Bobby Carroll's Movie Diary

David O. Russell directs George Clooney, Mark Wahlberg and Ice Cube in this action comedy ‘with a heart’ set around the end of the first Iraq war.

It is the one where Marky Mark gets tortured. The one where George Clooney and his director got into a fistfight on set. The one where Spike Jonze puts in a pretty serviceable full time comedy relief. The one that feels like a proper himbo blockbuster in the mould of Kelly’s Heroes… But satirises and goes on the offensive over American military action in the Middle East. The one that is shot on Ektachrome transparency stock that was cross-processed in colour negative chemicals, to create a scorched, toxic look. The one that is silly, then brutal, then rousing. A Hollywood studio is unlikely to invest a blockbuster budget into anything like this abrasive yet entertaining scrapper ever again. Three Kings is one of the unsung greats of its strange little era of premium entertainments.

9

Perfect Double Bill: The Hurt Locker (2008)

David Nutter directs James Marsden, Katie Holmes and Nick Stahl in this teen sci-fi horror where someone is reprogramming teenagers to be perfect students with violent side effects.

Not quite The Faculty or The X-Files but moves at a fair clip and has some salty, freaky moments. When the Blue Ribbons clique glitches it is excessively aggressive. And I’m there for that. More probably could be made of the fact that it is teen horniness which messes with their brain washing and turns them full tilt psycho. Katie Holmes is given a very uneven character. The unintentional upshot is you aren’t quite sure if she has been microchipped in the finale. And she does fully deck a fragile mental institution patient in the best all-out horror sequence.

6

Perfect Double Bill: The Skulls (2000)

I write regular features about live comedy for British Comedy Guide here https://www.comedy.co.uk/people/bobby_carroll/features/ and my own Substack https://substack.com/@edinburghlaughterbulletin

Joe Pytka directs Michael Jordan, Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck in this family sports movie where Michael Jordan plays basketball with the Looney Tunes to save them from intergalactic enslavement.

I was just that little bit too old to be bothered about Space Jam when it came out so this is a belated first time watch. Not as ambitious as Roger Rabbit yet SJ actually is A-OK. The human basketball stars are game and capable of lampooning themselves sweetly. We get plenty of Looney Tunes fan service. Bill Murray has a nice extended cameo. It maybe isn’t as bonkers as you might expect as a fan of the old cartoons but it keeps things moving fast and keeps everything simple. Wouldn’t be averse to a second watch.

6

Perfect Double Bill: Looney Tunes: Back In Action (2003)

Jon Watts directs George Clooney, Brad Pitt and Amy Ryan in this buddy comedy where two professional fixers turn up to deal with the same corpse.

Of the Apple TV streaming bound glossy thrillers that reunite two Ocean’s Elevens co-stars released last year Wolfs was the more promising… but I preferred The Instigators. That had a nice, unforced old school energy, this just tries too hard. Feels like something I would have attempted to write when I was 15 after watching Pulp Fiction on a loop. You can’t deny that Clooney and Pitt have spades of charisma or that it isn’t handsomely shot (like a wintery whisky commercial) but you never feel like the smart alec smooth talkers are ever in above their heads. It glides on a rail when it should be chaotic. Once it is over you’ll struggle to remember much but empty slickness.

5

Perfect Double Bill: The Instigators (2024)

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Chuck Russell directs Kim Basinger, Jimmy Smits and Rufus Sewell in this horror conspiracy flick where a cult of devil worshippers try to take custody of a lady’s autistic niece.

A calendar that didn’t exist when the prophecy and apocryphal doomsaying was written. The old millennium switching over 25 years back introduced a swathe of new messiah / apocalypse B-movies. Stigmata. Dogma. End Of Days. Lost Souls. This was probably the most traditional. There isn’t a ton of terror and the CGI demons are rotten but the narrative is at least involving. It’s the end of the world as we know it and this is fine.

4

Perfect Double Bill: Lost Souls (2001)

Joel Schumacher directs Chris Rock, Anthony Hopkins and Kerry Washington in this action comedy where a streetwise scalper is recruited by the CIA to impersonate his long lost twin brother and save the free world.

Bruckheimer By Numbers.

4

Perfect Double Bill: Head Of State (2003)

I write regular features about live comedy for British Comedy Guide here https://www.comedy.co.uk/people/bobby_carroll/features/ and my own Substack https://substack.com/@edinburghlaughterbulletin

Roger Kumble directs Sarah Michelle Gellar, Ryan Phillippe and Reese Witherspoon in this teen movie update on Dangerous Liaisons.

I haven’t seen this since opening weekend at High Street Kensington Odeon. A gleefully absurd movie. Naff yet opulent. Raunchy yet lacking in much real nudity (you get to peek at Phillippe’s rock solid buns from a far). The post Britpop soundtrack is perfect, none so more as when Bittersweet Symphony needle drops at the end to wrap things up in an utterly sincere ‘just desserts’ moment of tables have turned justice. How would Pierre Choderlos de Laclos, or even John Malkovich, feel about this American Pie / Clueless / Lifestyles Of The Rich and Shameless bastardisation of their finest work? Who cares! SMG and Selma Blair cook, let them heat up the leftovers.

7

Perfect Double Bill: Simply Irresistible (1999)

Carol Frank directs Angela O’Neill, Wendy Martel and Pamela Ross in this slasher where a young co-ed is haunted by flashbacks of a killer.

One of the better Halloween The 13th on a shoestring knock-offs. The acting is above par. Has a dreamy, almost arty vibe… at times nuzzling into Twin Peaks territory. And the mandatory T&A sequence is cute and healthy. The final twenty minutes of stalking and killing probably starts a little too late in the proceedings but is relentless. Worth a reevaluation. Scouring Tubi / Freevee pays off every now and then.

6

Perfect Double Bill: The Prey (1983)

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Woody Allen directs himself, Mira Sorvino and Helena Bonham-Carter in this comedy where a writer traces the identity of his adopted son’s mother only to find out she is a sex worker.

… Oh, and a Greek chorus comments on proceedings. Allen attempts to do “an early funny one” with mixed results. Mira’s Oscar winning helium voiced performance and the interruptions by the chorus are both the only noteworthy things and can be very grating in turns. Shocking to think in the Nineties that Allen could turn out just about anything and it would be a shoo-in with Academy voters. Passable.

5

Perfect Double Bill: Manhattan Murder Mystery (1993)

Sam Raimi directs Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst and Topher Grace in this threequel that sees Peter Parker face three villains: Sandman, Harry Osborn and Venom.

A massive hit but derided on the internet. Is it all that bad? The first half is genuinely strong. Business as usual for this iteration. We care deeply about Peter and MJ. Harry Osborne is plotting. The transformation of the Sandman is spectacular (if a little dated now). The second half doesn’t so much go off the rails as just deflate. The Venom strand is too rushed. There is little action until the perfunctory finale. The awkward dance sequences are not what the fans want. Yet it isn’t wildly off par from what came before. No matter what the memes tell you. I would have bought an opening weekend ticket to Raimi / Maguire / Dunst’s fourth spin.

6

Perfect Double Bill: Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021)

I write regular features about live comedy for British Comedy Guide here https://www.comedy.co.uk/people/bobby_carroll/features/ and my own Substack https://substack.com/@edinburghlaughterbulletin