Scott Cooper directs Christian Bale, Harry Melling and Gillian Anderson in this period mystery where a young Edgar Allen Poe and a grieving detective investigate grisly murders at a remote military academy.

Strong production values and a couple of fantastic on location shot compositions. Much like Sleepy Hollow and The Raven there’s something of an inert exercise in gothic style to this handsome potboiler. Both Melling and Bale are going for laboured, busy performances. When together their scenes can be incoherently daft. Nutty line readings akimbo! There is a tasty twist at the end of the mechanical whodunnit motions, well set up in the first volley of clues, but I was bored waiting for even that closing turn.

4

Perfect Double Bill: The Raven (2012)

I write regular features about live comedy for British Comedy Guide here https://www.comedy.co.uk/people/bobby_carroll/features/

Takeshi Kitano directs Beat Takeshi, Omar Epps and Claude Maki in this gangster thriller where a rejected Yakuza travels to LA and takes over the town.

Fish out of water. An near silent, blank faced Mick Dundee. A movie of moments. Some wonderful, some blunt and clumsy. The gangster stuff is very cartoon-ish. Lost in translation pastiche. Yet there are slabs of Takeshi’s absurdism and heartfelt visual poetry. Feels like a redundant stumble after all the palpable evolutions the director / star / writer / editor went through in the Nineties. Not that this loses the game, it just sullies the perfect batting average. At the very least has a lush Joe Hisaishi score. That incongruous aspect and Epps’ central role does give this a lot of spiritual overlap with Spike Lee’s Clockers.

6

Perfect Double Bill: Kids Return (1995)

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Renny Harlin directs Holly Goss, Matt Stokoe and Luke Albright in this found footage horror where amateur documentary makers travel to the Russia to explore the remote site of an unexplained tragedy.

A rich man’s Blair Witch with minimal tension and teen sitcom acting. Bungs a fair few Fortean theories against the wall in trying to come up with a compelling explanation of the true life mystery. Eventually… and I really mean eventually… resorts to entry level horror shocks without much gore, tension or impact. Was this meant to be PG-13? Hard to see Harlin’s imprint here on the direction.

3

Perfect Double Bill: Cannibal Holocaust (1980)

I write regular features about live comedy for British Comedy Guide here https://www.comedy.co.uk/people/bobby_carroll/features/

Todd Haynes directs Julianne Moore, Natalie Portman and Charles Melton in this drama where decades after their scandalous relationship made headlines, a couple starts to unravel when a TV actress arrives to research them for her new film.

Erotic mystery masquerading as melodrama. Consummately acted and sumptuous to look at. There is little resolution here. Unresolved subplots and interactions open to multiple interpretations. The kind of pastel coloured movie where everyone exists in a moral grey area. One of the last of this year’s Oscar contenders I needed to catch up with.

7

Perfect Double Bill: Chloe (2009)

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Sammi Cohen directs Adam Sandler, Sadie Sandler and Idina Menzel in this teen comedy where two childhood friends fall out before their big celebrations.

Nice, smart and colourful but you miss Adam whenever he’s offscreen which is too often.

5

Perfect Double Bill: Eight Grade (2019)

I write regular features about live comedy for British Comedy Guide here https://www.comedy.co.uk/people/bobby_carroll/features/

Rich Moore and Phil Johnston direct  John C. Reilly, Sarah Silverman and Gal Gadot in this Disney animated adventure where Ralph and Vanellope leave the arcade and go online.

A sequel that makes me feel like the culture has now passed me by. You can feel the writers’ desperately trying to cram in one more skit, hoping to strike gold and get that hyper relevant trailer moment. And you are left with a kid’s movie constantly grasping at nothing when it could just be… fun. There was a point where all plot threads felt like they were wrapping up and when I checked the remaining time there was still nearly an hour to go!?

3

Perfect Double Bill: Wreck It Ralph (2012)

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John Boorman directs Linda Blair, Richard Burton and Louise Fletcher in this horror sequel where a faltering priest investigates the death of Father Merrin and the fate of Regan.

As with many a sequel to a classic that underwhelms, this has a toxic reputation. And to gives the haters their due ExII is silly, unpredictable and features acting that feels press ganged out of its stars. It rarely works as a horror. And yet I enjoyed camp moments like Burton doing a terrible job of putting out a small fire and Blair’s completely inscrutable revival of Regan. Is she still possessed by Pazuzu or is it just awkward acting? Whenever Boorman veers into epic fantasy the project is fascinating. Vivid, demented. Just not very The Exorcist. The IMDB trivia page is defined by everyone’s excuses as to why they did it and why it isn’t their fault. I kinda liked it.

5

Perfect Double Bill: The Exorcist (1973)

I write regular features about live comedy for British Comedy Guide here https://www.comedy.co.uk/people/bobby_carroll/features/

Peter Greenaway directs Anthony Higgins, Janet Suzman and Anne-Louise Lambert in this Restoration period British arthouse gem where a much-requested draughtsman is hired to make drawings of a country estate and his fee includes full sexual access to the lady of the house.

Gloriously unconventional. I did prefer it when it was flat, passion-free sex comedy told in a series of still tableaux. A criminal intrigue is introduced and lives are destroyed. That comes a little left of field. Much like life. Memorably idiosyncratic.

7

Perfect Double Bill: The Cook, the Thief, His Wife & Her Lover (1989)

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Jeff Baena directs Alison Brie, Alessandro Nivola and Aubrey Plaza in this dark comedy where a chain restaurant star employee wins a corporate retreat to Italy.

Two of the foxiest, funniest comedic actresses currently working in an undefinable throwaway nothing. I’ve seen middling reviews and low averages for this and I can only assume that is because Spin Me Around is sold as a romantic comedy but really is nothing of the sort. It is funny, there are relationships you invest in and want to see consummated but the main target seems to aim at constant feeling of unease. Squirm and cringe. Part mystery, part broad comedy it plays out like a budget White Lotus season crammed into a sprightly unpredictable low key 90 minutes. Almost exactly the kinda film that if it came out in 1987 you might record it off the telly as the third selection on a long play stretched blank tape. The unknowable, unresolved quality of it making you revisit Spin Me Round more often than The Naked Gun and Dragnet. The ensemble make it. What does the title even mean? Surely not just the fate of a microwaved meal? A fantasy during a work lunch break while your food reheats?

7

Perfect Double Bill: Horse Girl (2019)

I write regular features about live comedy for British Comedy Guide here https://www.comedy.co.uk/people/bobby_carroll/features/

Cameron and Colin Cairnes direct David Dastmalchian, Laura Gordon and Ingrid Torelli in this period horror purporting to be the broadcast of a Seventies late night chat show where the devil appears, intermixed with behind the scenes footage.

One of the best acted horror flicks in a long old time. Dastmalchian and newcomer Torelli both put in gorgeously enigmatic performances that invite rewatches. The tone and look of the studio set are spot on. Slow burn with a sense of humour. When the shocks come they are full fat. The Cairnes Brothers do show us a little too much after a simple cut to commercial would have done the trick but as breakout calling cards go, I’m eager to see what they do next.

8

Perfect Double Bill: The Sacrament (2013)

You can follow me on Letterboxd here https://letterboxd.com/BobbyCarroll/