Bobby Carroll's Movie Diary

Tony Scott directs Bruce Willis, Damon Wayans and Taylor Negron in this quintessential Shane Black buddy thriller.

This is how you do an action film. Bruce Willis delivers the kind of lead performance he can’t even be bothered to bring to a Die Hard sequel any more. The zingers fly, the threats are palpable… the bullets, squibs and the explosions dominate. The plot is so mental on paper, leading to those kinda surreal moments only Black can get away with writing (two shoot outs in crowded stadiums where the cops don’t open fire (TWO!?), escape by puppet, a dead squirrel hangover, loads of bombs bad guys accidentally set off). He has always been a less showy Tarantino churning out a slicker, sweatier brand of two guns and a snappy “fuck you” fun. Forget the constant implausibility, enjoy the ride to stubbly sober redemption. Friday night perfection.

10

 

Walter Hill directs Sly Stallone, Jason Momoa and Christian Slater in this hitman revenge actioner.

Some inventive comic book framing, a nice turn from Momoa as a “Bad Guy who should win” and a final fight between he and Sly involving antique fire axes are all that stops this from being a very blah Parker novel rip-off. Whenever the characters interact you get the feeling every role or line was written with DTV king 50 Cent’s limited acting abilities in mind. The fact that Curtis didn’t even turn up and they had to cast decent character actors in all the parts doesn’t help improve the plod to that eventual spike of a closing battle. Still after ending on a high we then get three unnecessary epilogues. What is this? A beer and pizza night Return of the King?

5

 

Wes Craven directs Heather Langenkamp, Robert Englund and himself in this meta reboot of the franchise he accidentally started a decade earlier.

The original, Dream Warriors and this are the only Freddy flicks you ever need care about. All have varying degrees of input from Craven to their benefit, whereas the others feel like rush jobs or misguided spoofs of his first vision. This attempt to ground the horror phenomenon of Fred Krueger back to reality after he had appeared as a pregnant rapper, a children’s toy and a cereal brand is not really as scary or as smart as it needs to be in retrospect yet the ambition is clearly there. Equally the lead performance from Langenkamp stretches her, she is a scream queen not a thespian, so when the film ventures into demanding Babadook / Repulsion-esque set pieces she cannot handle the demands, exposing her stunt casting abilities. There are some fun effects, creepy passages and inventive plotting – enough of each to make this more than a flip exercise in self awareness. Not the film within a film to convert the uninitiated to slasher horror but significant for fans of the genre. NB. It was also the first 18 rated film I illicitly saw on the big screen.

7

Johannes Robert directs Sarah Wayne Callies, Suchrita Pillai-Malik and Sofia Rosinky in this Indian set ghost story.

This third world watering down of Don’t Look Now (soaked useless in set up, invention, depth, style and performance) manages to eke out some so-so jump scares thanks to good ghoul design and creepy kids but that’s just about it. The pacing is ropey, and either the grief theme needed more truthful detail to justify the grinding length, or it really should have remained a short story. The Other Side of the Door just cannot justify its feature length as it currently sits.

3

 

The Coen Brothers direct George Clooney, John Brolin and Scarlett Johansson in 1950s Hollywood set shaggy dog story.

Since The Man Who Wasn’t There the Coens have become a little less prolific and at times churned out placeholder works that tarnish their near perfect records. Hail Caesar joins Intolerable Cruelty, The Ladykillers and Burn After Reading as output that, a few good skits and a wasted stellar cast aside, really might have been better being put into turnaround. Pointless, dull and legacy damaging. It looks fine, however.

4

Susan Seidelman directs Rossana Arquette, Aidan Quinn and Madonna in this 80’s New Wave life swap dramerdy.

Some pop stars find vehicles that blandly feel like extended music videos, and roles that are mere extension of their manufactured image, but Madge, bless her, chose  a smaller but essential role in this covertly feminist art film to cash in on her new found fame. Her “Susan” is the living embodiment of a free, modern, sexually aggressive, unorthodox, fun, consequenceless fantasy life a housewife finds herself taking over. She’s never really chosen quite so well again. And there’s also a crime subplot, sexy men, sidebars involving a rundown magic show. Messy at times? For sure… but its female empowerment message is more enjoyably put forward in a way that worthier movies rarely manage. As a time capsule to mid 80s New York cool it all looks fantastic and an early score by Thomas Newman is a distinctive marvel.

8

 

John Sturges directs Steve McQueen, Richard Attenborough and James Garner in this true tale of a WWII POW mass escape.

As close to movie perfection as you can get. An all star cast, all utilised efficiently and effectively for almost three hours of men on a mission bliss. A masterclass in ensemble storytelling and making the mundane riveting. It is at the end of the day a movie that features 90 minutes of digging and soil dispersal. But… But… But… You invest in the clear cut characters due to the strong, playing to type actors, you invest in the mission due to the pratical and machine calibrated storytelling – logical without being didactic . And once the break starts the real fun begins. And yes, I’ll happily concede, it takes a big horrible reality of war and makes it all a bit of a boy’s own romp. But then away from massively hummable theme tune, the jolly Allied cast of comrades joshing around and the derring do you get a shock of violence and the stakes and sacrifices of the real heroes are remembered. There’s no better way to spend a Sunday afternoon.

10

 

Robert Fiore and George Butler direct Arnold Schwarzenegger, Lou Ferrigno and Mike Katz in this documentary about body building.

Arnie excels here in this, at times obviously staged, documentary. As an early glimpse of the icon in the making it is fascinating. His presence in any shot sucks the oxygen from all the other competitors, while his teasing of poor, young Ferrigno is fun yet the final scene of their comraderie is touchingly more complex. As an actual insight into the world of competitive bodybuilding it feels a tad lightweight however. A great documentary immerses you into into a new world, this merely feels like a quick cursory glance, obscured by the towering obstacle of a star in the making.

6

Marcus Dunstan directs Josh Stewart, Juan de Jesús Fernández de Alarcón and Karley Scott Collins in this cat and mouse game between a burgular and booby trap loving slasher.

Intended as a Saw prequel in its conception, this is for my money a better than the blockbuster series it outgrew. If torture porn is not your thing this is still quite a hard movie to stomach; the traps are not that inventive in their execution merely gory, the creepy slasher could be iconic in look and movement yet stays frustratingly one note here. But the potential is clearly there. The thief protagonist is a nice twist – will he save the family, himself or the loot? Can he achieve any of these goals? It is a new dilemma that ratchets up the tension more than any piano wire, acid glue or bear trap sprung can manage. So a nasty edged slasher movie which avoids the rote machinations of its genre but cannot quite elevate itself to the level of a Carpenter, Craven or The Purge films. Points for effort.

6

Mike Judge directs himself, Bruce Willis and Demi Moore in this traditionally animated spin-off, cash in of his cult MTV show.

Sweeter, funnier and closer to King of the Hill at times than its Generation X snide origins, this is a hoot of a road movie. Probably you need to be in the right mood. I was and had loads of fun.

8