Ocean’s 8 (2018)

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Gary Ross directs Sandra Bullock, Cate Blanchett and Anne Hathaway in this girl’s only spin-off to the Clooney / Pitt / Soderbergh classy comedy heist series. 

Alarm bells rang with the trailers… there were no discernible jokes in the marketing footage. Turns out the trailer sold the film accurately. This is a movie so glossy it glides along its slick surface without ever hitting a snag or tickling out a laugh. If a security guard almost enters an area in which the ensemble are criming, then it is within a vague and tensionless proximity…. then the distractions come long before we could possibly fear the jig is up. If a character opposes the coutured crew then they are folded into the team with baffling speed and motivations. The plot moves from A to A with nary a skipped heartbeat in sight. The score: a 108 minute plastic mannequin for pretty dresses, a motionless vehicle for sort of stars to pretend they are flim flam grifters. Why no Emma Stone? Why no Angelina Jolie? Why no Scarlett Johansson, Jodie Foster, Jane Fonda, Michelle Pfeiffer, Pam Grier, Goldie Hawn, Susan Sarandon, Geena Davis, Angelina Jolie, Meg Ryan, Viola Davis, Angie Dickinson or Jennifer Lawrence?  Surely Julia Roberts, who has form in this series, was a shoo-in? Oh… Awkwafina is in the 8 “big names” though… I’m sure she’ll bring a lot to the table. (She doesn’t… four of the eight feel utterly disposable after their recruitment scenes). A wasted opportunity with only Anne Hathaway’s mark having any infectious larks.

3

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