After the Storm (2016)

Hirokazu Kore-eda directs Hiroshi Abe, Satomi Koboyashi and Kirin Kiki in this Japanese family drama where a feckless detective spends a final weekend with his estranged son and moving-on ex.

The first hour is quite pleasurable, as much a formless week in the life of scuzzy private investigator – softball crimes, cheap cons and bottom tier sleuthing – as a sophisticated soap. The familial elements that add coarseness to this shaggy dog enterprise snap into focus in the second half. The embattled weary relations of our back-on-his-heels loser find themselves trapped in a cramped flat. A storm rages outside. Ultimatums are made, sad realisations finalised… and a little bit of hope and back pedalling is left with us at the credits. I’m not going to lie and pretend the gambling and unethical behaviour of Hiroshi Abe isn’t what I enjoyed the most but for you purer arthouse heads there is plenty of cooking, furtive looks and tender moments too.

6

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Beautiful Thing (1996)

Hettie MacDonald directs Glen Berry, Scott Neal and Linda Henry in this London romance where two council estate lads fall for each other.

A small but significant film. The acting is variable but it makes its points with a subtle sophistication. Home life is given more credo than street life, bullying becomes a background irritant rather than a plot driver for the romance, the estate itself isn’t all grim and brutal… people have jobs and passions away from the obvious. The magical realist ending leaves us with a smile on our face but no definitive answer as to how these relationships will blossom or die surrounded by so much attention. Would make a fine double bill with recent gay classic Pride.

7

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Movie of the Week: She Wore a Yellow Ribbon (1949)

John Ford directs John Wayne, Victor McLaglen and Joanna Dru in this Western where a retiring Cavalry captain takes his troop out on one last patrol.

Manifest Destiny: The Sitcom Years. Dated politics and racism aside, this is a beautiful ensemble piece. The location work is stunning, Duke delivers his most uncharacteristically human turn of acting and the always wonderful McLaglen gets a comedy bar fight sequence just for the sake of things. Duty and peril take over romantic triangles and scenery but the light witty air never abandons the production. A fine film.

9

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Bill & Ted Face the Music (2020)

Dean Parisot directs Keanu Reeves, Alex Winter and Brigette Lundy-Paine in this legacy sequel to the time travelling dudes movies from your youth.

The ultimate “I like what they did there” movie. Every scene you think to yourself “I like what they did there.” Not love though… as an entertainment this isn’t particularly thrilling, coherent or funny. It gets by on heart and nostalgia. Jesus only knows what non-converts would make of it. But seeing a creaky but enthused Reeves and Winter share the spotlight again is its own reward, Sadler’s Death steals the show and whoever Brigette Lundy-Paine is, she deserves an Oscar. More Bogus Journey than Excellent Adventure but that’s O.K.

5

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Single White Female (1992)

Barbet Schroeder directs Jennifer Jason Leigh, Bridget Fonda and Stephen Tobolowsky in this yuppie-in-peril thriller where a new flatmate proves violently possessive.

Unlike most blank-from-hell movies, you can kinda get behind JJL’s rampaging mayhem here. Fonda goes through her stuff, moans about work constantly and rejects the cute doomed puppy she brings home. Then she expects our villain to be homeless just because she wants her cheating ex back. Stab ‘em all in the eye with a high heel, honey. Rents in Manhattan are too high for that kinda fuckabout.

6

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

The Trout (1982)

Joseph Losey directs Isabelle Huppert, Jacques Spiesser and Jeanne Moreau in this erotic drama where a country girl works her way up the ranks of society as the chaste paramour for a series of wealthy patrons.

The first half hour promises more than the film delivers. We get teen Huppert milking fish and avoiding groping old letchs. Then she is hustling in a bowling alley. Tres chic. Then dumping her fey husband of convenience to go on a business trip to Japan. Then we get a little lost and loose for an hour. Then she’s inadvertently empowering Jeanne Moreau to confront her feckless husband. It all amounts to nothing and certain key plot points about business deals are skirted over with a hurried clumsiness. But Huppert is the tits here… as one of Losey’s trademark class and sexuality obliterating enigmas she holds a ramshackle enterprise together.

6

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Now You See Me (2013)

Louis Leterrier directs Jesse Eisenberg, Isla Fisher and Mark Ruffalo in this magicians-do-heists caper.

This was a surprisingly good blast at the cinema but doesn’t really hold up on rewatch. Glossy, silly but way too beholden to the big twist reveal. There’s a point at the midway mark where it either gets bored of, or can’t figure out a way to allow us to stay with, the main set of criminal conjurors. Which is a mistake in my mind. Everyone is on form in a fantastic ensemble yet it is all just smoke and mirrors by the end credits.

6

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Cursed (2004)

Wes Craven directs Christina Ricci, Jesse Eisenberg and Joshua Jackson in this werewolf horror where to siblings are infected by the beast.

Did you hear about Cursed? The horror film that took two and half years and $40 million to make? Why? Because the Weinsteins had a 90% complete film in the can and decided to completely rewrite and majorly recast it… then they did that again… and then they had a fourth reshoot that took out all the gore. Gone are Rick Barker’s practical creature FX. Gone are any of Kevin Williamson self aware jokes or well executed twists. It pretty much stalled rising star Ricci’s career and slowed Craven down when he could have churned out two or three lower budgeted gems before his death. What we are left with is formless, bloodless and clinical. It goes through the motions with zero imagination and thrills. You can spot scenes and shots where dialogue has been overdubbed, old subplots have been pruned and characters are far younger. Eisenberg manages to hit his now standard acerbic geek schtick well, no matter what obvious wig he is wearing. Ricci has less freedom and the occasional glimpse of her as curvaceous teen jar with the dominant third gen sequences where she is stick thin and an adult. A scarred yet unexceptional film this gets by on the likeability of its exhausted cast and one goofy shot where a werewolf flips us the finger.

4

Check out my wife Natalie’s Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

The Town (2010)

Ben Affleck directs himself, Jeremy Renner and Rebecca Hall in this heist drama where a bank robber falls for one of his hostages but she in unaware of his involvement in their previous encounter.

Pretty run of the mill cops and robbers stuff. But fuck me, do I crave that shit! The ‘jobs’ themselves have a visceral thrill. They are kinetic, immersive and authentic. The romance and drama built around them is a bit more basic and overplayed. Affleck and Hall have nice chemistry but their dating seems to solely consist of miserable monologues. As a classy rehash of dusty themes and well traipsed plots The Town just about gets away with it but it is not of the Gone Baby Gone gold standard.

7

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015)

Josh Whedon directs Robert Downey Jr., Mark Ruffalo and Chris Evans in this Marvel superhero sequel where a rogue A.I. threatens humanity.

God! This has aged awfully in just half a decade. Wafer thin CGI stuntmen, inconsequential infighting, what seems like an hour given over to teases for future films. The ending does get the pulse racing and Elisabeth Olsen looks fetching as an “enhanced” witch. Anything with Mark Ruffalo and Scarlett Johansson sharing scenes is never going to be unwatchable. But this is not a standalone movie experience… it is just mega-bugeted episodic telly in both frustrating form and limited scope.

5

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/