John Milius directs Patrick Swayze, Charlie Sheen and Lea Thompson in this “what if” war movie where a group of all- American guerrilla teens protect their hometown from a Soviet occupation.

Rough and grim. This is gritty and bruised, rarely fun. The renegade kids are battle hardened and dehumanised fast. Easily the strangest outlier of The Brat Pack era. So right wing, so gruelling it is hard to absorb as a Saturday night entertainment. Feels more like a teen 1984 or Threads. Miserablist Cold War propaganda. And yet my biggest take home was the subplot dry run for Johnny Castle and Baby from Dirty Dancing having a third act promance.

5

Perfect Double Bill: Flight Of The Intruder (1991)

Michael Mann directs Johnny Depp, Christian Bale and Marion Cotillard in this period true crime drama following John Dillinger’s crime wave in the Depression era.

Still leaves me a little cold. The characters remain distant blanks, the handheld digital camerawork doesn’t suit the 1930s recreation. Fantastic cast, strong action. I expect more from Mann and this can’t help but feel like a misstep in a waxwork museum.

6

Perfect Double Bill: Miami Vice (2006)

I write regular features about live comedy for British Comedy Guide here https://www.comedy.co.uk/people/bobby_carroll/features/ and my own Substack https://substack.com/@edinburghlaughterbulletin

Zacharias Mavroeidis directs Yorgos Tsiantoulas, Andreas Labropoulos and Nikolaos Mihas in the gay Greek comedy where a screenwriter tries to write a romance drama with lashings of sex and nudity after a break-up.

Feels very much like the film Almodovar should have made in the nineties. The leads are likeable even when their characters aren’t. The meta stuff is pitched just about right.

7

Perfect Double Bill: Hot Milk (2025)

Kinji Fukasaku directs Bunta Sugawara, Satoshi “Tetsu” Sakai, Sonny Chiba, Kin’ya Kitaōji, Meiko Kaji, Akira Kobayashi, Takeshi Katō, Mikio Narita, Kunie Tanaka, Shingo Yamashiro, Nobuo Kaneko and Joe Shishido in the Japanese crime series following the internal gang wars between the various Hiroshima yakuza brotherhoods during their formative decades.

The sequels continue the tabloid cascade of hits, failed hits, in house politicking and grovelling betrayals. Don’t get used to any character as they are unlikely to survive longer than three scene appearances. Oily bosses vamp and whine. Brutally honourable men like Bunta Sugawara’s de facto protagonist pay the price for all the back stabbing.

The whole series needs you to be in the right mood to sync with it. It can easily blur into one big roll call of death. Some Japanese B-Movie superstars stand out. Sonny Chiba, obviously. Akira Kobayashi’s cigarette holder wielding suave wiggler also. Yet even though these should all be the stamp of each other the fourth episode left me cold. The only memorable moment over 100 minutes of it was a shotgun with a sawn-off spike bayonet rifle.

I wonder, if like The Wire, the more you rewatch these the more characters you grow to love and detest and care about?

7 / 6 / 5 / 8

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Jonathan Dayton and Valerie Faris direct Abigail Breslin, Toni Collette and Greg Kinnear in this road movie where a dysfunctional family travel across America so their youngest girl can take part in a beauty pageant.

This gets the sweet and sour mix of emotional manipulation of cynical comedy just about right. It is one of the few movies that has both National Lampoon’s Vacation and The Royal Tenenbaums as touchstones. Far more messy and middle class than Wes Anderson. A strong first act and an iconic finale does mean the middle section of on road disasters and off road realisations plays out a little obviously. But it gifted the world Breslin and Paul Dano! Two weirdo talents I’ll always have time for.

8

Perfect Double Bill: Dumplin’ (2018)

Jennifer Kaytin Robinson directs Chase Sui Wonders, Madelyn Cline and Tyriq Withers in the requel of the nineties slasher favourite.

Not going to be too harsh on this one. It is playful, with gory kills and a charismatic game cast of newbies. The legacy cast members are well served and generously included. I was surprised at least twice. The balance between tribute and workable standalone teen horror is pretty much achieved. I even think the new title font choice is an improvement. The line “You know, this whole thing could’ve been avoided if men would just go to therapy” stank the epilogue out though. Do you not remember why all this just happened to you all? Still better than Still.

6

Perfect Double Bill: The Black Phone 2 (2025)

I write regular features about live comedy for British Comedy Guide here https://www.comedy.co.uk/people/bobby_carroll/features/ and my own Substack https://substack.com/@edinburghlaughterbulletin

Gareth Edwards directs Scarlett Johansson, Mahershala Ali and Jonathan Bailey in this monster movie adventure reboot where mercenaries, suits, scientists and a stranded family go to another secret island full of dinosaurs.

Yeah… it involves gargantuans, slow plotting and melodrama but this is probably Edwards’ most anonymous work. They somehow crowbar a kid into it again. I don’t care about mutant dinosaurs. Quibbles aside, it does have a few good set pieces and Scarlett Johansson. Blatantly inessential but you could say that of every JP sequel since 1993.

6

Perfect Double Bill: 65 (2023)

Matt Cooper, Martin Kunert and David Semel directs Ron Livingston, James Marsden and Amy Smart in this tame TV horror anthology where various well known American spooky stories are recreated with “before they were famous” B-Listers.

Urban Legends Bonus Feature.

3

Perfect Double Bill: When A Stranger Calls (2006)

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Scott Roberts directs Guy Pearce, Rachel Griffiths and Joel Edgerton in this Australian heist thriller where three brothers rob the Melbourne Cup.

Neat little caper where the three actors playing brothers have a nice chemistry together. There’s nothing new here but it doesn’t take itself too seriously, there’s a good on foot chase and a couple of laughs. Probably moves just a little slow for repeated viewings.

6

Perfect Double Bill: Memento (2000)

James Gunn directs David Corenswet, Rachel Brosnahan and Nicholas Hoult in this reboot of the DC superhero flagship.

Zingy, colourful, timely. The political content is going to age this, hopefully like wine. Highlights include Krypto and a tense escape from an inter-dimensional prison. Hoult as Lex Luther was the casting I was most excited about but he actually feels a little subdued until the final moments. A solid summer blockbuster that won me over the deeper it went into it own little ‘freak show as family entertainment’ mindset. Stick to your James Gunns.

7

Perfect Double Bill: The Suicide Squad (2021)

I write regular features about live comedy for British Comedy Guide here https://www.comedy.co.uk/people/bobby_carroll/features/ and my own Substack https://substack.com/@edinburghlaughterbulletin