The Old Guard (2020)

Gina Prince-Bythewood directs Charlize Theron, KiKi Layne and Matthias Schoenaerts in this comic book action movie where immortals act as “a rescue team, not assassins” throughout history.

The key problem with any protagonist who cannot be killed is watching them survive a conventional action sequence contains zero peril. It is why Batman will always be more exciting than Superman. Why The Terminator movies must also contain a Connor. The Old Guard does eventually start to hint that its invulnerable death squad do have limitations to their regenerative powers but this weakness is never exploited. The spectacle here is pretty rote and for some reason accompanied by the breathy whispery pop tunes that became a cliche in trailers a decade ago. You understand every stylistic and narrative decision but it is hard to be excited by them. This is Highlander meets The Avengers but the most plain, unflavoured variation of that potent conceptual mash-up. Theron is shockingly lacklustre, the plot plodding and noncommittal. Positives? There is a decent fight / training level / initiation on a cargo plane and two of our lower billed former crusaders have heated moments of romance. These are the straws I clutched at under my duvet on a grey afternoon. As with most Netflix mega budgeted originals I found it hard not open a side window on my screen and scroll the internet after a while. I had no such issue of aimless distraction with the cheap dated film below, watched with the same AV set-up in bed.

4

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.