his lengthy career. The script is self reflective, a common thread within Wright’s period romances. Just another example of the big risky swings this adaptation often takes. It is a work defined by big risky swings. Not all are successful. The clunky final act does not live up to the opening… I didn’t think it works particularly well as a musical but Natalie has been revisiting the soundtrack written by The National over a week later. So what do I know? It is a strange mix of pared back minimalism and ornate flourishes. This Cyrano works, I’d rewatch it, maybe it’s uniqueness might nudge it into classic territory?

7

Perfect Double Bill: The Station Agent (2003)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Christopher Cain directs Emilio Estevez, Kiefer Sutherland and Lou Diamond Phillips in this teen western where a group of wayward young men seek revenge on the cattle baron who kills their father figure.

“We regulate any stealing off his property – we’re damn good too! Mr. Tunstall’s got a soft spot for runaways, dareless, vagrant types. But you can’t be any geek off the street, gotta be handy with the steel, if you know what I mean, earn your keep.” Quite a punchy little Western bolstered by Dean Semler’s beautiful cinematography. The action has bite and the script has eloquence. Estevez is on fine form as Billy The Kid, while Dermot Mulroney and Casey Siemaszko often steal focus from the bigger names. There are a few indulgent sequences that weaken the stew, stretching the pacing out, but even if you aren’t nostalgic for The Brat Pack era there’s more than enough within to entertain.

6

Perfect Double Bill: Young Guns II (1990)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Eric Louzil directs Shannon Whirry, L.P. Brown III and Malcolm McDowell in this erotic thriller where a hot but prim British insurance investigator has to mooch around New Orleans with some swaggering dickhead to solve a diamond crime.

Watched for free on YouTube with all the nudity cut out. I’m guessing by the clunky edits I noticed, only a paltry three soft porn sequences have been excised. Channel 5’s Sharon Stone, Shannon looks lovely but her accent wobbles. Brown and McDowell only manage to achieve a one-take hyper obnoxiousness. Even if the smooth bottoms and perky boobies were kept in, this would be pretty cheap and pretty unwatchable.

2

Perfect Double Bill: Fair Game (1995)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Lee Su-jin directs Han Suk-kyu, Sol Kyung-gu and Chun Woo-hee in this Korean thriller where two fathers, a politician and a hardware shop owner, face off over a tragic hit-and-run.

So many twists, turns and subplots that this is almost incomprehensible by the end. I guess The Big Sleep and Blade Runner don’t make complete sense either but neither of them are so draining… unlike here they are detailed rather than needlessly complex. A few nice nasty stabs shake up the shaggy dog narrative but this is no Parasite.

4

Perfect Double Bill: The Beast (2019)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

François Truffaut directs Jeanne Moreau, Henri Serre and Oskar Werner in this French New Wave classic, set before and after WWI, where two friends fall for the same woman yet attempt to find a more egalitarian way to all exist together.

The movie starts at a relentless pace. Zippy to the point of breathlessness. We are running around a gallery, dashing over train tracks, moving into the future like a sugared up shark. By the end things are grinding and sputtering. Time and ageing has defeated our three lovers. They are resigned to repeating lost memories and old conquests. Life has lost its zest. The whirlwind of lust and discovery is over. Maturity and knowledge and history has worn these youths down and away. Oskar Werner’s Jules doesn’t like the sound of clocks, he has an hourglass in his room. Later, once married, when we first enter the marital home, all we can hear is the cogs of a clock turning ominously. The boys’ performances are nowhere near as wondrous as the gorgeous Jeanne Moreau. The ending is genuinely a slap in the face but it has a poetry. One of my favourite arthouse classics…I’m more a Hollywood blockbuster guy yet Truffaut tinkles all my emotions with his buzz and mastery.

10

Perfect Double Bill: Eva (1962)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Olivier Assayas directs Asia Argento, Michael Madsen and Kelly Lin in this globetrotting thriller where a sex worker turned assassin hooks up with her former boss.

Coming from an arthouse director, this is allowed to noodle around in a narrative liminal space where it seems too little is happening. The dryness, ambiguity and corporate flatness can make it very dull at times. It doesn’t help that Madsen’s two big scenes play out like wannabe Mamet plays where neither lead has the energy to pull off the frisson needed. There’s kink and a couple of decent minimalist set pieces, Argento always catches the eye whether imperilled or seducing. It feels like a diluted Bourne or Haywire spin-off. Doesn’t live up to the movie poster’s dangerous promise but not a complete disappointment.

4

Perfect Double Bill: demonlover (2002)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Ron Underwood directs Kevin Bacon, Fred Ward and Finn Carter in this low budget but big hearted monster movie where something deadly is stirring beneath the desert.

This was a gateway horror movie for little Bobby Carroll. While I wasn’t a fan of ghouls and scares at 11, this had enough adventure and comedy for me to embrace it as a beloved VHS favourite. And it has aged fantastically. The neat practical trick FX hold up, the location shoot make it almost a timeless watch . It could be set in the 1950s, it could be now. Lovely ensemble work, with Fred Ward walking away with the movie. Bacon and Carter have nice chemistry and smooth looks but you really only care about the boys’ “business partnership”. That’s slightly unfair actually… as the efficient, gag heavy script manages to make every member of Perfection, Nevada’s rapidly diminishing population sparkle. Tremors is just good old fashioned fun that understands the need for escalating the threat level regularly. The running theme is Bacon’s feckless grafter needs to start planning ahead and when faced with the “motherhumpers”, who approach their next meal with a problem solving zeal, he has to rise to the challenge and outsmart some very capable “graboids”. Charm, pace and thrills – this is as about as entertaining as a Saturday night in can get. The rental cover parodied Jaws and that sells the movie perfectly.

9

Perfect Double Bill: Slither (2006)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Anne Fletcher directs Sandra Bullock, Ryan Reynolds and Betty White in this romantic comedy where a tough editor needs to pose as her assistant’s fiancée for… reasons.

Bright but uneven. The comedy is undercooked but dominates, the romance half of the equation is an afterthought. Bullock gets a lot more scenes than Reynolds and nearly all the comedy skits. She looks great but her “bitch boss” character softens way too quickly and with minimal catalyst.

4

Perfect Double Bill: Two Weeks Notice (2002)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Fritz Lang directs Glenn Ford, Gloria Grahame and Lee Marvin in this classic film noir where a police detective is taken to the edge trying to bring down corruption.

Absolutely savage. The level of violence and the hard narrative choices this casually makes would feel shocking even if it were made 30 years later. Glenn Ford’s obsessed straight arrow destroys the lives of every woman he touches, even more so than the crime ring he wants to break. Obviously the callous extremeness of this rubs against the slightly staid normality of the mainstream form of its day. Maybe that’s the point. Lang seems to be pushing himself here. There are showy shots to rival Citizen Kane (the opening feels like a direct homage) and even in talkier scenes his camera swoops gently in and out from the players. Gloria Grahame’s ditzy but combative moll absorbs all the focus in her scenes, of which there should be even more. If you’ve got dynamite, why not blow up as much as you can?

8

Perfect Double Bill: The Woman In the Window (1944)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/