John Korty directs Warwick Davies, Eric Walker and Aubree Miller in this sci-fi spin off kids adventure where some kids crash land on Endor and enlist Wicket into helping them find their parents.
The below score is very, very generous. Caravan Of Courage really is insipid, whiny, scenes dwindle on for three times their natural life. It was originally intended as a 30 minute special that somehow got stretched beyond all practicality to feature lenth. It takes a good 45 minutes before we even set off on our The Hobbit rip-off mission. Yet this pair of Ewok TV movies are the last Star Wars of the analogue era, so the production design (Joe Johnston) in a natural environment is at the very least incredible. I love a wallop of practical world building, so quickly switched off from the kiddie plotting and just enjoyed it as an almost ambient visual experience. Now, even watched with that magnanimous sense of spirit, I was shaken into almost kicking Caravan Of Courage to death by some shockingly cheap Ed Wood level unspecial FX. The spider attack is stanky and the oldest Ewok looks like taxidermy come back to life. All in all, this largely forgotten series of Ewok spin-offs are stinkers but a Star Wars stinker is never going to be completely unwatchable or unforgiveable.
4
Perfect Double Bill: Ewoks: The Battle for Endor (1985)
John Irvin directs Arnold Schwarzenegger, Kathryn Harrold and Darren McGavin in this action thriller where an undercover agent / Sherriff / witness protection ‘hidee’ infiltrates the mob and destroys it from the inside.
The plot is incomprehensible at times and Arnie should never do romance. He’s also given an unforgivable dorky haircut. The action eventually starts to come with increasing regularity and has a robust Dirty Harry / Death Wish vibe… only bigger. Arnie takes on a quarry full of bad guys while listening to The Rolling Stone. Good enough for me. Couldn’t care less about the reason why he’s there. It isn’t enough to completely justify a rather humorless and tonally off project. The big man and a slick Robert Davi visit a Trans stripclub in an awkwardly dated WTF moment. Will give Arnie his due though… you can see him becoming a better actor over the course of the film. Doubt they shot it in sequence but this seems like an essential if forgotten step in his evolution from bodybuilder to A-List superstar.
James Wong directs Jet Li, Jet Li and Jason Statham in this action sci-fi thriller where a man is chased by his alternative self who has been crossing dimensions to kill off all his parallel lives.
Highlander meets The Matrix, only it has been done at least four times before with JCVD. Not the best showcase for Li’s physicality AND, if we are being brutal, he struggles to play two separate personalities. He either looks stressed or scowls. The motions waste Carla Gugino and Delroy Lindo somehow. The Stath’s big Hollywood debut sees him mainly spout exposition with a terrible accent… so he’s the highlight! Has that meh too smooth aesthetic of millennium pivoting soft sci-fi. Decent closing set-piece and brilliant sign off shot. “I am Yulaw! I am nobody’s bitch! You are mine.”
Geoffrey Wright directs Brittany Murphy, Jay Mohr and Michael Biehn in this slasher movie where an unknown killer is eviscerating teen virgins thus encouraging the high school population to lose it before they lose out.
Passed around various distributors in America after its original studio’s went up for sale and then Columbine, this was eventually released in an obviously heavily edited form as a TV movie. Frustratingly, this is also the version they dropped into British cinemas. You can still tell what a nasty little shocker Cherry Falls initially was before being censored. They might have taken out a fair chunk of sex and violence but the atmosphere of the thing is very 18 certificate. Closer to early Fincher in mood than most glossy Scream rip-offs. The whodunnit aspect works, there’s a nice quirky sense of humour to all the sexed-up atmosphere. Wright probably could have eked out the stalk sequences a titch more but the chaotic finale makes up for the stunted carnage in the first two acts. The recognisable members of the cast are pretty sweet, especially Murphy, and while it doesn’t reinvent the wheel, it spins on its sharpened edge effectively throughout. The seediest entry of its cycle.
Rawson Marshall Thurber directs Vince Vaughn, Ben Stiller and Christine Taylor in this sports comedy spoof where two competing gyms enter an international DodgeBall tournament.
“Holy hell, son, you’re about as useful as a cock-flavored lollipop!” Creaking with jokes and silly characters. Some are killer (Steve the Pirate, Christine Taylor’s unicorn filled home, Jason Bateman’s off-his-nut commentator), some are grinding (Stiller makes for a truly hissable villain but the scenes where he is given too much rope are exhausting). I really rate Vince Vaughn here – he finds his own schlubby yellow sticker Chevy Chase space among all the zaniness – carves out a sizeable chunk of the movie to himself just by underplaying. It is sizzlingly colourful, and the competition stuff is surprisingly pretty gripping. There are an overload of cameos – Chuck Norris, William Shatner, Lance Armstrong AND Hank Azaria all get one scene walk-ons. This isn’t a project that has ever heard the phrase less is more. Imperfect but very rewatchable.
Morten Tyldum directs Benedict Cumberbatch, Keira Knightley and Matthew Goode in this true story of the gay mathematics genius Alan Turing – who invented a device that could decrypt the Nazi enigma machine and fathered modern computers.
Enjoyed this more at the cinema. It is well made, quite engaging in spurts, a story worth telling. Yet my unabated prejudice towards Benedict Cumberbatchreallygot in the way of this rewatch.
Yasuharu Hasebe directs Akiko Wada, Meiko Kaji and Kôji Wada in this gang movie where a lone biker girl catches the eye of various rumbling factions.
Akiko Wada: Denim clad, stony faced, cool as fuck. Underpass rumbles. A fixed fight. Conspiracy between yazuza and the authorities. Nightclub scenes so bands can break up the action in bopping interludes. A dangerous chase through an underground mall. Female empowerment with very little titillation.
6
Wild Jumbo(1970)
Toshiya Fujita directs Bunjaku Han, Meiko Kaji and Tatsuya Fuji in this gang movie where a group of wacky toughs take a trip to the beach and a plan for larceny emerges.
Feels like a film that has been reconditioned last minute to be a sequel. There’s a few sneaky edits to include footage of Akiko Wada in her denims to suggest this is the same universe. She doesn’t interact with the characters or plot. The tone fluctuates wildly: across the tracks romance, pranks and hanging about a la Porkys or American Pie, eventually an ambient heist movie. Ends on a Wild Bunch inspired finale – though you can’t believe we got there from the middle act though of mooning and mooching. Wild Jumbo has nice moments – an early freeze frame echoes into the tragedy of the conclusion. This has some film-making giblets, these movies don’t need such lovely visual poetry. And there’s a nice subplot with some dangerous buried treasure. Random. But the gang is mainly middle-aged clowns playing young and that’s ultimately not really want you want from a Japanese girl gang exploitation flick.
5
Sex Hunter (1970)
Yasuharu Hasebe directs Meiko Kaji, Rikiya Yasuoka and Tatsuya Fuji in this Japanese gang movie where racial disharmony creates violence in Yokosuka.
Now this is the one I saw at the NFT as part of their Japanese Exploitation season around 15 or so years ago. Meiko Kaji looks stunning in her iconic black and white extreme cavalier get up. Racism and rape tackled. Overwrought death sequences – edited like a five-year-old is cutting a music video. Loads of cool framing and intercuts. Western vibes, sniper finale, branded Coke bottles a-gogo. It is all very close but this is still my personal highlight of the series.
6
Machine Animal (1970)
Yasuharu Hasebe directs Meiko Kaji, Tatsuya Fuji and Bunjaku Han in this Japanese gang movie where the girls rob and then help a Vietnam deserter and his drug dealing buddies.
Most straightforward – 500 hits of LSD are worth a million yen and everyone wants to sell them. The girls steal a shipment of Mini Honda bikes at one point, chase the antagonists around the streets and then return the cute motors to the showroom. Anti-Vietnam message, spaghetti Western score. Runs out of steam but inoffensive.
6
Beat ’71 (1970)
Toshiya Fujita directs Tatsuya Fuji, Yoshio Harada and Meiko Kaji in this Japanese gang tale where a group of weirdos chase a lost member to his hometown only to find he is being held hostage by his domineering father.
Everyone is back for one last romp involving girls framed for murder, drop-out hippie druggies (not convincing) doing cons and two unloved sons. Not enough Meiko Kaji and we are three further films since the awesome Akiko Wada was stealing all the focus. Why do the goofiest entries end in the biggest massacres? Dynamite, rabbits, fake wild west. Even the pop bands are questioning why they have turned up to be in this one.
Kathryn Bigelow directs Keanu Reeves, Patrick Swayze and Gary Busey in the action thriller where a rookie FBI agent learns to surf, hoping catch a gang of bank robbing hedonists.
Seminal genre cinema. The surfing, skydiving and barely concealed homoerotic subtext have an almost spiritual flow. When action happens it is fast and brutal. The pounding, weaving footchase is the highlight. And all the jeopardy is pretty immersive and rattling, the plot supplies a second half jam packed with stunts and barneys. Reeves turns a little corner here, moving away from himbo comedy projects and maturing towards the fine A-Lister we know and love. “100%, Utah. Good job!” Swayze is off on another plane, existential villain / guru. Busey and Lori Petty make stock roles likeable, memorable. Mark Isham’s crashing score keeps the pace. Fantastic Saturday night on the VHS rental – Michael Mann meets extreme sports fever dream. “Little hand says it’s time to Rock’N’Roll!”
Zach Cregger directs Georgina Campbell, Bill Skarsgård and Justin Long in this horror mystery where… listen… the less you know… the better.
Just a wild ride… and a really balanced satire on modern day Western decline. But still with enough gore, shocks and transgressions to really thrill as a creepy midnight show rollercoaster. A comedian I really rate, Alfie Brown, recently wrote an off-hand tweet that has haunted me since. “What if this is early stage capitalism?” This film feels very attuned to the nightmare that evokes if you think about it all for more than a few seconds.
Samuel Armstrong, James Algar, Bill Roberts, Paul Satterfield, Ben Sharpsteen, David D. Hand, Hamilton Luske, Jim Handley, Ford Beebe, T. Hee, Norman Ferguson and Wilfred Jackson direct this animated anthology movie set to classical music.
Walt Disney’s boldest experiment but probably the most mealy mouthed in terms of entertainment. The iconic Sorcerer’s Apprentice (starring Mickey) and genuinely creepy Night On Bald Mountain finale are pretty spectacular but rest are drawn out – neato visual ideas that do not stretch to sync up with their orchestral pieces. It is never a Disney I’m particularly pumped about revisiting. The amount of times we paused it or found ourselves on our phones during this rewatch were pretty damning. Not sure I’d seek it out again unless there was a viewing project that made a rewatch essential.
Bobby Carroll's Movie Diary 