Bill Condon directs Emma Watson, Dan Stevens and Luke Evans in this live action remake of the animated Disney classic where cursed brute and intelligent maiden fall for each other just in time to break a spell. 

Fabulously (almost grotesquely) ornate, ridiculously expanded from its source movie by a whole hour, bravely wearing a fittingly modern and inclusive diversity on its sleeve… I still can’t see a situation where I’d pop this on again at two plus hours over the brilliant 85 minute animated original. Only Luke Evan’s rippling Gaston matches his hand drawn counterpart. The normally fantastic Stevens and Kevin Kline seem neutered amid the CGI, while Watson’s Belle is annoyingly toothsome. As she winsomely barked at a wardrobe “I’m not a princess” I thought “Jog on, love, and stick your pretty dress on.” The wardrobe seemingly agreed. Like a good tranny drag act, this passes as a big screen blockbuster, but we all know it is miming along to a more talented original’s work.

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