Movie of the Week: Kill Bill: Volume 1 (2003)

Quentin Tarantino directs Uma Thurman, Lucy Liu and Vivica A Fox in this kung-fu action revenge epic where a left for dead assassin hunts down her former team mates.

“Bill… It’s your ba-…” WARGH-WAHHH revenge theme. TV room combat. The school bus pulls up. The Bride’s name is bleeped out. “Fuck you, bitch. I know he didn’t qualify that shit.” Kaboom cereal. Nikki Bell… Volume 3 in waiting. Michael Parks investigates the carnage. A spitter. Whistling Elle and her drawn-on detailed rain mac. Twisted Nerve theme is an absolute earworm. Split screen dressing to kill, De Palma homage. Daryl Hannah is very unpredictable as the unguarded psycho of the piece. She builds up a lot of affection in very few scenes as the utterly unhinged poisoner in residence… not entirely sure why she is such a likeable presence? Buck likes to fuck. Disgusting communal Vaseline. Death by lip removal. Satisfying door frame interrogation. Elvis shades and the Pussy Wagon acquired. “Wiggle your big toe.” Anime origins. W-H-I-M-P-E-R. O-Ren’s sailor moon revenge. Another bullet through the brain. Big toe wiggling achievement unlocked. Sonny Chiba’s sushi shack = Three stars on Tripadvisor: Average food, terrible service, free language tutorials. Samurai sword porn. “If on your journey, you should encounter God, God will be cut.” O-Ren’s silly little waddle across the table. Fountains of blood. THAT yakuza’s amazing appalled face. “I collect your fucking head.” Red Apple cigarettes poster. Riding around Tokyo, listening to tunes. Yellow and Black leather Game of Death biker suits looks oh-so cool… why aren’t we all just wearing them as standard? House of the Blue Leaves = Five stars on Tripadvisor: Live music, private rooms, no pepperoni pizzas, hot and cold running yakuzas. The 5, 6, 7, 8’s. Spider-Bride. Ridiculous tracking shot. We are already down to a Crazy 83. “You call that begging?” Go Go Yubari swing out sister of death. Go Go gets nailed. The gang’s all here. Trademark eye snatch. Monochrome censorship. Can never spot QT’s alleged cameo in this chaotic sequence?! Johnny Mo’s wirework. Thurman must have trained like a motherfucker for this sheer unprecedented amount of sustained action combat. Her and Zoe Bell’s stunt work is sublime. Baby-faced hanger-on gets samurai sword spanked. The final stand-off is meant to be savoured. Latino Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood. Tension increasing water feature. Japanese winter garden so pretty. I would have dropped the cliffhanger just before O-Ren and the Bride locked swords. Exhausted Bride, we are on your side! Scalp in the snow, brain exposed. “That really was a Hattori Hanzo sword.” The Bride makes her list, like my wife she likes her admin. Are swords acceptable inflight carry-on luggage? Unanswered question: Who owns that other sword on the aisle seat opposite? Teases and revelations. Flash forward to Budd being reasonable… she does deserve her revenge, Budd. Who’s up for part 2 right away??? Thurman’s finest hour – she imbues the Bride with a potent mix of badassness, vulnerability and just a shade of cartoonish goofyness. An icon is born and even if it is 110% purloined homage, it all melds together into the coolest action movie ever.


Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here

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