Ben Sharpsteen and Hamilton Luske direct Cliff Edwards, Dickie Jones and Christian Rub in this Walt Disney classic about the puppet who wants to become a real boy.

As a kid Pinocchio used to be up there with The Jungle Book as one of my Disney favourites. The evolution of the animation from Snow White to this is notable. Nearly every song is a banger. When You Wish Upon a Star / There Are No Strings On Me / Give A Little Whistle! Does the general population even remember that Hi-Diddle-Dee-Dee (An Actor’s Life For Me) came from this? Memorably hissable villains: Honest John, Stromboli, The Coachman, Monstro. The utter dark nightmare that is Pleasure Island. The episodic plot is a tad too repetitive. Pinocchio is too much of a sap head to really care about if you are an adult. The syrup and the nightmare don’t alway gel all that well together. But it is still a magical experience overall.

8

Perfect Double Bill: A.I. Artificial Intelligence (2001)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

David O. Russell directs Christian Bale, John David Washington and Margot Robbie in this period conspiracy caper (based on some true historical events) where three unlikely soulmates try to clear their names and stop fascism in 1930s New York.

Margot Robbie is like a beacon of hope in this cold mess. I admire the enterprise, but the narrative is too formless and erratic to ever hook you in. You know exactly where this is headed early doors despite plenty of long ways round and misdirections but the plot has no internal drive. It really is just an endless parade of famous faces in interwar drag. A really stellar parade of names cropping up for cameos and bits but eventually the effect wears off and you realise the shaggy dog story ain’t got all that much to say. Which is ironic for such a talky film that doesn’t ever know when to keep schtum. There are neat moments, Bale is reaching for something ambitious in his deliberately abrasive lead performance that he doesn’t quite manage. You’ll leave the multiplex talking about Mike Myers and Taylor Swift. I had a real fear at times this was going to be I Heart Huckabees as a Coen Brothers pastiche. It never hits that low, but the pretension and unruly nature of Amsterdam does bust a very expensive gamble.

4

Perfect Double Bill: A Rage In Harlem (1991)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Gina Prince-Bythewood directs Viola Davis, Thuso Mbedu and Lashana Lynch in this 19th century historical epic about the Agojie, the all-female warrior unit that protected the West African kingdom of Dahomey.

Lots to like here. Terrific Terence Blanchard score – rousing. Excellent locations and production design. The colours and detailing of the costuming by Gersha Phillips stand out – I don’t even want to guess what the seashell budget was for this? The combat work is aggressive and convincing… though maybe each set piece needed a few more beats per battle to truly feels expansive. And then there’s that cast! Everybody shines (apart from the slavers / himbo romantic interest.) Viola Davis obviously owns the film but you equally crave as much screentime from Lynch, Shelia Atim and John Boyega as the narrative can allow. Thuso Mbedu as the young warrior in training is a star in the making. Yet all these positives can’t alter the problem that the storytelling often feels rather rote at times… and the cinematography by Polly Morgan is awkwardly flat and uninspired. Her framing here doesn’t understand how to make a moment look iconic and she has little flair for action. Proof that it takes just a few out of sync technical elements to hobble a potential new classic.

6

Perfect Double Bill: Amistad (1997)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Anne Fletcher directs Bette Midler, Sarah Jessica Parker and Kathy Najimy in this legacy sequel to the ‘olden times witches terrorise a modern day Halloween night’ kids cult favourite.

Just as shrill and convoluted as the original. The childhood prologue set in the 17th century was actually alright.

4

Perfect Double Bill: Hocus Pocus (1993)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Peter Strickland directs Fatma Mohamed, Asa Butterfield and Gwendoline Christie in this surreal drama where the latest collective to join The Sonic Catering Institute threaten to split up.

Not one of Strickland best but you can never fault the house weirdness. He gives the wonderfully unique Fatma Mohamed a home. He regurgitates verbose tangles and sensual images. You gotta admire his continued commitment to his personal tastes and narrow humour. British cinema would be a drab, sexless place without him. And his meaty slithers of uncanny sauce always grow on me with repeated viewings so who knows how I’ll feel about this in 5 years time.

6

Perfect Double Bill: The Duke Of Burgundy (2014)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Hal Hartley directs Parker Posey, Jeff Goldblum and James Urbaniak in this lo-fi, zoned out espionage thriller.

A sequel to a film I’m not sure I’ve watched and Natalie certainly hasn’t. Very talky. Very deadpan. Does trot the globe though. Ultimately dispiriting.

3

Perfect Double Bill: Henry Fool (1997)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Paweł Pawlikowski directs Ethan Hawke, Kristin Scott Thomas and Joanna Kulig in this Paris-set mystery based on a novel by Douglas Kennedy.

A writer stalks his estranged wife and daughter. Hides out in a flophouse above a cafe. Picks up work as a security guard at an underground mystery tunnel. Starts boffing an enigmatic widow he meets at a literary party. Murders happen. Lots of intriguing threads with flat resolutions. The journey is far more potent than the destination. Background noir. Pretentious soft-boiled. The acting and locations make this.

5

Perfect Double Bill: L’Appartment (1996)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

James Mangold directs Sylvester Stallone, Ray Liotta and Harvey Keitel in this crime drama where the sad sack sheriff, in a town built by corrupt NYPD cops, begins to question his duties.

A New Jersey High Noon. So many exciting names here doing solid to spectacular work. Robert De Niro. Michael Rapaport. Cathy Moriarty. Robert Patrick. Janeane Garofalo. Annabella Sciorra. Edie Falco. It can feel pretty bunged up on early watches. Akin to L.A. Confidential – this is a mood piece and a character piece that races through 600 pages of literary plotting. If you give it a few chances and become less concerned with the quagmire conspiracy of Internal Affairs, arson attacks and missing “superboy”s then the texture and melancholy of this sad little community really starts to wash over you and impress. In 1997, post-Tarantino, this felt a little trad and run-of-the-mill. Now, Cop Land’s mature dealing with ideas of regret, heroics and helplessness make it seem like quite the rare bird. Seventies New American Cinema is a clear influence. Stallone does career best work as the overweight and half deaf town teddy bear who polishes up his badge and does the right thing. Keitel gets the showiest role as the town father figure turned ingratiating tyrant. And Liotta relishes probably his finest post-Goodfellas part as the cokehead has-been with the knowledge of a sage and a heart of gold. All three performances elevate the movie into ‘forgotten classic’ territory. The rousing finale where Stallone’s vulnerable Sheriff Freddy Heflin cleans house, through a fog of agonising white noise, is cathartic sustained action at its very best.

8

Perfect Double Bill: Clockers (1995)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Donald Petrie directs Sandra Bullock, Michael Caine and William Shatner in this ‘fed goes undercover at a beauty pageant’ comedy.

A blunt force frippery with minimal surprises. The older support cast members add some sparkle but the jokes would struggle to make the cut in most prime time sitcoms’ writing rooms.

4

Perfect Double Bill: Miss Congeniality 2: Armed & Fabulous (2005)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Kim Ki-young directs Lee Eun-shim, Ju Jeung-nyeo and Kim Jin-kyu in this South Korean erotic drama where a family is put to the test when a co-worker and a live-in maid both plot to steal the feckless music teacher husband.

An attack on the conformist family / capitalist / gender values of Korean life, this works best as a corkscrew thriller. Your sympathies shift about a fair bit as the tables turn and turn. Two fumbles stop it from hitting classic status. 1 – Like Psycho, this really pushes at the restriction of what genre cinema could and couldn’t do in the early Sixties, but it now feels too coy for something so constantly horny. 2 – The weird little trick ending is unnecessary and also a product of its time. Bong Joon-ho has said The Housemaid was one of the inspirations for his 2019 Academy Award-winning film Parasite. That scans.

7

Perfect Double Bill: The Servant (1963)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/