Tobe Hooper directs Elizabeth Berridge, Kevin Conway and William Finley in this slasher movie where four horny teens unleash carnival-set horror.

I don’t care how much you want to tit up a senior… you don’t stay in this carnival overnight by choice?! Starts with a prologue that is a spoof of Halloween and Psycho. Let’s you know three things right off the bat… 1. Don’t take this too seriously. 2. It knows the target audience. 3. It is gonna be tonally and structurally as messy as an overflowing bin at a funfair on Sunday night. And I appreciate all that about this forgotten gem. The first half is pretty much a creepy but accurate trip around a travelling show. Sleazy shenanigans, distasteful but fascinating. You can taste the dirty cotton candy. Then the horror kicks in but its a little chunk of everything… slasher movie, monster movie, parody, Southern Gothic, child’s nightmare. It all works, just very random. Yet for sustained atmosphere you don’t find much this seedy and this bonkers and this haphazard outside of Giallo. Hooper’s The Funhouse is… fun. Probably his best movie after TCM. Berridge is very winning as a final girl in every aspect.

8

Perfect Double Bill: Lifeforce (1986)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Robert De Niro directs himself, Chazz Palminteri and Lillo Brancato, Jr. in this period coming-of-age drama where a New York youth needs to decide between the values of his hard working father and the glamorous neighbourhood mob boss who takes him under his wing.

“The saddest thing in life is wasted talent.” Watched this to death as a teenager, bought it as a ‘Big Box’ Ex-Rental VHS. Still have a genuine and somehow still growing and growing fondness for it. Deceptively simple. Landing somewhere between Goodfellas and Stand By Me. Just rich with perfectly handled moments. Doo-Wop quartets on the corner. Pestering the fruit and veg man. A shooting “over a parking spot.” The police forcing you to snitch, looking up at all those murderous faces when you are just a little kid, no one sure if the kid will do the right thing, everyone knowing what the consequences are if he does. Nail biting. Jimmy Whispers. Eddie Mush. Frankie Coffee Cake. After seeing Chazz Palminteri’s one man theatre show De Niro wanted to direct it. He paid the money for the rights and made a gentleman’s agreement with Chazz the creator on who should play the gangster and adapt it for the big screen… but only if he, the A-Lister, could be the less showy family man, Lorenzo. Now Palminteri smashes his role as Sonny… but you can see why De Niro wanted to perform as the bus driver. One of his best turns – he exudes warmth, frustration and pragmatism. One of the most memorable movie Dads ever, a telly channel should have made a tradition of showing this every Father’s Day. A game of craps where the most annoying players are relegated to toilets. Lots of humour. Even the scariest, most intense characters get moments of grace and levity.

“I was getting two educations: One from the street and one from school. That way I’d be twice as smart as everybody.” The Dad and the surrogate face off in a scene pregnant with danger. We leap to 17. A sweet interracial romance. Eddie Mush goes to the racetrack. “You don’t even like him. There’s your answer right there. Look at it this way: It costs you 20 dollars to get rid of him… He’s out of your life for 20 dollars. You got off cheap. Forget him.” Street violence. Satan’s Messengers go into the wrong bar = even more violence. Baby Herc from The Wire selling guns.

“You’re only allowed three great women in your lifetime. They come along like the great fighters, every ten years.” The door lock test to true love. Molotov cocktails. A face in the crowd. My Cameo Vinny. What a movie! Manly, emotionally mature, full of great advice for young boys growing up on how to be themselves in the world.

9

Perfect Double Bill: Sleepers (1996)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Jim Archer directs David Earl, Chris Hayward and Louise Brealy in this British comedy where an eccentric but lonely inventor makes a sentient robot out of a mannequin’s head, a washing machine and two gardening gloves.

Full disclosure – I’ve worked with David Earl’s comedy creation Brian Gittins on the stand-up circuit and Edinburgh fringe before, think he’s a mad genius in his own way. This proves a strange but winning mix of lo-fi cringe, “indie movie” sheen and teatime kids movie. It probably is at its best when resembling Danny Champion Of the World or Bernard And The Genie rather than when it is leaning a bit too heavily into a very polished Wes Anderson aesthetic. The middle section is consistently laugh out loud funny. Gittins and Charles Petrescu have a lovely oddball rhythm together, and I was invested in how the dynamic would evolve once the makeshift robot begins to stop being a naïve sponge and starts to resemble a stroppy teenager. The big finale loses the jokes, aggressive tinker Eddie and his bullying family play out like a genuine threat. Seeing them get their comeuppance is crowd pleasing but I preferred the shoestring Odd Couple moments where an isolated soul finally gets someone to boil cabbages with. I can see this becoming a cult favourite and hope if Brian Gittins does get a third big screen outing (he was in Cemetery Junction too) he produces something a little less family friendly but equally as weird and wonderful.

6

Perfect Double Bill: Ex Machina (2014)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Deborah Kaplan and Harry Elfont direct Ethan Embry, Jennifer Love Hewitt and Lauren Ambrose in this teen romantic comedy following the crazy night of debauchery that happens to (at least) four dozen teens at one wild house party.

The 90s teen house party movie is given the Dazed and Confused / American Graffiti treatment. Lower those expectations, this is simple and scrappy. It gives you volume rather than value. None of the multitude of threads would impress on their own but they reach a satisfying barrage by the last lap. This has been edited down a little, taking out a few drink, drugs and sex reference to stay PG-13. The knock-on effect is certain character go nowhere. Can’t Hardly Wait is mainly notable for just how many forgotten and future teen TV and comedy stars it jampacks into 100 minutes. Jason Segel, Tara Benson and Selma Blair are floating around in nameless roles and THAT really is just the tip of iceberg. Hewitt looks amazing, doe eyed and chesty. Ambrose and Seth Green probably put the most effort in, even if their layer of the onion is cribbed directly from an episode of Friends. Soundtrack thumps, especially because of the sheer amount of Smash Mouth lurking around the back tracks.

5

Perfect Double Bill: 200 Cigarettes (1999)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Joseph L. Mankiewicz directs Montgomery Clift, Elizabeth Taylor and Katharine Hepburn in this gothic drama where a rich matriarch is financially encouraging an asylum to give her niece a lobotomy after she was a party to her mysterious son’s death.

Fascinating – in that you have three very different movie stars jumping through quite difficult hoops. Taylor is pure sex as the condemned young lady, she smashes the third act monologue, her face superimposed over surrealist flashbacks of her enigmatic cousin’s last days. Clift is battling with his real life trauma and addiction, noticeably a bit shaky but holding it together. Hepburn makes easy snacking of Tennessee William’s florid dialogue, though her moments do feel the most stagiest. It is definitely a story that get better as it goes along and one of the first to acknowledge homosexuality even if Mankiewicz is never permitted to be frank and explicit. The best moments are the most overwrought; Liz dangling above a lecherous ward of salivating and horny nuts, Liz begrudgingly splashing around in a revealing swimsuit for a baying crowd of salivating and horny locals.

7

Perfect Double Bill: Cat On A Hot Tin Roof (1958)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Jane Campion directs Benedict Cumberbatch, Kirsten Dunst and Jesse Plemons in this family drama set in the West, based Thomas Savage’s 1967 novel, about the abusive power struggles between two rancher brothers, the new woman of the house and her fey son.

I’ve read an article saying herein Cumberbatch compares with Lee Marvin in terms of menace, masculinity and stature. Don’t make me laugh? He’s either miscast here or overly clever clever casting. He never matches as a roughhouse tyrant, master of manifest destiny. And hidden away in the backstory there’s a couple of reasons for that. His repressed sexuality for one, the fact he is only a rich boy play acting as a man of the earth is the other. Yet I doubt his performance is that complex, it is happenstance that the job of convincing he’s a real man’s man is beyond him. Campion clearly loves the paradox of his antagonist. She all but forgets Dunst and Plemons in the last act, which is a shame as their performances have a fair bit more mileage to them. There is a good twist at the close (as I type that I realise the term “twist” has never been more appropriate… so mini round of applause for that.) The strong cinematography by Ari Wegner manages to make the landscapes beautiful but oppressive. The production design equally hits the right balance between stark and visually striking. The pace of it though is just a few beats off, confusing slovenliness with significance. There are definite longueurs where more psychological content could be neatly fitted in.

6

Perfect Double Bill: East Of Eden (1955)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

McG directs Judah Lewis, Jenna Ortega and Robbie Amell in this horror comedy sequel where various devil worshipping factions again want Cole’s virgin blood.

More of the same but with a lot less Samara Weaving. Mindless fun.

5

Perfect Double Bill: The Babysitter (2017)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Francesco Rosi directs Frank Wolff, Salvo Randone and Pietro Cammarata in this Italian true crime movie where a bandit becomes a resistance leader, his death creating a court case where the Mafia, the government and the military find themselves judged.

A biopic where we never properly see the subject once. And therefore understand his historical impact on Sicily even more.

6

Perfect Double Bill: Christ Stopped at Eboli (1979)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Lo Wei and Wu Chia Hsiang direct Bruce Lee, Maria Ye and James Tien in this martial arts movie where an immigrant worker at an ice factory in Thailand tries to keep his vow not to fight despite plenty of bullying and crime.

Teases us for the first half with Bruce resisting the urge to get his top off and kick ass. When he finally cracks it is a lot of fun, though pretty tame by Jackie or Jet Li standards. This feels more competently made than its cult reputation requires and it always seems to get me in the right mood, in spite of its meat and potatoes ambitions.

7

Perfect Double Bill: Game Of Death (1978)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

David Blue Garcia directs Elsie Fisher, Sarah Yarkin and Moe Dunford in the legacy sequel to the gory horror classic where a group of annoying influencers buy up the town Leatherface has been hiding out in.

You’d think there be some entertainment value in seeing such a repugnant bunch of youths chopped to bits but the scares don’t land and the cast is a bit too soft and pleasing to deserve their characters’ fates. Not that I’d want to watch a movie where any more of this lot survive. It just all feels out of sync, whenever the visuals are good the pace drops, whenever the kills get giddy, you question the set-up. Pass.

4

Perfect Double Bill: House Of Wax (2005)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

VWe also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/