Ernest R Dickerson directs William Sadler, Jada Pinkett and Billy Zane in this horror about a man trying to protect a vial of Jesus blood from a devil.

More consistent and better assembled than it’s follow-up yet somehow less memorable. A decent enough evening killer.

5

Jim Jarmusch directs Bill Murray, Adam Driver and Chloë Sevingy in this ensemble horror comedy where zombies take over a self-aware deadpan town.

Jarmusch has been subverting genre for years, making films of the mundane moment other filmmakers chop out or never imagine. This half hearted take on the walking dead though just doesn’t land. A genre that has had as many superior comedy infused variations as pure horror entries already (Shaun of the Dead, Zombieland, Warm Bodies to name three) and whose genesis was with the satirical George Romero. The jokes Jarmusch wants to make have been done to death by livelier productions, the political points (about mindless consumerism and waning individuality) he churns up were already front and centre in Romero’s own Dawn of the Dead… way back in 1978. Which leaves The Dead Don’t Die resting on its “strengths” as an entertainment. It is too weak willed as a horror, too low energy as a comedy. Sure… you expect cold readings from both Bill Murray and Adam Driver, but they are both so monotone here that any trace of wit in the script is lost. As for Chloë Sevingy’s whiny coward character, it feels like a misogynistic betrayal of a great actress and something that wouldn’t even have passed muster in a straight horror post-Scream… let alone woke 2019. I’m sure the intention wasn’t there to create such a hateful caricature of a weak woman but, by God, it scans as such. Disappointing

3

Tobe Hooper directs Hunter Carson, Karen Black and Timothy Bottoms in this remake of the sci-fi horror from the 1950s where aliens exert mind control on a town’s population.

A very haphazard film. Told from a child’s POV, it has a naive innocence. Maybe it has retained that simplistic vibe from the 50s source material but it really doesn’t work. You have a prepubescent in a horror situation, where he is the only one behaving rationally or heroically. You can’t really get scared for him and the narrative balloons to take in way too much scale for him to still feel like a valid lead by third act. The humour might be tongue in cheek but doesn’t hit. Only some gloopy creature FX work makes this watchable.

3

The Coen Brothers direct Javier Bardem, Josh Brolin and Tommy Lee Jones in this western neo-noir thriller where a Vietnam vet with a case full of money, an assassin with a nihilistic code and a cautious lawman find themselves in a deadly chase.

One of the finest films ever made – expertly cast, right down to the one line characters, and somehow looking like both a comic book fantasy and a mundane reality in every shot. Thank you Roger Deakins… master of twilight cinematography and roadside dryness. The stalk and kill sequences have a compelling beauty to them. They click over with a well oiled mechanism’s certainty and precision, kinetic set pieces in fatalism. Carter Burwell’s atonal score scrapes all hope from the proceedings – one pause or wrong move and there’s nothing but cruel nature and fate out there. Cormac McCarthy’s dark musing on mankind is given room to breathe – the third act is one of the strangest yet most memorable in mainstream cinema. Leaving a simple plot abandoned full of questions, maybes and unseen grim certainties. Blackly hilarious too. When you aren’t glued to the screen in danger, you are chuckling at the poor gormless side characters just trying to get on with their day, oblivious to the maelstrom we are in. Perfection. “Call it, Friendo!”

10

Ciro Guerra and Cristina Gallego direct José Acosta, Natalie Reyes and Carmiña Martinéz in this crime saga where a Colombian lad drags his traditional tribe into the international drug trade so he can raise the dowry for his beloved.

Takes you to another world, exotic yet fully realised. Guerra & Gallego’s movie can be approached as a straightforward entry of the rise and fall of a drug kingpin sub-genre or a hauntingly nightmarish trip with a group of people abandoning their principles through greed and ambition. It works as both and proves a beautiful experience studded with bold character work, surreal bursts and violent extremes.

7

Claire Denis directs Vincent Lindon, Chiarra Mastroianni and Julie Bataille in this Parisian neo-noir where an uncle ingratiates himself into the world of the people who destroyed his niece’s life.

The comforting boundaries of genre force Denis to make a watchable film while retaining her arthouse sensibilities. This goes down some extremely dark paths and isn’t exactly in a rush to reach a satisfactory conclusion but as a one watcher, cinematic tale of revenge it works.

5

Jon Amiel directs Aaron Eckhart, Hilary Swank and Stanley Tucci in this sci-fi disaster pic where scientists tunnel to the centre of the Earth to let off a nuke that will get our planet spinning on its proper axis again.

Just guff. Weak unpolished CGI. Vomit plotting. Zero personality. Unconvincing peril. One of the worst blockbuster I’ve ever seen. Irredeemable.

1

Alan J. Pakula directs Julia Roberts, Denzel Washington and John Heard in this John Grisham thriller where a grad student accidentally hypothesises the true reasons behind a conspiracy and becomes a target for assassins.

I read The Pelican Brief in a tent and on the backseat of my parents’ car on a summer holiday in Dorset. I was gripped by the twists and turns, the corridor of power plotting and the near miss escapes. None of that intrigue and constant threat translates well on the big screen though. Roberts and Washington have no chemistry and share little screentime together even if they did. The occasional dashes around carparks and fairgrounds seem random and perfunctory. The conspiracy doesn’t even register – lots of boardroom and oak bar stool chit chat in hushed tones. Glossy yet slow – this has aged poorly.

4

Mike Barker directs Pierce Brosnan, Maria Bello and Gerard Butler in this yuppies-in-peril thriller where a kidnapper forces a couple to break the law to win back their daughter.

I get bored typing how unlikable a lead Butler often proves to be. This is a nadir even for him. The better actors don’t make much out of their stock roles either. The stakes never really get raised high enough that you worry they’ll not survive. Brosnan’s puppet master is way too forgiving. A nasty little thriller that isn’t nasty enough to thrill… and therefore deathly pointless.

3

Agnes Varda directs Valérie Mairesse, Thérèse Liotard and Ali Raffi in this musical drama focussing on two women who follow divergent lives during the Womens’ Movement.

A radical feminist who drops out to sing in a travelling band and a single mother who rebuilds her life cross paths again and again over a decade. Enriching each other’s happiness while sharing different outlooks on feminism. The artistic hippy Pauline / Pomme becomes an increasingly annoying caricature as time marches on (some scenes are almost spoofs to modern eyes) but I know that isn’t Varda’s intention. Liotard’s Suzanne however has a far more appealing journey – shifting from near destitute cautionary tale to a practical force for positive change in other womens’ live. Liotard’s story and role is so attractive you kinda grow to hate Pomme’s warbling bullshit and selfish romances that keep interrupting the more captivating subplots.

7