Mike Figgis directs Melanie Griffith, Sean Bean and Tommy Lee Jones in this British neo-noir where a waitress and a nightclub cleaner get in embroiled in a gangland face-off to gentrify Newcastle.

A curious thriller in that it sets up half a dozen potent mini-plots, lets them casually cross paths and yet nothing really comes of it. Sure, there’s torture, a shoot-out and a bomb but none of these incidents reach the level of violence that the brooding atmosphere forebodes and threatens. It just never coalesces and delivers on its nasty promise. Figgis drapes Newcastle in extreme Americana; neon, the Stars and Stripes, visual lifts from Edward Hopper and Weegee abound. Yet we also get some Polish experimental jazz to create a further strange juxtaposition. Griffiths looks delectable, as always, in an underwritten part. Bean does fine in the naive protagonist role. Sting actually is surprisingly effective as the local gangster being hounded off his turf by the Yankee big dogs. It may be that Figgis is aware of the pop star’s limitations and directed him this way, but his Mr Finney has a detached coolness that feels unique in the annals of crime cinema. Not great but noteworthy.

6

Perfect Double Bill: Get Carter (1971)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Henry King directs Gordon MacRae, Shirley Jones and Cameron Mitchell this Rodgers and Hammerstein musical about a wife-beating carny who retells his failures from the afterlife.

What the fuck is this? The hook would appear to be ghost comes back from heaven to help his wife and daughter yet that only takes up a rushed final 20 minutes. There’s not an impressive song and dance sequence to be seen in the first act. The ultimate message is sometimes a woman deserves a whack. Ugh! Aside from the tonal issues, this is made with all the bells and whistles of a big budget Technicolor release of its era. The “June is Bustin’ Out All Over” sequence belongs in a better film. But in general, Carousel is almost trying to be obtuse and unlikable.

4

Perfect Double Bill: Oklahoma (1955)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Marina Sargenti directs Rainbow Harvest, Karen Black and Yvonne De Carlo in this teen horror where a goth girl begins to abuse the vengeful powers which her new demonic mirror grants her.

Boy, oh Boy! Somebody watched Beetle Juice. A bargain basement Winona Ryder cosplays in that Lydia Deetz look for an all new spooky adventure… just don’t expect wisecracking Michael Keaton or zany FX. The movie itself is cheap and predictable but not without a TV movie level of competency. It is unlikely to thrill horror aficionados apart from one particularly nasty shower kill but fills 90 minutes adequately and then ends on a bonkers twist.

4

Perfect Double Bill: The Craft (1996)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Lars von Trier directs Matt Dillon, Bruno Ganz and Uma Thurman in this art film following the acts and justifications of a serial killer.

Lars Von Tedious, more like! I can see what he is trying to do but this is too arch… and has way too much air in it… to be anything but a pretentious frustration.

4

Perfect Double Bill: Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer (1986)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Youssef Chahine directs himself, Farid Shawqi and Hind Rustum in this Egyptian melodrama following the attempts to set up a baggage handler union and a crippled newspaper seller who obsesses over women.

Switches into thriller territory for the last 30 minutes. Pretty accurate study of toxic masculinity and labour organisation. That makes Cairo Station sound preachier than it is. As a big ensemble work combining lots of mature threads and themes this does a fine job. Nippy too at under 75 minutes.

7

Perfect Double Bill: A Short Film About Love (1988)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Walerian Borowczyk directs Lise Danvers, Fabrice Luchini and Charlotte Alexandra in this erotic anthology examining kinky obsessions over the past four centuries.

The first two tales are the best but all look fantastic. Hazy shots of opulent overly decorated settings and extreme close ups of juicy curves. What’s not to like? You can even pretend it is art…

8

Perfect Double Bill: The Decameron (1971)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Max Ophüls directs Madeleine Renaud, Jean Gabin and Claude Dauphin in this French anthology movie based on the short stories of Guy de Maupassant’s set around the Fin de Siècle.

A stranger in an uncanny mask dances the night away in a hectic club. The popular brothel closes up for a day to visit a countryside Holy Communion of a girl. A painter and his model’s marriage turns sour. Two vignettes bookend the longer central tale. Bawdy yet classy, frank and unsentimental. There’s real sparkling visual verve here as Ophüls’ roving camera pans through elaborate sets overspilling with characters and mini subplots. It is a frothing construction, featuring a busy cast of French stars. A winner that clearly influenced both Kubrick and Wes Anderson. I loved the first two mini-movies.

9

Perfect Double Bill: The French Dispatch (2021)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

John Carpenter directs Roddy Piper, Keith David and Meg Foster in this sci-fi thriller satire where a drifter tries on some special sunglasses that reveal humanity is being subjugated by aliens who walk among us.

“I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass… and I’m all out of bubblegum.” One of Carpenter’s less polished efforts. The killer concept proves a helluva hook, there are fabulous quotes, it is prescient as fuck and it features that infamous 6 minute alleyway fistfight. But it is fair to say once the movie shows its hand after an expert paranoid build-up to the big reveal, Carpenter doesn’t take the idea anywhere particularly compelling. The seemingly never ending brawl over a pair of RayBans is maybe Exhibit A that Carpenter did not know where to move this on to after acing the set-up. It is a silly set piece but extraneous.

Meaty Roddy Piper is adequate as John Nada, Keith David as charismatic as ever, but the most fascinating characters are those who are relatively underdeveloped. Meg Foster’s token female’s moral ambiguity is left deliciously unexplained and what’s with that tuxedo guy who thinks he knows the construction worker heroes when they crash the party? There’s part of me that wonders if Carpenter wanted to do more with these two or whether he banged this out as a quick retrofit rewrite of an early draft of Big Trouble In Little China and never ironed out the wrinkles? He loves to recycle, just look at the format similarities between Assault On Precinct 13 and Prince Of Darkness, for example. Maybe that explains the loose ends and overlap between these two projects.

Anyhoo… a fun cult item, even if our grumpy autuer is only at half power. The real juice is the patient yet thrilling sequence where Piper sees the real world for the first time, those colonising blue muscle faced humanoid freaks going about the every day as if they were one of us. It is a perfect 15 minutes and I’m definite the Wachowskis cribbed from it for the first act of The Matrix. What self respecting sci-fi movie couldn’t say that though? This joyously features less five syllable words… though wouldn’t it be fun to see a blocky wrestler try and say ‘simulacra’ and ‘perception’ in the same sentence? Carpenter knows to show, not tell. The rich / poor and them / us dynamic of this is pretty on the nose and maybe that is the reason They Live (along with Trading Places and Brewster’s Millions) is a ripe IP that bizarrely the global corporation which own the rights has never decided to reboot or revisit the well.

7

Perfect Double Bill: Invasion Of The Body Snatchers (1978)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Martin Campbell directs Ray Liotta, Scott Wilson and Lance Henriksen in this sci-fi prison movie where a convict is dumped on a wild secret island where the criminals have divided into two feudal tribes.

I sneaked into Central London to watch No Escape at the shittier Leicester Square Odeon. Probably blew two weeks paper round money and I certainly did not have my parents permission. No idea why this was the movie that made me break the rules and cross the boundaries of how far out of Hanwell I was allowed to go by myself. It was sci-fi, which was my main jam back then. Lance Henrikesen was in it which was the gold seal of approval to 14 year old me. And I all really remember from my illicit trip was the rumble of the Dolby Sound System. The sound system slapped. The movie itself is adequate but still right up my street. It could be a couple of clicks more action heavy. Ray Liotta is far better at menacing than he is straight laced action hero but doesn’t feel out of place. You can tell the Australian production crew loved creating this salvaged feudal world and the sheer scale of the cast and open air sets is genuinely impressive. Probably more so now than back then. The highlight is Scott Wilson’s super hammy dreadlocked villain – kind of a corporate Head of Sales for cannibal living. Not sure how his verbose, genial rotter has managed not to be usurped by his town of savages but I guess that is part of the silly excess. No Escape is precisely as fine and limited as I remember it being but it still hits a spot that isn’t really being catered for anymore. Art is all well and good but violent kinetics are what got me into cinema. This unashamed B-movie delivers with a lack of fuss.

7

Perfect Double Bill: Escape From New York (1981)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Sean Baker directs Kitana Kiki Rodriguez, Mya Taylor and Karren Karagulian in this comedy drama following two trans sex workers over a Christmas night in L.A.

Great Los Angeles location work, filmed on an IPhone, resulting in a fantastic palette of vivid colours. The content itself is a little facile and grating. Either you are going to get swept along with the manic energy or find it exhausting. I enjoyed it as an eye catching feature debut.

6

Perfect Double Bill: The Florida Project (2017)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/