Bong Joon Ho directs Chris Evans, Song Kang-Ho and Tilda Swinton in a brutal post apocalyptic revolution set aboard a unstoppable train with the remanents of humanity within. 

Unreleased in the UK, this is a triumphantly realised slice of international sci fi with a killer cast. The world building is impeccable with the Extinction Level Event, creation of rail based ark and class based society explained in neat, believable and logical strokes for such a fantasy. The characters are a bit slimmer but this matches their under nourished dehumanised situation. Spot on casting of the dozen or so speaking parts adds shade and relatability outside of what is scripted – Swinton as a dictatorial middle manager stands out. She embodies a sly satirical tone that never relents even at the bloodiest or most shocking points of the revolt. As a political work about the seperation of the haves and demonisation of the have nots it is solid and engaging allegory which hits some emotional resonance – particularly in three particularly grim, almost stomach churning, revelations made as the rebels make their way through the train. Set design and costume work are also extraordinary and detail a society with dwindling resources but a desire to display each carriages’ social position and personality. Action when it comes is inventive, claustrophobic, violent but constantly varied. This is the work of an entire crew of movie creatives firing on all cylinders. Unmissable.

9

Henry Hobson directs Arnold Schwarzenegger, Abigail Breslin and Joely Richardson in this father watches his daughter turn zombie horror drama. 

This had so much potential – a good idea squandered, another (possibly terminal) stumble on the Arnie comeback march. The problem here is pace and direction. We’ve clearly watched Terrence Malick’s Tree of Life and thought let’s make a zombie like that… Exactly like that. Lots of coverage of foxes in woods, washing on lines, fields of abandoned crops. Not much incident. We have an all time greatest action star and fine comedy actress both playing against type, but with so little to do or say their decent physical performances are stretched out in infuriating extreme close ups. This is a boring film. Schwarzenegger in particular deserves better for taking a risk at such critical juncture of his career. The filmmakers should be thrown into quarantine.

3

 

Steven Spielberg directs Harrison Ford, Shia LeBeouf and Karen Allen in this 50s set revival of cinema’s most beloved adventurer.

Admittedly flawed but not the travesty it sometimes is painted as being. Indy 4 is a stew of classic ingredients and modern twists where some of the new elements sadly spoil the flavour. Ray Winstone, John Hurt and Cate Blanchett for example are extremely hammy which isn’t the end of the world but LeBeouf is dreadful (out of his depth in the charisma stakes and bugging away in the background of shots like some kind of method acting glitch)… the movie only really zings when Indiana is left to his own devices or Ford gets to reignite the spark with Allen’s fine return as Marion Ravenwood. Their chemistry seems to reset the whole endeavour back to a watchable setting once reunited. Action wise is a similar mixed bag; I actually enjoy the fridge / nuke escape and surrounding sequence, there’s some darkly decent Pygmy dart fighting and once we are all together and on course to the lost city of Akator everything except some CGI vine swinging and a glaring alien close up feels like Spielberg is pretty much back on form. Pluses and minuses tallied up, without fanboy high expectations, and it passes… Just. Not so much a cash-in on a bonafide classic but a uncertain attempt at reverse engineering what used to work with inappropriate tools. Edit out a fake gopher here, the use of movie stills for family photos on a desk there, a shot or twelve of Mutt everywhere and this would be a decent placeholder for the legacy of blockbuster cinema’s finest franchises. And when it comes to solving cobwebby riddles, being overawed by mushroom clouds and spacecrafts tearing out of ruins or just popping his trademark Fedora on, Ford still has IT in spades.

6

Shane Black directs Russell Crowe, Ryan Gosling and Angourie Rice in this Seventies set buddy action comedy.

If you are fan of Shane Black then it is all here for you; mismatched salty banter, jaded heroes in way over their heads, precocious kid who throws herself enthusiastically into the mix, colourful henchmen better developed in a few moments than most other movies’ protagonists, neo-noir plots so convoluted you’ll probably only get your head fully around it by the fourth viewing, jokes that come so thick and fast that there’ll be fresh stuff to laugh at by the fortieth. Only Christmas is given short shrift and these days the boobies and oft murdered girls seem as dated as the well realised period setting. It is fair to say The Nice Guys is at least three parts comedy, one part action. The violence when it happens is more of the silent movie pratfall variety rather than the threat filled martial art / shoot out perfection Black delivered in his scripts for Lethal Weapon or The Last Boy Scout. This is down as much to Gosling who shows a genuine knack for playing the idiot and comic physicality. A foul mouthed detective goof who owes as much to Stan Laurel as say a Samuel L Jackon, and the results are great. Crowe is filling out to become a new Robert Mitchum as he ages and spreads. He’s always been a favourite of mine on screen and this outing adds a lighter, more colourful shade to the star’s action repertoire, pistol whippings and stranglings aside. The Nice Guys is easily the funniest film of the year, it hits its action comedy buttons with expert precision. It might be nothing new but recipe is made crisp and the experiment to dial back the carnage a little rarely disappoints.

8

Jan De Bont directs Sandra Bullock, Willem Dafoe and Jason Patric in this disaster movie set aboard a luxury cruise liner set on a collision course. 

A confession. I enjoyed this in the summer of 1997. Not enough to seek it out again. I mean… I knew it was not… in any way… Speed. So watching it again at least 19 further viewings of Keanu’s Fun Bus down the line I’m shocked with my 17 year old self, shocked with everyone involved, really. Yes – there are conceptual problems embedded into every cell like a terminal cancer this was never going to overcome. Charisma vacuum Patric is no replacement for Reeves and it’s hard to say whether having him play exactly the same character with a new name (as they actually try and fail to do), rather just ignoring the recasting and keeping him as a slightly funny looking Jack Traven, or maybe giving the script another rewrite where his character is fased out and replaced by someone a bit different or rewarding the bulk of his set piece heavy lifting to actual star Sandra Bullock would have been the better course of action. The fudge they settle on, just sinks. Then we have the oft pointed out but unignorable problem with a film called Speed 2 set on a slow moving cruise ship. To be honest some of the sequences the concept throws up could easily be made more exciting if Bullock (still charmingly fresh here when she gets more to do than be a hostage) was more obviously in the mix and a bit more directorial care taken to craft them – the propeller sequence has noticeable missed potential. The highlight in this cobbled together mess is a 15 minute sequence where ship crashes into an island town but even that is ruined by a wacky slapstick sensibility and the fact that Bullock and Dafoe seemingly are just put on pause on their jet skis while it all plays out… One reel later and they reappear in exactly the same place to carry on their escape. Surely Dafoe makes for a good villain? Well he’s never boring but inconsistent as a watery custard; smiling for holiday snaps one minute, scowling at a TV screen the next, giving all his hostages a humane chance to escape early doors, yet enfuriated to murder when some of them are trapped on his death ship. Dire, possibly the worst original to sequel quality downturn in a franchise ever.

2

 

Jodie Foster directs George Clooney, Jack O’Connell and Julia Roberts in this thriller where an ordinary Joe takes a TV studio hostage.

Money Monster has a lot going for it; the ambition to emulate set in stone Sidney Lumet classics, the best use of gorgeous George in years, a bawdy sense of humour and crisp, clean direction. It feels like a good, old fashioned night at the movies with its starry cast and simple concept, something in 1996 you would see released every other week but now is a rarer bird you want to conserve just so it doesn’t face extinction. Money Monster even adheres to my favourite movie trope; the Jerry Maguire rule of never having a scene end in the most obvious way. Sometimes brilliantly so – see Clooney’s onscreen “Yes We Can” speech to the viewing masses. So why such a low-ish score for Money Monster? The central conceit of the hostage situation rarely grips and never convinces (despite a likeably animated bit from O’Connell as our answer demanding bomb man). All becomes frankly unbelievable as the action spins out to its conclusion – a thriller with points to make rather than any concern to keeping things taut. The final half hour gives up on all semblance of authenticity to bring the survivors face to face with the true villian – Dominic West’s winningly awful “The Man.” Despite stalling on the final lap this is Foster’s best directed film so far – she really is a talent behind the camera, especially in getting comfort stretching yet amusingly dark turns from her greying leading men – but I doubt this would hold up to repeat viewings like her messier but more satisfying The Beaver.

6

Lewis Teague directs Michael Douglas, Kathleen Turner and Danny DeVito in this African bound action -comedy sequel. 

A fast cash in, that really shouldn’t work (our leads are already in love) and is noticeably less well made… Yet somehow gets away with it. Hacky Alligator director Teague may lack the instinctual behind camera mastery of Zemeckis but he can put the camera in the right place for an explosion or a gag. It all does feel a little bit bigger and a considerable bit louder. What Jewel suffers from is not less caring hands behind the wheel but a poor choice of route taken. Keeping Joan and Jack apart for much of the running time does hobble the middle act. But once we are all back together we get an achingly 80s jet chase where no one knows how to take off but the weapons are easy enough to fire, a hilariously mismatched fistfight against a Nubian tribe’s prince, some fireside smooching and a dangle over a bottomless pit with romantic apologies and proposals. More than enough to sate a fan of this type of thing all before Billy Ocean kicks in on the stereo to send you off with a massive grin on your face. Again.

7

Robert Zemeckis directs Kathleen Turner, Michael Douglas and Danny DeVito in this romantic comedy where a pair of mismatched Americans chase an emerald and find love, while various factions chase them.

This is how you do it. Blockbuster adventure aimed squarely at adults where the palpable chemistry of the stars, the wit of the script and the epic sweep of the storytelling gel into a near perfect movie. Written off as a slight Indiana Jones rip-off until audiences flocked to it in its day, this has aged like the finest of wines. Turner and Douglas have to be one of the big screen’s sexiest pairings and here watching her transform from hopeless romantic writer to bombshell hero and him from unreliable rogue to “trustworthy” foil are two of the most delightful character arcs ever explored. DeVito adds his sleazy, desperate brand of performance to the mix meaning the film never lags even when the sizzling leads are off screen. You are never too far from an amazing location stunt or laugh out loud exchange with the groovy Latin themed score tying it together with a neat bow. And then the final set piece arrives as all heavily armed parties and a gem swallowing crocodile face off and chase about an old fort is a masterclass in multi strand tension. You’ll watch with a big smile on your face and then wish they started making them like this again.

9

Ian MacNaughton directs John Cleese, Michael Palin and Graham Chapman in this big screen remix of their TV sketches.

Still amusing, but showing its age these days, the skits slalom from nostalgically familiar to creakily of their time. The anarchy of it all, however has held up well – especially in Terry Gilliam’s linking animations. They are still eye catchingly daft and provide the most audible laughs.

7