Bobby Carroll's Movie Diary

Richard Brooks directs Elizabeth Taylor, Paul Newman and Burl Ives in this Tennessee Williams drama where a drunk heir, his sexually frustrated wife and a rich plantation owner work through their beefs on a stormy night.

How strange to watch something that was shocking and controversial in its day through modern eyes. Even though every hint that Newman’s Brick Pollitt had a gay romance with his football buddy has been smothered or removed by Hollywood you can plainly tell his life on the down-low is what is eating him up. What other reason could there be not to want to impregnate a peak Elizabeth Taylor? This leads to a whole lotta housebound talk about wills. Shouting, recriminations, some salty Southern bitchiness. If Newman and Taylor didn’t look so sultry it might be a bit of a droning bore, defanged as it is.

6

Check out my wife Natalie’s Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Bo Burnham directs Elsie Fisher, Josh Hamilton and Emily Robinson in this coming of age drama where a quiet, lonely girl tries too hard to fit in.

A bit too raw and painful to enjoy. Brutal. Close to the bone. Like being kicked in the face by a bright bit of marketing. It is admirable that there’s a current film out for smart kids that promotes self-esteem over fitting in. But it ain’t enjoyable to watch a bright and self aware child be fucked around or ignored by the vapidly popular and predatory. Very well made but not something I’d want to sit through again.

6

Check out my wife Natalie’s Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Reginald Hudlin directs Eddie Murphy, Robin Givens and Halle Berry in this romantic comedy where a sexist lothario has the tables turned on him when his hot new female boss humps and dumps him.

Critical reputation and vague memories of this meant I was expecting a poor and bland no-brainier half watch experience. But Natalie and I laughed our arses off at this on rewatch. Some of comedy is very broad and most is nicely down and dirty. The support cast is thick with big, showstopping turns… Eartha Kitt, Grace Jones, Geoffrey Holder, John Witherspoon, Tisha Campbell and Chris Rock have all been given the directions get laughs or go home. They kill. Leaving Eddie to seduce the gorgeous ladies, deliver some nicer, subtler jokes and go through a well paced emotional arc. It is glossy and sprawling and full of daft bits. Well worth a second try.

8

Check out my wife Natalie’s Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Robert Rodriguez directs Johnny Depp, Antonio Banderas and Eva Mendes in this chaotic conclusion to the El Mariachi trilogy.

This has aged poorly, I remember it being a blast in the cinema. This watch… not so much. Just too many plots and triple crosses and pointless villains. Something this scribbly is the exact opposite of the pure Leone spaghetti western vision it aspires to or the clean comic book carnage of its two predecessors. Banderas’ lead gets sidelined to support character. Depp steals the show as a gleefully detestable C.I.A. puppetmaster. Salma Hayek is fridged before start of play and only seen in flashbacks. These flashback action barneys are the only scenes that match the winning excess and verve of Desperado. Everything else is silly rather than suspenseful, talky rather than walky. Eva Mendes, Enrique Iglesias and the setting of Culiacán look hot as fuck. But any film where the lookers make more of an impact than the character actor royalty that is Willem Dafoe, Mickey Rourke or Rueben Blades is clearly being very wasteful and indulgent.

5

Check out my wife Natalie’s Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Yûzô Kawashima directs Furankî Sakai, Sachiko Hidari and Yôko Minamida in this Japanese period comedy where a conman runs up a huge bill at a brothel and becomes an integral member of the business paying off his debt.

Light hearted fun. Like a Robert Altman film this is packed with small side characters and cheeky interactions away from the winning, fast-talking protagonist. A good companion piece to Kawashima’s Red Light District.

7

Check out my wife Natalie’s Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Frédéric Petitjean directs Jean Reno, Sarah Lind and Joe Anderson in this thriller where a retired hitman lets an injured woman with a murky agenda recuperate in his secluded cabin.

Although it leans heavily on Reno’s Leon legacy, this never comes to life. The flat yet ambitious timewaster is overly fussily plotted and shows its production compromises in every scene. Set in America but shot in the Ukraine, this feature unconvincing shots of Eastern European locations set-dressed with the Stars N Stripes, all supporting actors are poorly dubbed and the producers have used their sports cars and coke party pied-à-terres as tax write-offs in the film rather than hire convincing props. Reno, Lind and Joe Anderson do better work than the script deserves but for a film that teases Besson-style revenge pyrotechnics, you only get a few shots fired and then the end credits.

4

Check out my wife Natalie’s Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Michael Chaves directs Linda Cardellini, Raymond Cruz and Patricia Velasquez in this housebound horror where a single mother social worker uncovers a child killing curse.

For a spin-off PG-13 horror this has a strong visual sense and tries for dread rather than constant jumps. It just never is particularly scary. Cardinelli makes for a winning lead and rocks her seventies vintage wardrobe. Doesn’t hang around long enough to be bad.

4

Check out my wife Natalie’s Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

The Big Red N has produced some iffy content. And bought up some dross that studios thought was pretty much unreleasable. Those films that appear on the algorithmed menu twice a week are often pap, difficult labours of love by auteurs or Adam Sandler flicks. Taking a punt on a Netflix Original is a lot like renting the last movie you haven’t seen in the video rental shops of old. About 500 are chaff, but there has been some wheat. Here are my favourites of the movies they funded or provided a platform for when no one else would.

Check out my wife Natalie’s Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Sergio Leone directs Charles Bronson, Henry Fonda and Claudia Cardinale in this epic spaghetti western where a widow needs to protect her land from mysterious forces as the new railroad approaches.

A journey so massive that Ennio Morricone does not produce just one brilliant score, he conjures 5! Who wouldn’t be seduced by dreamy Claudia Cardinale digging her heels in the scrabble and standing her ground as everyone fights around her? Morricone delivers an aria for her stubborn beauty. And then we have our man-of-the-match; the playful and wise and wistful bandit Cheyenne! Jason Robards gets a springy theme to match his wiley lethalness. We know eventually Harmonica and Frank are gonna face-off. Is there a deeper story in the mournful dirge they share? Vengeance bides its time then comes hard, crosses are doubled and then tripled! You are gonna have to be fast with those guns and patient with your draw as Leone masterfully moves all his icons into position. It is worth the wait, worth the long drawn-out moments of gorgeous inaction. Once Upon a Time in the West is one of the greatest films made, it makes waiting for death one the most beautiful cinema experiences ever.

10

Check out my wife Natalie’s Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Eric Stoltz directs Skyler Gisondo, Olivia Holt and Bruce Dern in this sweet romantic teen comedy where an ambitious female student tries to get an overly dedicated nerd classmate to be elected to the adult board of education.

Here’s a film just happy being what it is. You can see echoes of Rushmore but it has none of Wes Anderson’s artier pretentiousness. The core of Election but without the vicious satirical bite that Payne marinates his universe in. The adolescent seductiveness of Some Kind of Wonderful but lacking Hughes’ need to make the kids maturer or hornier than the adults. This stays colourful, cute, innocent and charming as it tells its tale. It helps that Holt and Gisondo are hugely adorable presences that you just want to see the movie do its simple, unfussy cycle and let them end up together once all pre-ordained obstacles are leapt. Gisondo was a stand-out in Santa Clarita Diet. This was clearly filmed before but now he has hit adulthood he really deserves a few shots at leading some more comedies. The below score is generous but reflects how easily the movie won me over and made my night.

7

Check out my wife Natalie’s Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/