Bobby Carroll's Movie Diary

Ciro Guerra directs Nilbio Torres, Antonio Bolívar and Jan Bijvoet in this Colombian period adventure where twice in one lifetime an indigenous shaman helps white explorers find a rare flower.

Stunning lush monochrome on-location cinematography from David Gallego. This is a spin on Conrad’s Heart of Darkness told from the native’s point of view. Two adventures down river, both taking German experts, once as a young man, the next as a wise man. Hidden agendas, exploitation, madness, enlightenment. Really thrilling, classy stuff.

8

Perfect Double Bill: Birds of Passage (2019)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

David Cronenberg directs Jeremy Irons, Jeremy Irons and Geneviève Bujold in this strange tale of twin gynaecologists whose lives deteriorate when one falls for a woman.

Surprisingly based on a true story. The glacial pace always put me off on previous watches but this third attempt clicked a little more with me. There is some nice eroticism to some of the seductions. Geneviève Bujold is impressive as the distant and flawed actress who disrupts the brothers connection. The nightmare (strange surgical devices, emotion as STD, madness) lingers around the sidelines. It ain’t going to satisfy on a Friday night but it still has enough psychological robustness to be worthy of the talents’ time.

6

Perfect Double Bill: Big Business (1988)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Fritz Lang directs Marlene Dietrich, Arthur Kennedy and Mel Ferrer in this western where a vengeful assayer looks for his wife’s killers, growing to believe they are being sheltered at a criminal hideout called Chuck-a-Luck.

Pretty standard and cheap revenge tale brightened by a couple of rousing shootouts and chases. Where it stands out is exploring the mythology of Dietrich’s showgirl matriarch and by extension the star herself. Her name keeps cropping up in Arthur (dull) Kennedy’s quest… and each time it does we get a joyful flashback to her escapades. Once we are in the secret ranch she owns at the midway point suddenly romance is ignited and everyone is playing against everyone like one of those Tarantino mock-whodunnits. There are random pleasures here even if all the overall form that ties it together is worn and ragged.

7

Perfect Double Bill: Destry Rides Again (1939)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Danny DeVito directs Mara Wilson, himself and Embeth Davidtz in this kids movie adaptation of the Roald Dahl classic.

I was checking out from family movies at this point in my teens – only Disney and Dahl could turn my head. Strongly stylised visuals from DeVito. Nice casting. The transplantation to the United States irks awkwardly at some moments, some blows are understandably softened here, but all in all this is pretty solid. Upbeat soundtrack choices.

7

Perfect Double Bill: James & The Giant Peach (1996)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Ron Shelton directs Kevin Costner, Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins in the romantic comedy where the sexy muse for her local minor league baseball team has to choose between the gauche up-and-comer and a seasoned journeyman.

Sultry. Sexier and funnier than it has any right to be. The writing is sheer poetry. Sarandon is on fire. Ron Shelton was a former minor league baseball player and used his experience as the basis for the story. The baseball doesn’t really matter however. This is about belief. About philosophy. About acceptance. Home run. Just a lovely way to spend a Saturday night.

“Well, I believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman’s back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.”

8

Perfect Double Bill: White Men Can’t Jump (1992)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Mike Barker directs Mila Kunis, Finn Wittrock and Connie Britton in this drama where a successful journalist begins to relive her past traumas (a series of rapes and a school shooting) during the build-up to her wedding day.

Jessica Knoll’s 2015 bestseller was clearly prescient of the #metoo movement… and so was ripe for adaptation. You couldn’t accuse her of cashing in on the bandwagon though Luckiest Girl Alive does share a lot of DNA with the fad films that were rushed into production in the movements wake. This feels like it has just a bit more meat on its bones as a drama and even as an entertainment rather than being a mere awkward to consume echo chamber piece. Kunis gives a spiky central turn, Barker has some smart visual choices up his sleeve – especially when mixing the two jarring time lines. It is admirably hard going during some sequences… though should trauma be this glossy?… and there are four epilogues when one would suffice. Still, worth a punt if you are feeling brave.

6

Perfect Double Bill: Promising Young Woman (2020)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Olivia Wilde directs Florence Pugh, Harry Styles and Chris Pine in this sci-fi mystery where a housewife begins to grow paranoid about her idyllic existence in a conformist community shut off from the rest of the world.

Is it The Truman Show? Is it The Matrix? Is it The Stepford Wives? Is it Get Out? Spends three acts getting to a point when most narratives have establish themselves in 30 minutes. It leaves you with too much downtime to guess ahead. The sinister stuff doesn’t hit hard enough, the sexy stuff is very front loaded. There is one stinker of a performance yet even the reliable Pugh and invaluable Pine struggle to find much room to dazzle in this glossy but sterile trap. Lacks engagement and coherence, just sits there looking pretty.

4

Perfect Double Bill: Spiderhead (2022)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

David Gordon Green directs Rohan Campbell, Andi Matichak and Jamie Lee Curtis in this horror sequel that explores a new killer emerging to take the Michael Myers mantle.

Genuinely surprised about how much I liked this one. Felt legacy but not beholden, closer to the Rob Zombie reboots but still mainstream. Scuzzy, sexy, unrestrained. Exemplary central performance by Rohan Campbell as the troubled young man ostracised by the Haddonfield community. Lots of memorable kills amongst the sensitive drama… the cold open is pretty damn shocking and there’s a tongue related moment that is cheeky gore nirvana. Laurie and The Shape take a few steps back until the finale… the conclusion is definitely a little less convincing, especially as a full stop to the franchise. But I think we all know the old big knife and boiler suit haven’t been fully retired by Universal just yet. Score, credit sequence, mad underpass bums, teens worth killing, cute girls, nasty deaths. Why aren’t Freddy and Jason still getting it served this hot?

7

Perfect Double Bill: Halloween Kills (2021)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Joseph Kosinski directs Miles Teller, Chris Hemsworth and Jurnee Smollett in this techno thriller where an arrogant CEO experiments on sexy convicts with his new mind control invention.

One day that Netflix algorithm is going to stumble onto a fine piece of home entertainment. Like a stopped clock or an infinite amount of monkeys with an infinite amount of typewriters. Until then I’ll give slick dreck like this a fair 20 minutes of my undivided attention and then start opening tabs and sidebars on my tablet until the action ramps up.

3

Perfect Double Bill: Don’t Worry Darling (2022)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

John Ford directs Victor McLaglen, Heather Angel and Preston Foster in this IRA drama based on Liam O’Flaherty’s classic novel.

Victor McLaglen is a pitiable braggart and a drunk hoping to get 20 quid so he and his streetwalker sweetheart can escape Dublin for America. So he makes a deal with the devil (the British) and squanders his chance to leave playing the big man. Guilt, betrayal, hedonism. Ford films this like German Expressionism though that may be down to how little budget he had to recreate the Irish capital. He has the perfect leading man though so who cares about the set dressing? My dissertation was on Irish Nationalism In Film and I had to blag watching this as I struggled to gain access to it. Nice to finally catch up on it.

7

Perfect Double Bill: I See A Dark Stranger (1946)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/