John Michael McDonagh directs Brendan Gleeson, Chris O’Dowd and Kelly Reilly in this Irish drama where a man on the other side of the confessional tells a priest he will shoot him dead in exactly one week’s time.

A murder mystery, before the murder has happened, where the victim / detective is already pretty sure who his killer will be. We don’t though. So every interaction has the subtext of threat and intimidation. I say subtext as nearly everyone in this community is outright hostile to this decent, compassionate and dedicated priest. They insult him, bully him and psychologically attack him. There isn’t a moment of solace or reprieve for the good man. So much so that even when the killer is revealed and a stand off closes the tale we still aren’t sure who is responsible for all the other transgressions that have befallen Gleeson over the hellish week? As a portrait of Catholic Ireland recovering from a church rocked by scandals and corruptions, Calvary is an incredibly bleak and challenging satire. It also works as a pitch black comedy and a thriller to boot. The mindset McDonagh is trying to convey is brittle and hostile and corrosive. He does the job enigmatically but satisfyingly.

9

Perfect Double Bill: The Guard (2011)

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Danny Boyle directs Cillian Murphy, Rose Byrne and Michelle Yeoh in this sci-fi psychological thriller where a team of scientists must complete their mission to launch a nuclear device into the sun to reignite it.

Blindingly bright. A script by Alex Garland influenced as much by 2000AD and popular speculative science as Alien and Event Horizon. The domino rally of escalating calamities over the first two act is intense. The space walk where two astronauts are protected by a malfunctioning solar shield is a highlight. The ensemble is perfectly cast, over qualified really for their stock, thinly sketched roles. You never feels like you get enough of Yeoh, Cliff Curtis or Benedict Wong. The third act is an incoherent mess but at least it is still quite chaotically exciting. Sunshine’s production values are the stand out. The design of the spindly ship and chunky spacesuits are lush. They help make for visually memorable spectacle where the slow burn disagreements and disasters can simmer away at their own niggling, erratic pace.

7

Perfect Double Bill: Event Horizon (1997)

I write regular features about live comedy for British Comedy Guide here https://www.comedy.co.uk/people/bobby_carroll/features/

Allan Arkush and Joe Dante directs Candice Rialson, Paul Bartel and Mary Woronov in this sexploitation cheapie where a girl with a big dream of becoming a star lands on the seedier side of the movie making street.

Before Mulholland Dr. and yet (somehow) after Babylon, there was this. 25% titty shots. 25% footage from other Corman flicks. 25% cartoon romps around other Corman sets with recognisable props, costumes and vehicles. 25% dark satire about what a human meat factory showbiz is. Listen, the endless parade of healthy Seventies breasts is lovely, the kinetic set pieces are larks. The rest is filler. For every telling shot where the LA newsagents sells one trade mag for every 10 pornos, there’s a couple of weird gang rape moments that are way too full on to be as wittily point scoring as they are intended to be. Hollywood Boulevard really is a poor man’s stew scraped together from found footage, pick up shots and off cuts. The murder mystery subplot culminates in an axe fight around the dilapidated, graffiti strewn Hollywood sign. Rialson is a truly magnetic presence, sunny and game. Dick Miller is fantastic fun as a terrible agent. It just never all combines together into a consistent feature. At 70 plus minutes it often is boring.

4

Perfect Double Bill: Hardcore (1979)

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Cover star Michael Douglas talks about how producing kept his acting career alive and The Jewel Of The Nile was zero fun to make as nobody wanted to be there.

A trade article covering how the VHS market is shifting from a purely rental window to simultaneous sell-through releases. Danny Champion Of The World and Rain Man were the first to take a gamble changing the pattern.

The rise of the multiplex gets a well researched essay. Did you know they had a mechanism built into the ceilings above projector booths to run one print from a first projection booth and then have it spool across the vents to be used again soon after in a nearby screen?

A begrudging interview with Ken Russell whose career was on a downward turn.

A very candid feature on the crew’s first hand experiences on the set of The Abyss. The lower rung cast members talk of the backwards hick town they were trapped in, the danger of filming in a water flooded nuclear reactor and their minor rebellions against the James Cameron regime. Still, all that suffering produced one of the best sci-fi movies ever… so shut the fuck up.

Some recent releases covered. They did not enjoy Two Moon Junction, shortsightedly stating Sherilyn Fenn had no screen chemistry. Audrey Horn wants a word with you Empire. The two genre flicks that have stood the test of time (Dead Calm and Road House) are buried seven pages deep into the New Releases review section.

I write regular features about live comedy for British Comedy Guide here https://www.comedy.co.uk/people/bobby_carroll/features/

David Lean directs Celia Johnson, Trevor Howard and Stanley Holloway in this classic romance about a married doctor and a housewife who fall in love.

A movie that slips between chaste tweeness and erotic mania. As I grow older Howard’s dashing doctor appears more and more calculating. Johnson’s trapped Laura, trapped in a happy marriage but trapped none the less, actions read more and more frantic. Lean and Coward paint a world on very strict rails. Timetables, rules, bells, bylaws. It would crush anyone. Very beautiful, psychologically horrific.

10

Perfect Double Bill: The Passionate Friends (1949)

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Fede Alvarez directs Cailee Spaeny, David Jonsson and Isabela Merced in this sci-fi franchise horror entry where a group of scavengers pick the wrong derelict lab to steal their cryochambers from.

Pretty much a straight remake of Don’t Breathe but in Weyland-Yutani drag. The FX are pleasingly gloopy and clunky. The facehuggers get maximum screentime. There is a fresh set piece involving splooges of zero gravity acid blood. And as a massive die hard fan of the series I left the multiplex sated. It will just about do if you ignore the high bar. Jonsson is the only member of the ensemble who isn’t bland and thinly sketched. I’m used to my expendable crew being a lot more lived in and quirky than this. And that resurrection of a legacy character is ill advised. Qualms aside this will join my mid tier rotation of entertaining respins of familiar wheels. (See also Predators, Spectre, Live Free And Die Hard et al).

Perfect Double Bill: Alien Resurrection (1997)

I write regular features about live comedy for British Comedy Guide here https://www.comedy.co.uk/people/bobby_carroll/features/

Sam Raimi directs Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst and Alfred Molina in this Marvel superhero sequel where Peter Parker tries to abandon being Spider-Man just as Doc Ock begins a rampage of vengeance.

Held up by many as a peak in comic book blockbuster cinema, this still feels a bit too multi-strand to really satisfy. The best thread is the failing unrequited romance between Peter and Mary Jane. The worst is Franco glowering around the mid ground of scenes seeking vengeance on Spider-Man. There doesn’t seem like there is enough room for Doc Ock to fully spread his tentacles. And the arc of whether Parker should give up being Spidey is a bit too similar to Christopher Reeve’s choosing to forfeit his powers in Superman 2. The big action sequences (the pizza delivery, the creation of a villain, the bank heist, the kidnapping of MJ, the runaway elevated train) are pretty strong but are too spread out. Still very colourful, dynamic but not as fun as I remember.

7

Perfect Double Bill: Spider-Man (2002)

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David Schmoeller directs Paul Le Mat, William Hickey and Irene Miracle in this horror where a bunch of magicians in a deserted hotel are killed off by murderous puppets who don’t need a master to come to life.

Charles Band cheapo. The horny, draggy middle act doesn’t make a lick of sense but after an hour we finally get some more puppet action. For the five minutes the puppets are on the rampage the movie fulfils the videoshop rental brief.

4

Perfect Double Bill: Parasite (1982)

I write regular features about live comedy for British Comedy Guide here https://www.comedy.co.uk/people/bobby_carroll/features/

Howard Hawks directs Cary Grant, Ann Sheridan and Marion Marshall in this wartime romantic comedy where a French officer marries a female US lieutenant and promptly discovers American military bureaucracy has no space for him.

More fun when it was a mismatched bickering pair, who you know will fall for each other, larking about in the ruins of Germany on a road trip. The second half of the film is the meat of the story. With Grant’s prig having to tie himself into knots trying to pass through bureaucratic loopholes. Eventually he ends in drag but it isn’t always worth the increasingly samey samey journey.

6

Perfect Double Bill: The Awful Truth (1937)

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Hayao Miyazaki directs Mayumi Tanaka, Keiko Yokozawa and Kotoe Hatsui in the Studio Ghibli animated fantasy adventure about an orphan from a mining village who rescues a princess who fell from the sky.

As often happens now I had a strong feeling of déjà vu when watching this for what should have been the first time. According to Wikipedia there was a truncated version floating around U.K. terrestrial telly long before anyone over here even knew what a Ghibli was. The iron giant centurion robots definitely felt familiar. Steampunk pirates. Magical stones. The mystical joy of flying. Just an epic romp with a perfect blend of romance, adventure and dream. Set the bar really high early doors for every other Miyazaki. Lush fluid freedom.

9

Perfect Double Bill: The Wind Rises (2013)

I write regular features about live comedy for British Comedy Guide here https://www.comedy.co.uk/people/bobby_carroll/features/