John Glen directs Roger Moore, Maud Adams and Desmond Llewelyn in this OO7 spy adventure where Bond must track a stolen Faberge egg that might be about to fund the start of a thermonuclear coup.

I have a very distinct memory of watching the finale of this in the shittiest cinema in London as a child. Might have been a rerelease. But my first memory of Bond is our Rog, in full clown make-up, desperately trying to switch off a nuke. That continual cliffhanger third act is an adventure extravaganza. But there’s lot of joy here. Some of it dated; Berkoff’s hammy second string villain, grey Northolt pretending to be Cuba, the slow fuck theme song and nudie Binder credits. Some of it truly wonderful; Q getting to join in on the caper, Maud Adam’s triumphant returns as a Pussy Galore tribute act, the classy escape from the balcony Kristina Wayborn performs in her sari. The second unit deliver, with Moore and his stunt man being put in sustained peril, danger that’d make Ethan Hunt quiver. Sure, my favourite Bond actor might be starting to creak by this point but George MacDonald Fraser’s script plunges him mercilessly through the action wringer. Given Octopussy is a daft frippery there is no need for the set pieces to go this hard yet delightfully they really do.

8

Perfect Double Bill: A View To a Kill (1985)

My wife and I do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Walter Hill directs Bill Paxton, Ice T and Ice Cube in this action thriller where two looters find themselves under siege from a gang when they try to rob stolen gold on the wrong muthafucker’s turf.

“I told you that motherfucker was scandalous! Now we get to break him off some.” Starts strong but doesn’t fully capitalise on the potent set-up. Paxton and Cube are fantastic value making this a videoshop rental diamond. If you aren’t sure how this is all gonna end after the first half hour then you ain’t watched enough movies. At its most fun when it colours outside the lines of it simple muscular brief: the camcorder footage, the weird breakout moment midway through where the main characters start giving mini soliloquies direct to camera. Raymond the gun dealin’ fixer deserves his own spin-off. What if Mike Ehrmantraut was a flair player?!

7

Perfect Double Bill: Judgment Night (1993)

I write regular features about live comedy for British Comedy Guide here https://www.comedy.co.uk/people/bobby_carroll/featur

Carl Theodor Dreyer directs Henrik Malberg, Emil Hass Christensen and Cay Kristiansen in this Danish religious drama where a farmer struggles with his faith when his youngest son wants marry outside their religion.

Surprised by how much this held me… I care very little for overtly religious flicks and also chamber pieces. Yet the mise en scéne is strong and loaded, the characters blunt but rich and the drama is engrossing. Not my cup of tea but a truly good example of this form.

7

Perfect Double Bill: Vampyr (1932)

My wife and I do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Gary Trousdale and Kirk Wise direct Tom Hulce, Demi Moore and Kevin Kline in this Disney animated classic following the deformed bell ringer of the famous Paris landmark as he learns to leave the shadows of the bell tower.

This got me back on the Disney train after feeling like I had outgrown the franchise. Having said that this is about as far away from “family friendly” as Disney has ever attempted. And it is a wholly successful attempt. Witty humour, big glorious songs, beautiful apex hand drawn animation, historical Paris realised with thrust and accuracy, sexual desire, religious intolerance, tyranny, a genuine bastard of a villain, emotionally deep cruelty and full blooded action. Something genuinely for everyone. Out There, Hellfire, Someday… sexy Esmeralda pole dancing… just a wholemeal blockbuster experience and it made the cash to prove it. Why no more like this one, Mouse House?

10

Perfect Double Bill: Beauty and the Beast (1991)

I write regular features about live comedy for British Comedy Guide here https://www.comedy.co.uk/people/bobby_carroll/features/

Frank Capra directs Gary Cooper, Barbara Stanwyck and Walter Brennan in this screwball comedy where a homeless baseball player finds himself pretending to be some grassroots political icon after a newspaper reporter makes “him” up.

A big future influence on The Coen’s marvellous The Hudsucker Proxy. The humour is dated and certain scenes drag on for an eternity… The scale and ferociousness of the final act save it. Too bitter to be called a screwball comedy anymore, the fall of “John Doe” certainly has teeth.

7

Perfect Double Bill: Mr Smith Goes To Washington (1939)

My wife and I do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

William Lustig directs Robert Forster, Fred Williamson and Richard Bright in this exploitation thriller where a group of NYC mechanics keep their streets safe through extreme violence.

A mind blowing cast of “that guy“ faces get sleazy in New York. This is very scrappy. Forster and Williamson only share a few scenes and their plots go off on divergent tangents. The juicer one sees Forster suffering tragedy and then going to prison due to systemic corruption. A real citizen’s nightmare laid out with zeal. Though not exactly what the VHS cover promises. Williamson is on the gritty streets taking down the gangs, one middle aged member at a time. I doubt there were many filming permits, I doubt the cast hung around on set if they didn’t have a scene. The action is perfunctory… both chases feel achingly slow. Still, a nasty jolt of right wing violence that goes harder than it ever needs to.

6

Perfect Double Bill: Maniac Cop (1988)

I write regular features about live comedy for British Comedy Guide here https://www.comedy.co.uk/people/bobby_carroll/features/

Ang Lee directs Tang Wei, Tony Leung and Joan Chen in this erotic spy thriller where a drama student joins a group of radicals and takes on the fake life of a glamorous businessman’s wife to infiltrate a handsome traitor’s home.

People playing parts they cannot escape. Beautiful tactile fashions. The slow crank building to big sexual release. The folly of youth and idealism. Most boys are useless, men are corrupt. A lightning bolt debut by Tang Wei. Tony Leung being cool as fuck, even as an utter bastard. Perfectly orchestrated set pieces like the slow, pointless escape through a busy street. The Orwellian inevitability of the final moments. Ang Lee’s last great one? I hope not.

9

Perfect Double Bill: The Age of Shadows (2016)

My wife and I do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Alexander Mackendrick directs Burt Lancaster, Tony Curtis and Susan Harrison in this New York drama where an oily publicist will do anything to curry the favour of a powerful newspaper columnist who lords it over the lifeblood of his trade.

Psychological violence. Perhaps the nastiest film ever made where no blood is let, no wound causes harm, no shots are fired. It is a movie of people constantly being reminded of their place on the rung, and if they ever feels morally superior to that rung then the rung becomes slippery real quick. The dialogue is like the poetry of pain. “Son, I don’t relish shooting a mosquito with an elephant gun, so why don’t you just shuffle along?” “Stop tinkering pal, that horseradish won’t jump a fence.” “I’d hate to take a bite outta you. You’re a cookie full of arsenic.” Every line is third rail electrified. Burt Lancaster as J.J. Hunsecker: ever see an entire film get pulled towards one performance, gasping for air like a drowning horse whenever he is absent. Not that Curtis is any slouch, he is near omni present, desperately hustling and wiggling to keep his little foothold in the power games. He isn’t my favourite movie star of this era but he is perfectly cast here. And there are rare comforts amid all the trauma and desolation. Susan Harrison is undeniably pretty to look at. Monochrome Mad Men-era Broadway at night dazzles as a location. The jazz bar hopping plot lends this a glorious sparkly contemporary score by Elmer Bernstein. Not the most famous film of its decade but one that stands tall among the biggest fish of its day. Now you can’t help to share it with everyone like a dirty little secret. Watch the men pretend to have souls when they lost them a thousand sins ago.

10

Perfect Double Bill: Houdini (1953)

I write regular features about live comedy for British Comedy Guide here https://www.comedy.co.uk/people/bobby_carroll/features/

Christopher Nolan directs Cillian Murphy, Matt Damon and Emily Blunt in this biopic of the scientist who gave the U.S. the atomic bomb first.

Hour 1: See Robert Oppenheimer meet a load of scientists, students and professors one by one with no real context as to what they might add to the narrative. The cavalcade of famous faces playing 40th billed non entities never quits until the dying moments of the lengthy runtime.

Hour 2: Los Alamos and the building and the testing of the bomb. Man becomes myth, Nolan’s ability to bring intimacy to scale and immediacy to unwieldy concepts crosses the finish line. It is about 70 minutes of fantastic cinema. Damon shines as a good humoured military foil. Boom Boom shake shake the room. All done with practical FX.

Hour 3: The trials of Robert Oppenheimer, allowing the big moral trauma of the bomb to be debated and metaphorically illustrated. Owes much to Stone’s JFK. Permits Murphy and Blunt to get their acting on. The guy next to me farted violently throughout the movie but this final push of hearings and conspiracy really fired up his guff pipe. How nice is it to see a movie in a packed screen?!

6

Perfect Double Bill: Dunkirk (2017)

My wife and I do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Christopher McQuarrie directs Tom Cruise, Hayley Atwell and Vanessa Kirby in this espionage action thriller where Ethan Hunt’s team must recover a key that will turn off a world conquering AI called The Entity.

The talkiest Mission yet. Many callbacks to De Palma’s first entry. Also owes a pint to Moore era Bond. There’s a measured silliness here not often seen in this franchise… with the exception of Brad Bird’s Ghost Protocol, Atwell makes for an eye catching addition to the team, Pom Klementieff gives excellent henchperson aggression. When it comes to Tom doing ludicrous danger, this cliffhanger episode saves the best until last. A domino rally of stunts in a ridiculously never ending conveyor belt of peril. Every move he makes to survive introduces a new hazard. Just breathtaking. It is an entire dessert cart hurtling towards your gob after a ruthlessly ripped two hours of spycraft gubbins. Blockbuster heaven.

9

Perfect Double Bill: Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning Part Two (2024)

I write regular features about live comedy for British Comedy Guide here https://www.comedy.co.uk/people/bobby_carroll/features/