Bobby Carroll's Movie Diary

John Gray directs Steven Seagal, Keenen Ivory Wayans and Bob Gunton in this buddy action thriller where a new age cop with a secret special ops background teams up with a more down to earth detective chasing a serial killer.

I had given up / grown out of Seagal by this release. It mashes Se7en and Lethal Weapon up into an ungainly blend. There is no logic or consistent tone or authorial control. About half an hour in Seagal and Wayans just stop having scenes together. Wonder if they fell out? The forced smackdowns, chases and explosions are serviceable and once in a while Wayans gets a line in that smirks behind the pompous Seagal’s back. As beer and pizza movies go it is one of the preposterous lead’s better ones. Low bar that. The Glimmer Man could refer to his undeserved A-List status. Soon rescinded.

5

Perfect Double Bill: Exit Wounds (2001)

I write regular features about live comedy for British Comedy Guide here https://www.comedy.co.uk/people/bobby_carroll/features/ and my own Substack https://substack.com/@edinburghlaughterbulletin

Rupert Sanders directs Kristen Stewart, Charlize Theron and Chris Hemsworth in this action adventure update for the fairytale fantasy.

An ensemble that feels more impressive now than it did then. Sanders makes gorgeous looking blockbusters. Theron and her golden mirror man are CGI fx done right, for example. He’s world builder in search of better scripts. This starts all so strongly but doesn’t know what its third act should be. Shame to watch such a promising proposition peter out.

6

Perfect Double Bill: The Huntsman: Winter War (2016)

Mikhail Kalatozov directs Tatyana Samojlova, Aleksey Batalov and Vasili Merkuryev in this USSR drama following the plight of a young woman left on the homefront when her lover goes off to fight in WWII.

A black and white Soviet classic. My alarm bells rang that I would be eating my greens with this one. Turns out I’m a cynic. A beautiful boundary pushing work of cinema. You are absolutely in each character’s headspace. Their hopes and fears and sadness and desires. Every frame of this is truly is astoundingly beautiful. Architecture and humanity and society all in unison, then in violent disarray. And there are crowd scenes and panning shot sequences of vibrant, overwhelming movement that are very affecting. Just a great drama movie!

10

Perfect Double Bill: Come And See (1985)

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Spike Lee directs Denzel Washington, Jeffery Wright and ASAP Rocky in this New York music mogul remake of Akira Kurosawa’s kidnapping classic.

I hate to call him out on this but I reckon Spike knows as much about contemporary rap as I do. A joyous jazzy riff on the original. More a psychological drama than a thriller… though there is an exhilarating middle act set piece. The performances are wildly indulgent, especially from our A-List titan. Denzel deserves to let loose once in a while… okay… twice in a while with Gladiator II. One of the themes is how a successful black man has to be many different types of man. So don’t expect too much consistency from scene to scene. Loved the smothering Howard Drossin score, loved Matthew Libatique’s visual celebration of New York, loved the cheeky cameos from talented folk Spike gave their first big break to. Personally I just instantly chimed with this. I think it is the best thing he has done since his renaissance. Since Inside Man. Fuck consistency or genre logic. It is a late career auteur blast. One for them that is really one for me. The only thing that would have worked for me better would be if Spike himself played the Jeffrey Wright role. We wanna see Mookie and Malcolm riffing.

8

Perfect Double Bill: Inside Man (2006)

Timo Tjahjanto directs Bob Odenkirk, Connie Nielsen and Sharon Stone in this action comedy sequel to the suburban family man who was raised to be a contract killer sleeper.

Mad master villain turn from Stone. Some extra extreme violence from Tjahjanto. Exactly the kind of movie my Dad and me will watch when I go visit. They should have kept the original title Nobody Takes A Vacation. RZA and Christopher Lloyd return. Breezily hits the spot.

7

Perfect Double Bill: Atomic Blonde (2017)

I write regular features about live comedy for British Comedy Guide here https://www.comedy.co.uk/people/bobby_carroll/features/ and my own Substack https://substack.com/@edinburghlaughterbulletin

Steve Rash directs Gary Busey, Don Stroud and Charles Martin Smith in this biopic of the life and career of the early rock and roll singer, from his meteoric rise to stardom, to his marriage and untimely death.

A hard little flick not to love. Oscar nominated Busey brings a magnetic energy to Holly. Repositioning him as a maverick and a rebel ahead of his time. It is limited by that unavoidably constricting biopic format and some cheap made for TV production values. Yet Busey and the music force you to overlook the flaws.

7

Perfect Double Bill: Big Wednesday (1968)

Ronny Yu directs Robert Englund, Monica Keena and Katharine Isabelle in this Eighties horror icon crossover.

I wrote an article for Kamera magazine on this back in the day about how in the year of the Dad Movie blockbuster this was the only summer wide release that reflected young people’s lives and was set in a recognisable present day. As a horror it essentially is a glossy tribute act mash-up. All sheen, no grit. The plot develops nonsensically. Yu lets loose some Looney Toon-ish moments of extreme physics. England, even when camping it up, is fantastic value. The doomed girls have a curvaceous cuteness. It is short, busy and passable. A Nightmare On Cash-In Street.

5

Perfect Double Bill: Jason X (2001)

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Jorge Grau directs Cristina Galbó, Ray Lovelock and Arthur Kennedy in the zombie horror where two longhairs get blamed for the mysterious deaths caused by the rampaging reanimated locals.

An ungainly Spanish British hybrid production. The rules of the zombie siege flick hadn’t been nailed down yet. This is more free roaming, less intense. Annoying characters and very dated. Another one ticked off my long standing Mark Gatiss’ Horror Europa bucket list.

5

Perfect Double Bill: The Plague Of Zombies (1965)

Kevin Smith directs Seth Rogen, Elizabeth Banks and Craig Robinson in this adult comedy where two loser flatmates risk their friendship to make a XXX movie.

This movie’s box office chances really suffered with a constrained and tame marketing campaign. They couldn’t even have the film’s title on the TV spots. Which is a shame as it is easily Smith’s best venture that doesn’t feature Silent Bob. Rogen is at his comedic peak here and Banks (though way too hot for her role as written) is gifted the only leading man she’s has ever had chemistry with. It is the same extreme bawdy foul mouthed heart fest as a Clerks flick… just with a new ensemble and more nudity. The support from old hands like Jason Mewes and stunt casting like real life porn star Katie Morgan is very strong and surprisingly charming. Z&M is unlikely to be anyone’s all-time favourite movie but it certainly is a good time for a Thursday night in.

7

Perfect Double Bill: Mallrats (1995)

I write regular features about live comedy for British Comedy Guide here https://www.comedy.co.uk/people/bobby_carroll/features/ and my own Substack https://substack.com/@edinburghlaughterbulletin

Richard Lester directs Rita Tushingham, Ray Brooks and Michael Crawford in this swinging sixties flick where a lothario schools his nebbish landlord.

Very much of it’s time. The first half is a lark. Ripping off the French New Wave on the streets on London like it is a gang show. The second half gets more serious about sexual politics. Very heavy handed and tone deaf. The sight of Frank Spencer pivoting around his unspent erections (albeit fully dressed) doesn’t help this not play like a musty relic.

5

Perfect Double Bill: The Girl With Green Eyes (1964)