Marguerite Duras directs Delphine Seyrig, Noëlle Châtelet and Nathalie Nell in this arthouse bore where a series of stilted, repetitive conversations about a villa being up for rent and an absent husband’s infidelities are drowned out by a looping instrumental ditty.
Interminable. I only read a third of the later subtitles. I’m thinking of cancelling my MUBI subscription if this is the best they’ve offered up in 10 days!
Steven E. de Souza directs Jean-Claude Van Damme, Raul Julia and Kylie Minogue in this video game adaptation about a group of fighters who square off against a hostage holding dictator.
I pumped so many 30ps and then 50ps into the arcade cabinet hidden between the magazines at the rougher newsagents near us. More often than not only to last two short rounds against the kids who spent entire weeks playing as Ryu or Ken exclusively. They’d laugh when you picked E. Honda or Dhalsim… and considering how they had mastered their characters more devastating moves, they were absolutely right to. The film came out long after the Street Fighter II craze had settled down. And while it slavishly does try to include every character (a few purely, others crowbarred in in almost unrecognisable forms) the overcrowdedness muffles any simple pleasures. Jean Claude Van Damme sits the middle act out, he has to, there are just that many pointless subplots. And all these characters are shunted into an overarching story that involves… barely any street fighting. The competition format is ignored… an Enter the Dragon style plot surely would have fitted this cash-in like Vega’s clawed glove. Instead we are left with a toyified adventure – way too cartoonish for adults but way too violent for kids. Raul Julia makes for a full fat parody villain but in the service of a project that only knows one type of rubbery dildo-esque excess. Far from PERFECT!
Herbert Wilcox directs Anna Neagle, Trevor Howard and Marius Goring in this true life WWII espionage biopic about a British single mother who became an undercover spy supplying the French Resistance.
A rather stolid take on what should be a fascinating story. Everything is stiff upper lip and fair play. Except some awkwardly filmed torture that lingers on the perpetrators faces uncomfortably. There’s a similar film called Carve Her Name With Pride that retells the heroics of another real life volunteer that is far more cinematic and action packed.
George P. Cosmatos directs Roger Moore, Telly Savalas and Elliot Gould in the WWII caper where prisoners of war on a Greek Island rope their good German warden into a heist.
A lot of snobs look down their noses at this one but (while nowhere near The Great Escape God Tier) it is a perfectly grand Boy’s Own lark for all its dated compromises. Rog is a lovely gent as always who just happens to be wearing the enemy’s uniform. Half hearted accent aside, you know implicitly he’s a good egg from the start. He and David Niven take a classy back seat for the second half which is action, action, action. Seventies on-location destruction derby-a-go-go. Rhodes gets torn up… Shaft throws grenades, Ross’ Dad chases the SS in an incongruously blistering motorcycle chase that matches 007’s finest stunt work and Kojack is a bad ass resistance monk. The Girl From U.N.C.L.E. does a PG striptease for Mr Bronson from Grange Hill. Claudia Cardinale runs a cheeky brothel! Silly ensemble work gives way to explosive spectacle. What else do you guys want from your expensive yet cost cutting afternoon filler? An anachronistic advert from the Greek Tourist board to come visit the locations set to specifically commissioned disco music? Well… just guess how this barmy charmer ends?
Hirokazu Kore-eda directs Hiroshi Abe, Satomi Koboyashi and Kirin Kiki in this Japanese family drama where a feckless detective spends a final weekend with his estranged son and moving-on ex.
The first hour is quite pleasurable, as much a formless week in the life of scuzzy private investigator – softball crimes, cheap cons and bottom tier sleuthing – as a sophisticated soap. The familial elements that add coarseness to this shaggy dog enterprise snap into focus in the second half. The embattled weary relations of our back-on-his-heels loser find themselves trapped in a cramped flat. A storm rages outside. Ultimatums are made, sad realisations finalised… and a little bit of hope and back pedalling is left with us at the credits. I’m not going to lie and pretend the gambling and unethical behaviour of Hiroshi Abe isn’t what I enjoyed the most but for you purer arthouse heads there is plenty of cooking, furtive looks and tender moments too.
Hettie MacDonald directs Glen Berry, Scott Neal and Linda Henry in this London romance where two council estate lads fall for each other.
A small but significant film. The acting is variable but it makes its points with a subtle sophistication. Home life is given more credo than street life, bullying becomes a background irritant rather than a plot driver for the romance, the estate itself isn’t all grim and brutal… people have jobs and passions away from the obvious. The magical realist ending leaves us with a smile on our face but no definitive answer as to how these relationships will blossom or die surrounded by so much attention. Would make a fine double bill with recent gay classic Pride.
John Ford directs John Wayne, Victor McLaglen and Joanna Dru in this Western where a retiring Cavalry captain takes his troop out on one last patrol.
Manifest Destiny: The Sitcom Years. Dated politics and racism aside, this is a beautiful ensemble piece. The location work is stunning, Duke delivers his most uncharacteristically human turn of acting and the always wonderful McLaglen gets a comedy bar fight sequence just for the sake of things. Duty and peril take over romantic triangles and scenery but the light witty air never abandons the production. A fine film.
Dean Parisot directs Keanu Reeves, Alex Winter and Brigette Lundy-Paine in this legacy sequel to the time travelling dudes movies from your youth.
The ultimate “I like what they did there” movie. Every scene you think to yourself “I like what they did there.” Not love though… as an entertainment this isn’t particularly thrilling, coherent or funny. It gets by on heart and nostalgia. Jesus only knows what non-converts would make of it. But seeing a creaky but enthused Reeves and Winter share the spotlight again is its own reward, Sadler’s Death steals the show and whoever Brigette Lundy-Paine is, she deserves an Oscar. More Bogus Journey than Excellent Adventure but that’s O.K.
Barbet Schroeder directs Jennifer Jason Leigh, Bridget Fonda and Stephen Tobolowsky in this yuppie-in-peril thriller where a new flatmate proves violently possessive.
Unlike most blank-from-hell movies, you can kinda get behind JJL’s rampaging mayhem here. Fonda goes through her stuff, moans about work constantly and rejects the cute doomed puppy she brings home. Then she expects our villain to be homeless just because she wants her cheating ex back. Stab ‘em all in the eye with a high heel, honey. Rents in Manhattan are too high for that kinda fuckabout.
Joseph Losey directs Isabelle Huppert, Jacques Spiesser and Jeanne Moreau in this erotic drama where a country girl works her way up the ranks of society as the chaste paramour for a series of wealthy patrons.
The first half hour promises more than the film delivers. We get teen Huppert milking fish and avoiding groping old letchs. Then she is hustling in a bowling alley. Tres chic. Then dumping her fey husband of convenience to go on a business trip to Japan. Then we get a little lost and loose for an hour. Then she’s inadvertently empowering Jeanne Moreau to confront her feckless husband. It all amounts to nothing and certain key plot points about business deals are skirted over with a hurried clumsiness. But Huppert is the tits here… as one of Losey’s trademark class and sexuality obliterating enigmas she holds a ramshackle enterprise together.
Bobby Carroll's Movie Diary 