Michael Whyte directs Julie Christie, Donald Sutherland and John Lynch in this on-location Irish countryside TV movie about about two middle aged, damaged people coming together while “The Troubles” threaten their dour but idyllic existence.

Minor Don’t Look Now reunion. Only this time with some rather choice accent work. They even have a nice bit of sex. This has a rather basic understanding of how the IRA operated and uses the organisation as an exotic backdrop for a rather Eighties literary romance. Still, nice to see the old humpers back together in winter wear even if not much else comes from it.

5

Perfect Double Bill: Some Mother’s Son (1996)

I write regular features about live comedy for British Comedy Guide here https://www.comedy.co.uk/people/bobby_carroll/features/ and my own Substack https://substack.com/@edinburghlaughterbulletin

Deborah Brock directs Crystal Bernard, Jennifer Rhodes and Kimberly McArthur in this slasher sequel where a survivor of the original massacre has come-of-age and goes away with her mates to practice in their rock band… terrifying images of the past haunt her.

If I were to describe Slumber Party Massacre II in detail you might feel it was the most awesome horror sequel ever. Maybe it would be prolonged exploration of PTSD that might tickle your fancy? Or the fact that this is essentially the California Dreams get drilled to bits? Or that the killer is a mixture of Freddy Krueger and Andrew Dice Clay with a deadly skewering red electric guitar? Sounds brilliant, no? Well, no. This has none of the cheesecake meets feminist charm, subversion or wit of the original, is just way too obviously cheap and takes well over an hour to get started. Very poor considering the material.

3

Perfect Double Bill: The Slumber Party Massacre (1982)

Sam Peckinpah directs James Coburn, Maximilian Schell and James Mason in the WWII movie where a German soldier on the Russian front tries to protect himself from a cowardly superior intent on sacrificing his men for glory.

An absolute pummelling of a war movie. Nothing particularly ground breaking happens but Peckinpah’s addiction to impactful mayhem and Coburn’s gruff weary performance make it very watchable. It is so hypnotically despondent you can even forgive them for running out of money before they filmed an ending. Who even needs punctuation when every scene is a massacre?

8

Perfect Double Bill: The Big Red One (1980)

You can follow me on Letterboxd here https://letterboxd.com/BobbyCarroll

Howard Zieff directs Goldie Hawn, Eileen Brennan and Armand Assante in this comedy where a grieving Jewish “princess” signs up to the US Army under the misguided advice that it will improve her life.

A massive hit back in its day that seems to have faded into obscurity. Probably as it is tonally quite schizophrenic. The first half is pretty much an all girls Stripes / Police Academy. This got there first, they even launched a short lived sitcom around the ensemble at the fish out of water boot camp and, unrecognisably, the awesome PJ Soles is playing against type here as a snitch. The second half though isn’t the expected tale of female empowerment (even by Eighties standards) but instead a very detailed essay on a woman giving up her achievements, autonomy and personality for a man. The laughs fade out and the ultimate message is a big question mark. What will Judy Benjamin’s life look like now she has given up the security / exploitation of both the military and a chauvinist? A muddled flick with one of Hawn’s best performances. Let’s call it a draw.

5

Perfect Double Bill: Protocol (1984)

Fred Schepisi directs Meryl Streep, Sam Neill and Dale Reeves in this Australian true story of a religious couple who lose their baby then the media storm and court case that follow when the general public turn against them.

Such a strange sad little story. The quote “The dingo stole my baby” was synonymous with Australia for my generation even if you never saw the movie. The Chamberlains are an awkward, difficult couple. Their reactions to grief do not fit with how the Australian viewing public assume people should behave after the loss of a child. Doubt turns to a chattering lynch mob. So after a long methodical recreation of the inciting incident (with just enough information left out so you are never fully trusting of the tragic event) we begin the witch hunt. Quick, fat free time leaping scenes where the media exploit and distort the couple, the hoi polloi gossip and theorize. Scant regard is given for the trauma the family suffer and they don’t help themselves by being a weird mob on and off camera. It ends in a gripping third act court case where both husband and wife are put through the emotional wringer. Hard to know how any of us would stand up to such systematic misfortune. I have never been Streep’s biggest fan but she is excellent here. Her irritating but the admirable take on Lindy Chamberlain in A Cry In The Dark justifies her reputation. The second and third sections move at a furious clip that it can almost feel like an hour long montage at times. The effect Schespisi creates is intentionally overwhelming on the viewer.

8

Perfect Double Bill: The Bridges of Madison County (1995)

I write regular features about live comedy for British Comedy Guide here https://www.comedy.co.uk/people/bobby_carroll/features/ and my own Substack https://substack.com/@edinburghlaughterbulletin

Karrie Crouse and William Joines direct Sarah Paulson, Amiah Miller and Annaleigh Ashford in this psychological horror where a mother tries to protect her daughters from the dust storms that ravaged Oklahoma in the 1930s, starvation and a sinister force.

Well crafted but poorly written. Squanders a unique set up and a dynamo central performance for nothing but some vague unease. There are so many set pieces that could arise from the embattled women trying to navigate choking dust clouds and isolation. Instead all we get is the occasional hazy jump scare. It is always nice seeing Annaleigh Ashford getting work and the creepiest moments belong to her.

4

Perfect Double Bill: Run (2020)

Coralie Fargeat directs Demi Moore, Margaret Qualley and Dennis Quaid in this body horror where an ageing star takes a miracle treatment that creates a younger version of herself.

This is what we want. Excess. Striking imagery. Exploited Hollywood stars. It all works but there is too much of it. Keep all the full fat gross out but firm up that pace. Moore’s cache is mined perfectly though I would be surprised if the Academy actually came knocking next spring. Qualley probably is under served in a near voiceless fake T&A role. So it isn’t perfect, when it cooks it overflows. The FX works is iconic nasty. Fargeat hits all those deep buttons that Moviedrome / Selectavideo installed in me. You could rattle off two dozen obvious influences in under a minute yet, like Tarantino, this exciting auteur mega mixes all the thefts into very much her own thing. Just like she did with Revenge. My young ass.

8

Perfect Double Bill: Revenge (2018)

You can follow me on Letterboxd here https://letterboxd.com/BobbyCarroll

Megan Park directs Maisy Stella, Percy Hynes White and Aubrey Plaza in this teen comedy where during a hallucinogenic trip in the woods a Gen-Z-er is visited by her future self.

A sweet, loose romcom with its heart in the right place. Not nearly enough Aubrey Plaza… but, even if she isn’t an obvious match in either physicality or persona to the bookending star, Maisy Stella has plenty of charisma in her own right. The movie swings for emotional significance without being overbearing. The only real drawback is Percy Hynes White. Nice guy but he is such a dorky and unthreatening screen presence that he makes Michael Cera seem like machismo maximised. Surely teen girls, even those who identify as lesbians, don’t want their boys quite this… meh?

6

Perfect Double Bill: Freaky Friday (1976)

I write regular features about live comedy for British Comedy Guide here https://www.comedy.co.uk/people/bobby_carroll/features/ and my own Substack https://substack.com/@edinburghlaughterbulletin

Rodman Flender directs Brooke Adams, Jeff Hayenga and James Karen in this body horror about a woman struggling to conceive who becomes impregnated with a deadly mutant foetus.

Beautiful Brooke Adams is body snatched from the womb outwards in this utter cheapo VHS trash. Phoebe from Friends has a first act “before they were famous” scene as the chipper receptionist. Awkwardly all over the shop.

3

Perfect Double Bill: Dr Giggles (1992)

You can follow me on Letterboxd here https://letterboxd.com/BobbyCarroll

Peter Hyams directs Gene Hackman, Anne Archer and James Sikking in this thriller where a district attorney and an uncooperative witness must survive an overnight train journey with contract killers in every carriage.

Classy slop. The bookmarking action is top notch, the train journey cat and mouse inbetween spins its wheels a little. Luckily, Hackman is watchable as fuck. Not quite as good as the original but you’d be utterly minted if you rented this from Variety Video on a Saturday night.

8

Perfect Double Bill: The Narrow Margin (1952)

I write regular features about live comedy for British Comedy Guide here https://www.comedy.co.uk/people/bobby_carroll/features/ and my own Substack https://substack.com/@edinburghlaughterbulletin