Strait-Jacket (1964)

William Castle directs Joan Crawford, Diane Baker and Leif Erickson in this hagsploitation shocker where an axe murdering lady is released into her daughter’s care twenty years after she chopped her husband’s head off.

The twist is obvious and the shocks now taste tame. Crawford and Baker both give hypnotising performances. Castle’s tabloid style of black and white filming lacks consistency from scene to scene but certain runs (the intro / the makeover) are simultaneously thrilling and camp.

5

Bride Of Frankenstein (1935)

James Whale directs Boris Karloff, Elsa Lanchester and Colin Clive in this gothic horror sequel where the monster survives and seeks a companion.

I prefer the first one. This feels like a lot of good ideas jumbled together, shook up and then flung at a brick wall abruptly. Karloff is impressive, given more to do, the monster begins to grow self aware. The chesty Mary Shelley prologue, the little creations in jars, the visit to the hermit, the Bride’s revulsion… all juicy stuff.

7

Touch Of Death (1988)

Lucio Fulci directs Brett Halsey, Ria De Simone and Al Cliver in this dark Italian comedy where a paranoid gigolo kills and eats his boring lovers.

Absolute cobbled together cheap dross. Brett Halsey, however, is a whole passel of pleasures as the vain, paranoid serial killer. We really get into his head, sharing his disgust at the comical grotesques he beds and butchers. A sleazy, wobbly, sunburnt first draft of Bret Easton Ellis’ American Psycho. If it catches you in the right mood there is intentional and unintentional laughs a plenty.

5

John Carpenter’s Village Of The Damned (1995)

John Carpenter directs Christopher Reeve, Kirstie Alley and Linda Kozlowski in this relatively faithful American update of the classic sci-fi horror chiller The Midwich Cuckoos.

Very flat. Even Carpenter’s classy compositions come across as a bad way to frame kids with Liberace hair. The body count is increased but the deaths lack tension. The casting of multiple name actors who were the leads in mega hits (but cannot carry a movie beyond that) must mean something. Surely?

4

The Sect (1991)

Michele Soavi directs Kelly Curtis, Herbert Lom and Maria Angela Giordano in this Italian / German demonic mystery where creepy people keep trying to enter the secret basement to a kindergarten teacher’s secluded house.

At its best when you have no idea where all this hysteria is going. I’m not sure Soavi justifies all his nutty motifs. Rabbits, blue water parasites, feathers, nose bugs, boxes tied up with string. But the opening twenty minutes are pretty awesome, especially a barely connected chase around Frankfurt. The rest of the movie might try your patience on a second viewing.

6

Day Of The Dead (1985)

George A Romero directs Lori Cardille, Terry Alexander and Joe Pilato in this third entry in the zombie horror series where survivors in an underground military bunker find themselves more dangerous than the undead that besiege them.

Not my favourite of the Dead trilogy. The last remnants of living society fall apart. Plenty of gun totin’ civics, just not enough zombie action. Savini’s gore FX are remarkable and stomach churning. Bub the smart zombie is cute.

6

Sofia Coppola directs Kirsten Dunst, Jason Schwartzman and Asia Argento in this sugar rush biopic of the iconic but ill-fated queen of France.

A one-of-a-kind. History as a mood, decadence as a cage. The sensory maximalism make this a masterpiece of visual design. A work of beauty, completely in harmony with itself. Perfect.

10

Perfect Double Bill: The Affair Of The Necklace (2001)

I write regular features about live comedy for British Comedy Guide here https://www.comedy.co.uk/people/bobby_carroll/features/ and my own Substack https://substack.com/@edinburghlaughterbulletin

Ali Abbasi directs Sebastian Stan, Jeremy Strong and Maria Bakalova in this biopic of Donald Trump following his early years of moving out from beneath his tyrannical father’s shadow and his mentoring from controversial fixer Roy Cohn.

Meaty movie but quite grim at times. There’s definitely queasy, heavy content that saps the joy out of the satirical element. Three full fat performances. Strong’s method works well here in a take on closeted gay legal bully Roy Cohn that has shades of Amadeus’ Salieri. Stan goes from strength to strength. His complex study on the future unethical POTUS is initially quite human and vulnerable. All sympathy leaves the building as the Trump we know and hate takes over the struggling neophyte. Trump Begins. Abbasi plays with colourisation and aspect ratios to achieve a New York in flux. Bankruptcy turns to regeneration over a haphazard decade. Neither state is attractive. He is an exciting director, this flawed film is probably his best so far. I feel he has a truly great one in him.

7

Perfect Double Bill: W. (2008)

François Ozon directs Nadia Tereszkiewicz, Rebecca Marder and Isabelle Huppert in this French period farce where a struggling actress confesses to a murder she (probably) did not commit for the notoriety.

Very much a stagey French farce titivated by beautiful actresses in sumptuous clothes. There’s even a sole minute where bonus nudity intrudes and stomps over all the tasteful teatime visuals. Huppert makes a memorable appearance in the final third. As attractive as all this looks it really isn’t my thing.

4

Perfect Double Bill: 8 Women (2002)

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Aki Kaurismäki directs Kati Outinen, Kari Väänänen and Markku Peltola in this Finnish arthouse drama where a middle aged married couple struggle with being suddenly jobless during a recession.

Cheery isn’t a word you would immediately associate with Kaurismäki but this one is particularly depressing for a long haul. A Ken Loach plot done in his unique deadpan tone. The simply composed unmoving camera creates some wonderfully vivid moments, the stillness lets every gesture, line and development marinate into you. Not fun, yet not cynical. Kati Outinen expresses so much with so little here. I’m still getting used to this director – cute dogs, cinema trips, restaurants as heaven. I like him more and more with every new film. Though I had strong deja vu with some of these scenes. Late night after the pub in the nineties no doubt?

7

Perfect Double Bill: Raining Stones (1993)

Paul Verhoeven directs Casper Van Dien, Dina Meyer and Denise Richards in this sci-fi war satire where the fascist youth armies of Earth go to war against massive alien bugs.

I haven’t seen this since the multiplex where it left me cold. I could see then it was big budget Hollywood dreck yet all done with a smarmy Dutch smirk on its face. Verhoeven is a canny operator. The purposefully bland casting and a two hour plus running time do handicap it. Robocop did a far better job of blending the sex, violence, gore, satire, cybernetics and saltiness. This is just a little too sheeny shiny smooth. There’s gloop but no grit. Phil Tippett’s creature animation is something special as always. And Dina Meyer bucks the trend of dead eyed recital of going through cliched motions by being actually vivacious and convincingly capable. Fascism is bad, now let’s kill some insectiods and have larks with it. Clancy and Ironside are in it… so there’s that. DO YOU WANT TO KNOW MORE?

7

Perfect Double Bill: Edge Of Tomorrow (2014)

I write regular features about live comedy for British Comedy Guide here https://www.comedy.co.uk/people/bobby_carroll/features/ and my own Substack https://substack.com/@edinburghlaughterbulletin

Max Ophüls directs Barbara Bel Geddes, Robert Ryan and James Mason in this melodrama where a department store model marries a twisted business tycoon and finds herself trapped in a loveless union.

Shot like a noir but very much a soap. Ryan’s bastard man millionaire is based on Howard Hughes. He bullies and control everyone. He sees Barbara Bel Geddes as an object he owns, she tries to break free and restart her life but a contract is a contract… Not a million miles away from Ophül’s period romantic tragedies – just with a present day setting. The director is particularly good at sympathising with ladies in precarious situations and making his ornate set design tell the story as much as the actors. Here that story is a bit too thin to support the shifts and swerves but he directs the fuck out of it anyway.

6

Perfect Double Bill: The Reckless Moment (1949)

Griffin Dunne directs Sandra Bullock, Nicole Kidman and Aidan Quinn in this supernatural fantasy drama where two ‘witch’ raised sisters are reunited.

At times this feels very much like an adaptation of a book that works best as a book. Often though Practical Magic bares the scars of reshoots, a rushed edit and studio uncertainty. There are so many extraneous characters. It feels like the stellar Dianne Wiest and Stockard Channing get lost in the shuffle… even Nicole is sidelined in the second half. Is it a romance? Is it a PG horror? A comedy? Feels like a pilot for a spooky Gilmore Girls. Fair to say I was never the intended audience for this but did it have to be so all over the shop? I just never settled into this.

5

Perfect Double Bill: Forces Of Nature (1999)

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Damien Leone directs David Howard Thornton, Jenna Kanell and Samantha Scaffidi in this extreme slasher where a maniac named Art the Clown terrorizes two friends on Halloween and everyone who gets in his way.

I had heard bad things so was late to the party on this one. Does everything a classic slasher should. Yeah, the gore is OTT but that has never harmed a sick flick’s cult potential. David Howard Thornton’s very playful, endlessly threatening Art The Clown elevates this. It is such an iconic performance that all the cheapness and the dank is wallpapered over. A new horror MVP.

7

Perfect Double Bill: Terrifier 2 (2022)

Norman Jewison directs Steve McQueen, Faye Dunaway and Paul Burke in this romantic heist thriller where a well-to-do criminal mastermind falls for the insurance investigator trying to nab him.

Dated enough now that its visually heady brew of cool, camp, chic and collages somehow works again. McQueen is a little miscast. He’s a bit too bristling man-of-action for an essentially passive, fantasy figure role. Watching him try to casually laugh or pretend he is interested in contracts is a little risible… maybe Jewison exploits the happy accident. Dunaway has fun though in one of her lightest turns. Very much a case of style over substance, like the infamous theme song Windmills Of Your Mind, it exists in its own little bubble and ultimately doesn’t mean anything. Time travelling – with one great heist and lots of lifestyle porn.

7

Perfect Double Bill: The Cincinnati Kid (1965)

I write regular features about live comedy for British Comedy Guide here https://www.comedy.co.uk/people/bobby_carroll/features/ and my own Substack https://substack.com/@edinburghlaughterbulletin