James M. Muro directs Mike Lackey, Bill Chepil and Vic Noto in this bad taste romp where the bums of New York are melting into toxic ooze whenever they take a sip from a dangerous consignment of cheap liquor.

Want to see homeless grouches melting into streams of rubbery green, purple and yellows? Probably not… but Street Trash delivers. Then at the midway point it gets bored of its main plot and introduces gangsters, Vietnam flashbacks and deathly tramp gangbangs just for the hell of it. It is hyper offensive… women are prey for sexual predators, casual racism abounds, bodily fluids weep with disease. I’ve never witnessed quite such a self consciously dirty, cartoonishly offensive production. One twist in the plot sees a particularly nasty hobo cleaned up and dressed as your grandad as a punishment. That’s the level of fucked up wit we are dealing with here. Street Trash should be unwatchable but it has real punk energy and unusual visual strength. The director went on to be James Cameron’s go-to steadicam operator. Beyond the absurd extreme deaths Muro imbues the real world locations with a dark magic. For most of the performers this is their only IMDB credit. Mike Lackey plays lead down and out Fred like a velvet hatted Bugs Bunny. His opening chase sequence sees him pinch bottoms and execute side hustles as a mob grows after him. As anti heroes go, he’s a hoot. Frankenhooker’s mad lovelorn scientist James Lorinz turns up in the final act as a doorman with a helluva mouth on him. A character so funny they keep returning to him long after he’s been narratively useful. Street Trash is a throwaway videoshop gem. If you can stomach Larry Cohen and you’ve exhausted Frank Henenlotter then give this farting, squelching, screaming zero budget epic a try!

8

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Lenny Abrahamson directs Michael Fassbender, Domhnall Gleeson, and Maggie Gyllenhaal in this “band of outsiders fall apart” rock comedy that co-opts the Frank Sidebottom iconography.

I read a lot of praise for Fassbender’s performance, allegedly he’s superlative in and out of the fake head. You’re all playing a practical joke on me. ANYONE COULD PLAY THIS ROLE!? Maybe not Jimmy Krankie… but still!? Some of the music is good but otherwise this is 140 minutes of meandering hipster posturing. Scriptwriter Jon Ronson was a keyboard player for Chris Sievey (real life 80s local hero who wore a papier-mâché head, sang kitchen sink ditties on his ukulele and appeared on Fantasy Football). But this ain’t the Frank Sidebottom your mother knows. It is Ronson’s backing member fantasies of fame and recognition sifted through an unrecognisable band… closer to Daniel Johnson or Pink Floyd than the silly human cartoon cultural footnote from my childhood. It doesn’t claim to be a biography of Sievey but doesn’t offer anything more exciting instead. So what’s the point of it? Apart from maybe to elevate an already successful author’s what-ifs into becoming the cinematic legend of record. After all most people are only going to know Frank Sidebottom from this and assume he was a tortured difficult genius, unrecognised and self-destructive. And his temporary keyboard player was the Svengali behind their almost success.

3

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Patricia Birch directs Michelle Pfeiffer, Maxwell Caulfield and Lorna Luft in this period high school musical comedy sequel featuring a new crew of T-Birds and Pink Ladies.

The first Grease was lightning in a bottle. You’d have been mad to think a film where 30-somethings play horny teens in nostalgic drag would ever be the blockbuster of its summer. It was foolhardy of Paramount to try and capture that lightning again with none of the name stars or personnel returning! There’s a reason we don’t still play the Grease 2 Megamix at parties. Two good songs (Reproduction and Cool Rider) and a load of dross. There’s a camp charm in seeing a pre-fame Pfeiffer prattle about with gusto but she isn’t much better than the scrum of nobodys and no personalities that populate this overlong drag. Correction: Over populate! Singing and dancing is seemingly none of the principals forte here so Birch crowds shots with swarms of extras and keeps the cutting tight. It is busy but insubstantial. Seeing as no-one seems comfortable with core demands of a musical you can only imagine the debauched compromises that happened during the casting stage! Should have been covered in The Worst Movies We Own Podcast!

3

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Joe Lynch directs Steven Yeun, Samara Weaving and Steven Brand in this horror comedy where a corporate office is locked down when the building is infected with a violence inducing virus.

The Belko Experiment does exactly this far better. So why waste your time on an inferior? Samara Weaving steals focus with an energetic turn and when given room to breathe Steven Yuen’s lead has shades of a young Christian Slater (but not a young Jack Nicholson… STRANGE!?). Otherwise this proves very one note, single joke. Distraction is the name of the game. With a pumping soundtrack, relentless voiceover and sledgehammer editing all poured on to cover up the fact Mayhem doesn’t have much more than a weaker take on an already perfected elsewhere spin to offer.

5

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Ena Sendijarević directs Sara Luna Zorić, Lazar Dragojevic and Ernad Prnjavorac in this Bosnian road trip where a Dutch teen visits her home country with depressing results.

Jim Jarmusch’s Stranger Than Paradise updated with pastel colours, futurist architecture, non-exploitative sex and bursts of violence. It retains much of its Eighties indie inspiration’s soft-sell mordant humour and despite a relaxed pace is always watchable. Debut filmmaker Sendijarević is a voice worth keeping an eye on but I really just want to view Stranger Than Paradise again soon!

6

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Herschell Gordon Lewis directs Mal Arnold, William Kerwin and Connie Mason in this horror where an Egyptian caterer murders girls for their delectable flesh.

The first ever gore film owes more to the nudie exploitation market than it does to Hitch’s Psycho. Awfully acted, paced, plotted – yet overreaching for deep emotion and sophistication at times. There’s something Lynchian about the cardboard characters overwrought wailing response to death. There’s something in the bright colours (not just copious thick red paint but all the clothing and sets) that evoke Roy Lichtenstein. Accidental Pop Art, interminable horror.

4

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Haifaa Al-Mansour directs Waad Mohammed, Reem Abdullah and Abdullrahman Al Gohani in this Saudi Arabian set childhood tale where a rebellious kid wants a bicycle.

A lovely little film about a subject that should be grim, alien and unfathomable to Western eyes. Women in this regime are so policied and restricted that they cannot own bicycles for pleasure or cars to get to work, innocent touch is misinterpreted as forbidden lesbian romance and political elections aren’t even allowed to be glimpsed at from rooftops. A ten year old showing her wedding photos is played for non-judgmental laughs. Yet the film remains surprisingly light, buoyed by a mischievous turn by our titular heroine. She remains defiant and determined to get what she wants, a bicycle so she can race and play with her neighbourhood boy mate on equal terms. Watching her beautiful mother’s subplots about work and marriage expose the limited future Wadjda has in stall for herself, why not let her have a bit of fun and freedom while she still can?

7

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Andrew Bujalski directs Regina Hall, Shayna McHayle and Haley Lu Richardson in this workplace comedy where put upon GM of a Hooters-style bar struggles with a full day of drama.

Convincing in its first half where Regina Hall rushes around calmly trying to keep the business operational and the girls safe for little recognition or reward. As a bar manager myself, I can attest such plate-spinning days, where nothing seems to go right and rest breaks just don’t happen, are commonplace. The film rejigs itself in the second half to be something less definable and farther reaching than a work place farce. It doesn’t convince in this mode. Also Shayna McHayle’s performance is particularly grating and remote. She’s stuntcasting from the hipster rap world but the gamble that she is multi talented doesn’t pay off. With such a prominent part as Regina Hall’s smoke break confidant she leave our excellent lead with nobody sympathetic to effectively bounce off of for an entire film.

6

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Carlos López Estrada directs Daveed Diggs, Rafael Casal and Janina Gavankar in this drama where three days before his probation ends a young black Oakland moving man’s wayward white work partner and childhood friend buys a gun.

To call this timely undermines the real life situation and politics that fuels this cracking little film. It has much the same heart, energy, invention and verve as the prescient Do The Right Thing yet feels very much like its own thing. Daveed Diggs puts in an off kilter but captivating lead turn. It is swing by swing funny and angry and insightful and salty and intense as the very best movies are. I’d say the final sequence of suspense possibly is a little too didactic – even for a movie that trades in some disturbingly on-the-nose dream imagery. But you’ll struggle to find another current work that gets so much right yet doesn’t feel filtered or warped by branding or movements. This might be your new favourite.

9

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Kōji Shiraishi directs Mizuki Yamamoto, Tina Tamashiro and Aimi Satsukawa in this crossover sequel to the Japanese J-horror hits Ringu and The Grudge.

Easily the best Grudge film I’ve seen and possibly the best Ring sequel also, this simplifies and mashes up the creaky franchises in a meat and potatoes kinda way. It is cartoonish and efficient… gorgeous Japanese teens are cast to scream and run, you buy your ticket and it delivers. A satisfying death comes every five minute (Sadako’s curse is tweaked so her fatalities come quicker). In fact the doomed girls in the Ringu strand are amusingly bimbo-ish, which makes a change of pace from the dull academics who used to watch the vengeful ghost’s home movies. Not world altering but about as good a reconditioning that tired series like this will ever get.

6

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/