Debbie Does Dallas (1978)

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Jim Clark directs Bambi Woods, Robert Kerman and Christie Ford in this legendary porn film following a group of cheerleaders trying to make some fast cash by doing a variety of odd jobs.

One of those films that everyone has heard of but nobody has seen, I took a punt on this blast from the past. It is cheaply daft to the extreme with all the girls eager and naive while all the men are middle aged creeps who somehow still get their way. To be honest the improvised enthusiasm put into the set ups (carwashing, tennis changing rooms, candle shop threesomes, library spankings) for each sex session gives this a sleazy charm not dissimilar to an American Pie spin off or a Robin Askwith flick… Though some late in the day dialogue revealing that all the female characters are supposedly sixteen and all the girls agreeing not to cross any lines for money but then all eventually doing so really jars with the “innocent” fun. As for the sex itself, it is hardcore but with some very strange emphasis. There are a disturbing amount of shots of tongues flicking and popping out to eternally lick, to the point where you might never want to ever see a tongue again after 90 minutes. Also coyly fleeting shots of nudity but then almost neverending shots of genitals going at it from unappealing angles featuring maximum butt. The finishes are revealing too, as most of the performers’ faces have unguarded flashes of “Well that wasn’t as bad as I though it was going to be” as their individual sequences reach their climaxes. The pleasingly cliched soundtrack, the excessive bad hair and the appealingly natural bodies of the performers (no plastic surgery or diet ravaged hardships for these kids) make this feel a bit less harmful and bit more cheesily accessible than its dead eye, streamlined modern equivalents. If you go into it with an open mind it can be a decent time waster and a pleasurable museum piece though I doubt anyone is going to get the horn from it anymore.

5

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