Deborah Kaplan and Harry Elfont direct Ethan Embry, Jennifer Love Hewitt and Lauren Ambrose in this teen romantic comedy following the crazy night of debauchery that happens to (at least) four dozen teens at one wild house party.

The 90s teen house party movie is given the Dazed and Confused / American Graffiti treatment. Lower those expectations, this is simple and scrappy. It gives you volume rather than value. None of the multitude of threads would impress on their own but they reach a satisfying barrage by the last lap. This has been edited down a little, taking out a few drink, drugs and sex reference to stay PG-13. The knock-on effect is certain character go nowhere. Can’t Hardly Wait is mainly notable for just how many forgotten and future teen TV and comedy stars it jampacks into 100 minutes. Jason Segel, Tara Benson and Selma Blair are floating around in nameless roles and THAT really is just the tip of iceberg. Hewitt looks amazing, doe eyed and chesty. Ambrose and Seth Green probably put the most effort in, even if their layer of the onion is cribbed directly from an episode of Friends. Soundtrack thumps, especially because of the sheer amount of Smash Mouth lurking around the back tracks.

5

Perfect Double Bill: 200 Cigarettes (1999)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Joseph L. Mankiewicz directs Montgomery Clift, Elizabeth Taylor and Katharine Hepburn in this gothic drama where a rich matriarch is financially encouraging an asylum to give her niece a lobotomy after she was a party to her mysterious son’s death.

Fascinating – in that you have three very different movie stars jumping through quite difficult hoops. Taylor is pure sex as the condemned young lady, she smashes the third act monologue, her face superimposed over surrealist flashbacks of her enigmatic cousin’s last days. Clift is battling with his real life trauma and addiction, noticeably a bit shaky but holding it together. Hepburn makes easy snacking of Tennessee William’s florid dialogue, though her moments do feel the most stagiest. It is definitely a story that get better as it goes along and one of the first to acknowledge homosexuality even if Mankiewicz is never permitted to be frank and explicit. The best moments are the most overwrought; Liz dangling above a lecherous ward of salivating and horny nuts, Liz begrudgingly splashing around in a revealing swimsuit for a baying crowd of salivating and horny locals.

7

Perfect Double Bill: Cat On A Hot Tin Roof (1958)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Jane Campion directs Benedict Cumberbatch, Kirsten Dunst and Jesse Plemons in this family drama set in the West, based Thomas Savage’s 1967 novel, about the abusive power struggles between two rancher brothers, the new woman of the house and her fey son.

I’ve read an article saying herein Cumberbatch compares with Lee Marvin in terms of menace, masculinity and stature. Don’t make me laugh? He’s either miscast here or overly clever clever casting. He never matches as a roughhouse tyrant, master of manifest destiny. And hidden away in the backstory there’s a couple of reasons for that. His repressed sexuality for one, the fact he is only a rich boy play acting as a man of the earth is the other. Yet I doubt his performance is that complex, it is happenstance that the job of convincing he’s a real man’s man is beyond him. Campion clearly loves the paradox of his antagonist. She all but forgets Dunst and Plemons in the last act, which is a shame as their performances have a fair bit more mileage to them. There is a good twist at the close (as I type that I realise the term “twist” has never been more appropriate… so mini round of applause for that.) The strong cinematography by Ari Wegner manages to make the landscapes beautiful but oppressive. The production design equally hits the right balance between stark and visually striking. The pace of it though is just a few beats off, confusing slovenliness with significance. There are definite longueurs where more psychological content could be neatly fitted in.

6

Perfect Double Bill: East Of Eden (1955)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

McG directs Judah Lewis, Jenna Ortega and Robbie Amell in this horror comedy sequel where various devil worshipping factions again want Cole’s virgin blood.

More of the same but with a lot less Samara Weaving. Mindless fun.

5

Perfect Double Bill: The Babysitter (2017)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Francesco Rosi directs Frank Wolff, Salvo Randone and Pietro Cammarata in this Italian true crime movie where a bandit becomes a resistance leader, his death creating a court case where the Mafia, the government and the military find themselves judged.

A biopic where we never properly see the subject once. And therefore understand his historical impact on Sicily even more.

6

Perfect Double Bill: Christ Stopped at Eboli (1979)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Lo Wei and Wu Chia Hsiang direct Bruce Lee, Maria Ye and James Tien in this martial arts movie where an immigrant worker at an ice factory in Thailand tries to keep his vow not to fight despite plenty of bullying and crime.

Teases us for the first half with Bruce resisting the urge to get his top off and kick ass. When he finally cracks it is a lot of fun, though pretty tame by Jackie or Jet Li standards. This feels more competently made than its cult reputation requires and it always seems to get me in the right mood, in spite of its meat and potatoes ambitions.

7

Perfect Double Bill: Game Of Death (1978)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

David Blue Garcia directs Elsie Fisher, Sarah Yarkin and Moe Dunford in the legacy sequel to the gory horror classic where a group of annoying influencers buy up the town Leatherface has been hiding out in.

You’d think there be some entertainment value in seeing such a repugnant bunch of youths chopped to bits but the scares don’t land and the cast is a bit too soft and pleasing to deserve their characters’ fates. Not that I’d want to watch a movie where any more of this lot survive. It just all feels out of sync, whenever the visuals are good the pace drops, whenever the kills get giddy, you question the set-up. Pass.

4

Perfect Double Bill: House Of Wax (2005)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

VWe also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Adam Shankman directs John Travolta, Michelle Pfeiffer and Christopher Walken in this musical remake of the John Waters period teen pastiche where a happily fat Baltimore girl becomes a dancer on The Corny Collins Show and inadvertently starts a race riot.

Obviously I prefer the 1987 original, which despite being PG is still virulent with Waters and Divine’s inherent immaculate bad taste. This is slickly done with a popping cast. Bravely, and somewhat surprisingly, it never betrays the progenitors’ more abrasive, transgressive nature even if it is always aiming the be more mass market in its big budget, A-Lister take. The drag, segregation and fat shaming have all survived the studio process. Man prefer Ricki Lake… but that’s the only real criticism you can level at this sly, playful update. Pleasantly plump. “I wish every day were Negro Day!”

6

Perfect Double Bill: Dreamgirls (2006)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Andreas Fontana directs Fabrizio Rongione, Stéphanie Cléau and Carmen Iriondo in this mystery drama where a Swiss banker travels to 1980s Argentina after his shady partner disappears, hoping to keep their corrupt clients on board.

Very dry. Very talky. Not without its merits. A constant sinister air of unease permeates each meeting. The absent partner Keyes becomes a Harry Lime style figure – an enigma but also representative of just how corrupting and furtive this regime is. Certainly no crowd pleaser, this is the Heart Of Darkness over business brunches and portfolio renegotiations… but I’m now curious as to what Fontana does next. There’s patience and control here that is tantalising.

7

Perfect Double Bill: A Most Violent Year (2014)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Eric Blakeney directs Liam Neeson, Oliver Platt and Sandra Bullock in this crime comedy where an undercover Fed begins group therapy, a relationship with his cute colon cleaner and a friendship with a mafia psycho.

Can definitely see why this got greenlit at the peak of Analyse This / Mickey Blue Eyes fever. Yet it is simultaneously criminally ornate and under baked. The opening sequence is important to many of the later relationships and gags, yet it is very choppily edited. We rush through a violent fantasia with names like Taylor Negron appearing for just one distracting shot. You assume we’ll get the full picture at the second act turning point… a flashback that fills in the elusive blanks… Nah. It is never revisited. This cavalier, distracted manner of storytelling is endemic throughout. You’ll struggle to care, never laugh. Not enough Sandy Bullock – she’s in her perky wheelhouse but its a small role that should have went to newcomer rather than an A-Lister. A cameo would have made sense, but tenth billed?? Maybe she owed somebody a few days’ work?

3

Perfect Double Bill: The Whole Nine Yards (2000)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/