Richard Donner directs Sylvester Stallone, Antonio Banderas and Julianne Moore in this action thriller where rival hitmen square off, based around a spec script from the Wachowskis. 

A horrendously disjointed actioner where four small scale claustrophobic sequences (concieved no doubt to be low budget hair raisers) are given big glossy treatment and therefore come across as flat as month old Pepsi.  Meanwhile the three stars all put in discordant, unlikeable turns, they grate off each other like concrete on chalk. Either the script needed to be opened out even further or focussed in on what made the elongated set pieces work as concieved… but this mid level fudge comes across as boring, confused and a waste of a lot of assembled talent. Everyone is at fault. Duller than a silencer aimed at wet cotton wool. The finale involves a character trapped between floors in a dusty, rotten hole… appropriate.

3

F. Gary Gray directs Vin Diesel, Dwayne Johnson and Charlize Theron in the eighth installment of The Fast and the Furious’ ludicrous car thieves turned espionage disrupters action franchise. 

Nowhere near as much ridiculous fun as the previous OTT sequels – the purpose to the action just isn’t there, while what little plot there is is emotionally uninvolving. When not going through its shouty, destructive motions the brightest stars shine despite a staleness in the endeavour entire. The Rock and Jason Statham have good business when paired off together and also with their separate (unusually) kid orientated sequences too. Kurt Russell sparkles while popping in to pick up his paycheck as the coolest M that ever got to deliver a bit of mission exposition. Vin Diesel and Michelle Rodriquez get lumbered with the excuse of a story this time, and it is not a difficult one to unpack so little credit for them. While Charlize is far superior than the cornrowed Dr No part she is saddled with. Too much screaming at desktops and into Walkie Talkies as expensive things smash into each other for her in particular and everyone in the main, not enough calculated peril and pop. A step backwards for the normally cheekily satisfying brainless blockbuster brand.

5

Rob Reiner directs Tom Cruise, Jack Nicholson and Demi Moore in this top end military courtroom drama from an early screenplay by Aaron Sorkin.

The glorious full stop to Reiner’s unmatched 7 movie uninterrupted ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ golden run as a director; one of the very finest courtroom dramas. His gift for combining accessible and warm, starry Americana with hard edged themes continues here with his helming of Sorkin’s verbally showy debut. All the hyper knowledgable walking and talking repartee and elegant character work you’d expect from Mr West Wing is boldly here. A Few Good Men boasts one of those fantasy cast lists that you find yourself seeing uncredited headliners in one scenes roles but it all really boils down to two brilliant performances in the end. Cruiser delivers his last boyish turn here, his journey subtly lampooning the star persona his mega success was built around. After a decade of playing “the best at what he does” here it is actually his cockiness, need to win and easily acquired talent that is used as a trap against him. He has been specifically chosen to represent this case because he is a Maverick and a Top Gun, someone used to making the easy deal rather than risking his rep to fight a losing case. Such a “winner” as that gets the antagonists closer to getting away with murder and corruption rather than giving him the edge. And antagonists don’t come any more snarlingly seductive as Jack’s Colonel Nathan R. Jessup, a true movie monster. A fanatic who swings between speaking in long winded sarcastic wind-ups or barking aggressive sound bites. A terrifying man essayed in four perfect scenes with all of Jack’s unique confidence. “There is nothing on this earth sexier, believe me, gentlemen, than a woman you have to salute in the morning. Promote ’em all, I say, ’cause this is true: if you haven’t gotten a blowjob from a superior officer, well, you’re just letting the best in life pass you by.”

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Park Chan-wook directs Kim Min-hee, Kim Tae-ri and Ha Jung-woo in this erotic thriller that transplants the plot of Sarah Waters’ Victorian  lesbian servant noir,  Fingersmith, to Japanese occupied Korea. 

The Oldboy director blends his masterfully crafted cinematic vision and his cheeky sense of farce to create his warmest work yet. The twisting plot knots in and out of itself with athletic grace. The brilliant sex scenes, both metaphorical and explicit, are loaded with charm, power and narrative drive. And the two female leads naturally befriend you while never proving utterly trustworthy. A big, dirty, intelligent, gorgeous romp.

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John Glen direct Roger Moore, Carole Bouquet and Topol in the surprisingly hard edged Rog Bond compared to his camper, lighter entries. 

In much the same way that Diamonds Are Forever feels more like a Moore Bond movie than a Connery, this feels more like a Dalton than a Roger. Determinedly lower key, slightly less joshing, a focus on tension rather than spectacle and the only time My Bond gets his hands dirty. Often critiqued for being a little dull (the grand finale involves mountaineering bolts being kicked out at great altitude rather than doomsday devices ticking away in an underground lair) and a little dour (this feels the closest Rog gets to showing emotion or existing in the real world) these to me are the thriller’s strength. The set pieces truly grip. The only real fault is Topol’s red herring “bad guy” proves a more suitable romantic match for 007 than the Bond girls, though Bouquet has lovely sleek hair and looks iconic with her vengeful crossbow. Coming after the crass tinfoil campiness of Moonraker, this feels like a swerve in the right direction, and prematurely showed the franchise a course it currently seems to enjoy taking more and more. Back towards Fleming.

8

 

George Waggner directs Lon Chaney, Jr.,  Evelyn Ankers and Claude Rains in this Universal monsters classic about a… well you know.

The problem with catching up on your classic horror movies is you are watching the originator long after you’ve seen all the good and awful it has inspired. Synoptic Gospels or Patient Zero – you’ve explored this mythology and world through more modern, more confident, more expanded progeny. Luckily, this iteration of The Wolf Man has a thoroughly sympathetic lead turn from Lon Chaney that elevates it beyond being a mere museum piece. A big hulking sad sack of a man, he is constantly making developed choices with his body language, facial expressions and line delivery. It is a perfect genre performance and binds the nascent mysticism, slight stalking sequences and awkward doomed romance wonderfully. So much so that it is almost a shame when he eventually transforms to full wolf.

7

Michael Bay directs Ewan McGregor, Scarlett Johansson and Djimon Hounsou in this sci-fi actioner where two clones go on the run when they realise the utopia they wish to be sent to is actually the surgical table of a grim body part chop shop.

We need to talk about Michael Bay. Considered one of the worst big budget directors still working, the creative nadir of high concept blockbuster sausage making… I kinda like his stuff. In descending order of quality; The Rock, 13 Hours, Bad Boys, Bad Boys 2, Pearl Harbour, Armageddon and this are OTT, blindingly colourful, inspired casting, sexy romance fitted as standard, summer one watchers. None are great movies, all are way, way too long, and I’m not touching the Transformers series with a barge pole, but if you want kinetic, intense, glossy, mindless fun then Bay is your bae. This scavenges Michael Marshall-Smith’s cult novel Spares somewhat shamelessly (to the point where it is a closer adaptation than most legitimate book to movie conversions) to winning effect. The Logan’s Run first half is better than the The 39 Steps lite second section, the inspiration and excitement noticeably drops off once we enter the real world… it all just sputters to a conclusion eventually. But you get McGregor and Johansson mixing sweet and saucy nicely inbetween the leaden car chases and faltering face offs. Logic takes a back seat (how can McGregor break quite so much security undetected  in an surveillance environment that invades his very dreams earlier, for example?) sheen wins out. Sometimes extreme sheen is just about enough.

6

Robert Redford directs John Turturro, Rob Morrow and Ralph Fiennes in this recreation of the 1950s rigged quiz show scandals.

Forrest Gump is a perfectly fine movie but it came out, and jarringly swept up at the Oscars, during one of the greatest years of cinema ever. 1994 saw the release of Pulp Fiction, The Shawshank Redemption, Ed Wood, Clerks, Speed, The Paper, Leon and this… a crackingly sophisticated drama. Redford recreates the sheen, concerns, opportunities and slick corruption unique to the end of the fifties in a way that even the brilliant Mad Men never quite executed so insightfully. The ensemble is uniformly brilliant, oozing a collective urbane sharpness until they realise only the house wins at these tables – none more so than Turturro whose near manic fall guy Herb Stemple is a portrait of short sighted working class frustration. A narrative that dextrously explores class, deceit and ethics… it is sad to think sentiment rather than smarts is still what the Academy embraces those days and these days when it comes to ordaining the best of Hollywood.

9

Jason Reitman directs Kate Winslet, Josh Brolin and Gattlin Griffiths in this melodramatic romance between a sensitive convict on the run and the agoraphobic single mother whose house he holes up in for the weekend. 

Bit of class this. They don’t really makes out and out romance movies for adults anymore but this wears its maturity and sultry heat proudly on its sleeve. It dips into tragedy surprisingly often and surprisingly hard each time it does, it has a measured patience to allow us to fall for a set of people who might struggle to be appealing outside of this particular overbaked pressure cooker. And it is consistently sexy. Winslet deserved more award attention for another standout lead while Reitman directs with one eye on seductive nostalgia, another on keeping the entire fantasy rooted in some tough, complex soil. When the dream inevitably falls apart the causes are multiple and all believable. A missed great from the Juno and Up in the Air director well worth seeking out if you’ve outgrown The Notebook.

8

Noel Black directs Anthony Perkins, Tuesday Weld and Beverly Garland in a quirky thriller about a released sociopath and a cleancut looking jailbait who fall for each other.

A very watchable little flick this, presenting more in common with a 1990s indie movie than a sixties noir. Perkins is loveable as the dangerous fantasist while Weld is incendiary as the kid who sees this handsome weirdo as a means of escape from her smalltown existence. It has the jazzy edits and primary colour palette of its era, an enjoyable twist and some wryly dark moments. Give it a try.

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