Drew Goddard directs Kristen Connolly, Chris Hemsworth and Fran Kranz in this self-aware horror flick where five co-eds go for a weekend in a creepy forest only for their actions to be observed and controlled for some greater evil.

To my mind the last great meta slasher movie of the cycle. In that it is a horror inspired by The Evil Dead / Friday The 13th where the logic behind the massacre means the tropes have to happen. The cliched become ritual with a live commentary track from the manipulators / production crew. But here’s the pudding… beyond all this smart alec multilayered stuff, there’s still a very strong horror movie to follow. One that goes all out zany, mega kill, freakshow-alooza for the last act. Like a sanitised, multiplex friendly House Of A Thousand Corpses. This is the closest cinema has ever got to a good couple of episodes of Buffy (hey, check out those creatives…). Kristen Connolly has definite sex appeal as our final girl but you can’t wait to get back to the snippets of snark and conspiracy from underground Mission Control. Run by the always welcome working stiffs Bradley Whitford and Richard Jenkins. They rock in this.

9

Perfect Double Bill: Knock At The Cabin (2023)

I write regular features about live comedy for British Comedy Guide here https://www.comedy.co.uk/people/bobby_carroll/features/ and my own Substack https://substack.com/@edinburghlaughterbulletin

Christopher McQuarrie directs Tom Cruise, Hayley Atwell and Pom Klementieff in this concluding chapter of the espionage franchise where Ethan Hunt and his team are humanity’s last hope against The Entity.

I am possibly too partisan to write sensibly about the final chapter of a franchise that has dominated my adult movie going life. When the opening montage of greatest moments and Hunt glorification fired up I had literal tears in my eyes within seconds. The sole big problem with Final Reckoning is it is too long and the excess is not just in the action but also in reminding us what has happened before, still needs to happen and just how amazing Tom Cruise is. I do not disagree with the self worship (he’s earned it) but it does create slack. We get two massive spectacle sequences. A near wordless underwater submarine assault course is breathtaking, while the ticking clock biplane dogfight countdown finale is simply some of the riskiest stunt work an A-List star has ever put themselves through for our popcorn munching pleasure. They are both as mind blowing and pulse raising as any beloved OTT ‘Tom’ moment in the series entire. Only on a gargantuan scale. McQuarrie knows how to sustain tension on a colossal canvas. And his now honed take on the IMF world has unlikely teams and omnipresent masterminds. Bringing us right back to his classic, gold standard script for The Usual Suspects. Only here plutonium yields replace silencers. He is in his element. Angela Bassett is back now as ‘the prez’ in a sideshow remake of Fail Safe. Klementieff steals focus constantly as the deranged killer turned good guy. It is a giddy big screen confection. Maybe one step down from the near consistent highs of the series entire but a more than satisfying full stop. Choose to accept it.

8

Perfect Double Bill: Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning Part One (2023)

The Coen Brothers direct Billy Bob Thornton, Frances McDormand and Michael Badalucco in this film noir where a quiet barber plots an escape from his empty existence.

For OG Joel and Ethan fans this feels like the end of an era. From Blood Simple through to this everything they made together was Golden Age. You may have your favourites, we all have our preferences, but each and every one was of a quality so high, from a perspective so unmatchable, with nary a stinker within. Afterwards the record gets a bit more spotty. There would still be 5 star masterpieces (No Country For Old Men, True Grit) but there is a growing unease that they started making films because they thought they should rather than they had a long gestating script with a burning destiny to be put into production. A lesser film perhaps but still a no less enjoyable film from Joel and Ethan. Here they share their passion for James M Cain’s writing and classic noir visuals. It is grimmer, bleaker and more nihilistic than anything the brothers have ever done before or after, and the conclusion is an unsatisfying punchline, yet this is a mystery you watch for its quintessential Coens casting. Everyone is perfectly housed in a fine part – Billy Bob Thornton’s best dramatic performance here is not entirely dissimilar to his best comedy role (The Barber is a repressed, neater ancestor of his Bad Santa). Quality work if not all that crowd pleasing. The crisper than crisp B&W cinematography from Roger Deakins matches the empty, hopeless machinations.

8

Perfect Double Bill: Blood Simple (1984)

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Stephen Frears directs Colm Meaney, Donal O’Kelly and Ger Ryan in this Irish comedy of an unemployed man invests his severance into a burger van but makes the mistake of letting his bullish mate in as a partner.

Dignity for the unemployed working class man. A slice of life comedy with a ribald edge. A year before The Full Monty, this Roddy Doyle adaptation covered much the same ground only with chip pan fat rather than Velcro thongs. Gives a feature length showcase to Colm Meaney which can only be a good thing. There is plenty of low key bad behaviour but not too much judgment. A gentle treat.

6

Perfect Double Bill: The Snapper (1993)

Lorcan Finnegan directs Nicolas Cage, Julian McMahon and Miranda Tapsell in this psychological thriller set in a car park by an Aussie beach.

Not much surfing. “Locals only!” Equally one of the most balanced Cage performances in a long time. He is still falling down, it has that mania, but it all makes a certain degree of logical sense. The claustrophobia of a beach carpark (blazing asphalt, stinky loos) next to a forbidden paradise is tantalising. This is a sensory experience, hyper involving. As a small scale homage to Wake In Fright and Walkabout The Surfer hits the spot. I snuck a sixer of tinnies in and it vibed exactly right. Has the awesome line “He’s the kinda guy who’ll make you watch him punch your boy’s teeth out.” Scrappy but perfect.

8

Perfect Double Bill: Vivarium (2019)

I write regular features about live comedy for British Comedy Guide here https://www.comedy.co.uk/people/bobby_carroll/features/ and my own Substack https://substack.com/@edinburghlaughterbulletin

David F. Sandberg directs Ella Rubin, Michael Cimino and Odessa A’zion in this horror where a group of friends are trapped in a time loop where they all die repeatedly.

Bland leads, forced emotional backstory and a well worn premise. But the kills go really hard and are pleasingly relentless.

6

Perfect Double Bill: Tarot (2024)

William Wyler directs Audrey Hepburn, Shirley MacLaine and James Garner in this drama where two young teachers find their boarding school under threat when a bratty child spreads a rumour about them.

Based on Lillian Hellman’s play, this was quite the risk back in the day as it openly suggests its big stars actually are lesbians. Unconsumated, but still… A real tension grinder with three A-List names (all household favourites in our home) playing against type and excelling. Lovely to see them all stretched. Karen Balkin as the malignant demon child is superb.

8

Perfect Double Bill: The Killing Of Sister George (1968)

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Rob Marshall directs Ziyi Zhang, Michelle Yeoh and Ken Watanabe in this historical drama where a young girl is sold into service at a geisha house and witnesses the end of an era.

One thing the Noughties fully embraced was a big budget adaptation of mass market literature. Book club sensations repurposed as Oscar Bait and potential blockbusters. For a fair few years Spielberg dithered over whether to focus his energies into this multiplex friendly take on Arthur Golden’s historical fiction bestseller. As always with these decade spanning tomes there are a few too many characters and subplot strands for the whole to feel balanced over two hours. But it is pretty lush and some set pieces marinate long enough to have genuine impact. Would it work better as a miniseries with only Japanese actors in the Japanese roles?… Well, of course. Yet it is hard not be seduced by the Asian star power press-ganged into the service of all this epic sweep. Michelle Yeoh is radiant. Gong Li deliciously villainous.

6

Perfect Double Bill: Snow Falling On Cedars (1999)

Sylvain Guy directs Ryan O’Neal, Roc Lafortune and Mädchen Amick in this erotic thriller where a judge must preside over a case that implicates all his respectable colleagues with visiting a kinky call girl.

Shoestring budget, dog’s dinner of a DTV erotic thriller. The disturbingly sloppy storytelling is there to hide a twist. You can’t even enjoy the few scenes of Amick in her scanties as she is partnered with some awful looking elderly dudes.

3

Perfect Double Bill: Bombshell (1997)

I write regular features about live comedy for British Comedy Guide here https://www.comedy.co.uk/people/bobby_carroll/features/ and my own Substack https://substack.com/@edinburghlaughterbulletin

Greg Berlanti directs Scarlett Johansson, Channing Tatum and Woody Harrelson in this period romantic comedy where a NASA head and a marketing whizz fall for each other in the build up to the Apollo 11 launch.

Expensive and classy. But also… something I worked out to and did a load of admin while it was on. Wasn’t my plan to be this distracted but was just too lightweight to fully grip. And I don’t feel I missed much when my eyes were averted. The faked moon landing swizz finale feels like a strange gambit to lean into given these days of “post-truth” everything.

5

Perfect Double Bill: Down With Love (2003)